Don't Let It Consume You (Fear.)

Fear is a poison like no other. From fear, the ideas of the most extreme are composed and exercised like demons preparing for the Olympics. Fear causes people to pursue without ration or the simplest form of a plan. Fear is a disease that is easily spread in an airborne, word-of-mouth sense. Look at what fear did for us last summer, when half of the world was running around like chickens with their heads cut off. While all of the “unholu” souls ran rampid, religious organizations, small businesses with a good enough hook, and (depending on your city) t-shirt businesses and local stands were capitalizing and cashing in on FEAR. It seems that, aside from a few treacherous, heartbreaking, and phenomenon-esque disasters throughout the world, our country (USA), has raised the bar on how we fearful we should be. Yes, how frightful we should be…of NOTHING. Just a few years ago, you would have thought our country was protected by Mars Candy Company for the way the genius administration of George W. Bush implemented a colored coded terrorist threat level system. AKA the DUMBEST FUCKING INSURANCE POLICY ANYBODY COULD HAVE ASKED FOR. I can understand that system for the weather, how slow the trains in the city are running, what STD a girl has based on what color the condom turns, even the scores on a test I find repulsive, The SAT. But noooooooo! We are America, and we must go Crayola on their asses and come up with a chart that shows just how scared we are; other countries looking in surely won’t recognize that I’m sure. It’s only a matter of time before they figure out that, holy shit, yellow means “we’re so scared we may piss ourselves, blue means we ain’t afraid of you, orange means we it may be hot outside, watch out for danger somewhere around the ozone layer. Then you have the Big Kahuna of them all, RED, and red simply means “We have pissed someone off, and shit is about to get real!” With all of that said, since the system was implemented in 2002 after the horrendous 9/11 attacks not a damn thing has happened, but the threat level has continued to remain at orange until the fizzing out of the juvenile system in 2011. Yet, many Americans are still afraid. I suppose it’s the thought that we were told we should fear the unknown based on what a color always read that determined just how safe each and every one of us was, or is, or will be, or could be.

I would like to make this perfectly clear to any and everybody reading this post right now, and make sure that you understand what is going to be said, no matter if we are made of steel, anything can happen to any one of us just as much as the next person. Our next blink could be our last and a simple blind date could turn into the occurrence of a night that kills a little over a dozen and wounds plenty. With that off my chest, let me delve into the shooting that occurred in Colorado about a week and a half ago at the Aurora Theater. I ironically started working at a movie theater the exact week after this incident had occurred, I honestly thought nothing of it. I had honestly forgot about the shooting and moved on with my life. During the week the shooting happened, all I was hearing about was about how people (Americans) were going to stop going to the movies because of something that happened in a place that already has a history of gun violence and wacko’s running around bored with money and guns, which is also light-years away from most of them, unless you lived out west in a state that borders Colorado.

Fear, funny how one act of carelessness, ignorance, and selfishness stirs an entire country upside down; even if only for a few days or weeks at a time, the effect is felt like the burn after a shot of hard liquor. Everybody is gratified and stunned at first glance, but when we start to feel the slightest bit of discomfort we wish to totally take ourselves off of the invisible path that we no longer wish to walk. When 9/11 people wanted to stop shopping to local convenience stores and using flying as a mode of travel all due to fear. When the DC Sniper was around, which is the only way I am able to empathize with those who chose to say no to the movies the rest of that weekend, people did not want their kids in school or outside, nor did people want to go out to do anything such as pump gas or even go to work. That was scary because it directly affected the people of the area, and those two maniacs decided to take a brief road trip down the Atlantic Coast and kill a few more innocent victims along the way. Those three weeks were a nightmare that none of us really knew when we were going to wake up, those guys could have been right outside of our windows while we were sleep awaiting their next moment to kill and we wouldn’t have known. Just as we never really know, with anything. A guy flips out and decides to kill a person, or group of people. Shit happens. A paranoid racist decides that a kid is in the wrong neighborhood. Shit happens. A girl goes on spring break in the Caribbean and never returns home alive. Shit happens. Syria. Shit happens. You catching a flat tire after just having a brand new set of wheels put on. Shit happens. The Bush Adminstration. Shit happens. Rosie O’Donnell being born a woman instead of a man. Shit happens. Michael, Amy, and Whitney drop dead. Shit happens. Shit can and will happen in any moment and at any place in the world, even right where you stand. The fear is what can and will drive you, if you let it, to the point of quitting living your life as it was meant to be lived. Or the fear will drive you to rise above it and live your life in a more safe, aware, and appreciative manner than ever before.

In America, fear is a business model like no other; scare them first, get them to buy product to suppress fear. Only for momentary satisfaction, of course, because they need the consumer to continuously come back. We are all consumers of fear, whether it is in what we drive, to our security system in our homes, to where we choose to spend our time and money, down to education, because we all fear what life is like without knowledge right? Do not let the occurrences of some sick individuals in society ruin how you live your life and go about seeking happiness. At any given time, anything can happen, so why not let life happen and put a halt to fear consuming you.

I've Seen It, Still Not Afraid of Clowns.

Last summer I wasn't afraid of The "Rapture"...it is now 2012, and they're saying that the world is suppose to end. I am not and was not afraid of either of these occurrences, so why would I ever fear another human being, especially one from the area in which I'm from. I grew up off Minnesota Avenue in DC until I was about 8 or 9, then I moved to Silver Spring in a funny little neighborhood called Great Hope. People in this area take Silver Spring lightly because it's apart of Montgomery County, but this specific neighborhood, wasn't tough at all, but it had enough edge and personality to shape what is most of my personality today. I never had any huge fights or been in any real trouble, probably because of all of the bad examples of what happened to the youth in the area who engaged in such activity, but I never feared anybody from around my way or even Mayfair, which is still, and was then a lot tougher. Today, I am 22 years young, and I am seeing the same shit with a different perspective and an entirely different attitude. I was on the Metro Rail the other day, when I saw these three young dudes get on the train. They were loud, obnoxious, rude, and of course they were immature. Never mind the fact that they were probably those kind of dudes who would label themselves a "original" in their Twitter Bio's or claim a hood in which they are not from at all. One thing I will say I absolutely despise about some of the youth in the DMV is the way the clothes are worn, and how EVERYBODY who thinks they're fashion savvy all look the exact same. It's like a fucking militia of trolls on the bus or trains some days on my rides back home from work. I saw a lot of the tourist and evening commuters begin to clutch tightly onto their book bags or purses, with the mindset that one of these NIGGAS were about to do something really stupid and rob them or make a huge scene out of nothing, but they only continued to make go-go beats on their chests and play fights while yelling out random bursts of broken DMV slang. i think I heard the phrase "AYE MOE!" About 45 times in a matter of five minutes from these dudes. While I'm looking at the passengers on the train and these fools disrupting my ride, I begin to think to myself, "why in the fuck are people afraid of them?" I certainly knew I wasn't. It's not even the fact of the matter that I'm use to seeing shit like this on a daily basis, or the fact that I probably outweigh all of those skinny lil fuckers by 20-30 pounds at least, but I digress. Writing this now, I think I finally have an answer, I am simply not afraid of anyone, especially these young ratchet niggas who feel that it is their civic duty to annoy people for the sake of having a good time, nuh uh, that ain't me. The actions, the fashion, the side-show that comes along with all of the fuckery involved. I have seen plenty of shit that i should have feared or should have been smart to avoid, but I refuse to be afraid of any of these clowns in this area. I can't even tell who's real or fake in this area anymore as far as proving who's tough. In the DMV, the burn outs and unks are more threatening than any of these "thugs" around here.

After Great Hope, my family and I moved to Prince George's County after spending a very tough summer in DC with my grandmother, and then we made our way to a place that I would have a fearful and curious respect for, Largo High School. It was Largo High School that taught me that none of the people or most of the people in the PG area who claim to be "hard" or tough really aren't about that life to begin with. A lot of the people in Largo claiming that they were from a hood were really some music video inspired suburban thugs who had both parents, a big house, along with a two-car garage and a dog named Cornelius. I must admit that I was culture-shocked when I first got there. The day my mom and I pulled up into this school, I thought I was going to prison! The main entrance had no windows! The classrooms had no windows!Then, I got a better glance at the building, and there were windows in the classrooms after all, they were just incredibly small, so still, NO WINDOWS! We walked into the school and the first thing I see besides the stuffed lion, which is probably still there and overly decayed and old, was a girl cursing out an adult who I later found out was an administrator. I could not believe my eyes. Montgomery County had either spoiled me, or I was just not prepared to even imagine such a place. The lobby smelled like Pine-Sol and pee, and there was not a sign of school spirit around. We went into the guidance counselor's office and got my schedule and my first day date, luckily hurricane Isabel was around the corner so I got an extra week to sit at our new house and sit on my ass. A week after the storm, it was time for school...oh joy, oh bliss. My first day, I saw one fight, and that was in the locker room, and it was about some dumb-ass neighborhood beef between Forestville and Largo, rival towns, but suburban nonetheless. I had experienced minimal neighborhood beef in Silver Spring, since the only time there was a "neighborhood beef" in my middle school or around my way was if two people from different neighborhoods ended up not liking each other based on an incident or something like that, no one ever fought or disliked a person based on where they lived or came from; we understood that school was the place for much foolishness, but never for something as ignorant as violence over nothing.

Over the next three and a half years, I would witness many fights, people getting jumped; I even got into scuffles myself. Some dumb fucking punk tried to rob me when I capitalized on selling CD's in school, I use to make a killing to, so I see where the hate came from, but he damn sure knew not to fuck with me anymore. I didn't care how big or tough this dude looked, I knew I was going to walk away fine and with every dollar I had earned. He wasn't getting shit from me, or breaking me down for that matter. From DC, to Montgomery County, to PG County in Largo, I learned many lessons about what should be feared, what should be laughed at, and where lines should be drawn. I'm not an advocate for violence, but if someone threatens you or could possibly bring danger to you, you have the right to stand your ground (no Zimmerman) and kick their ass. Leave those knives and guns at home and in the kitchen. Deliver and ass-whooping, or take one, because the whole killing each other to settle petty differences trend needs to end ASAP! But I digress, after my years in PG County schools, living in the area, and getting out often seeing what the city beholds I have learned that these barks are only as loud of the weed and the bites from these mutts. I fear no man, especially not in this area, the DMV. People here spend too much time putting on a fake ass facade instead of actually dedicating their time and energy to something that matters and can sustain them throughout life. I have seen It all, and I know for sure that I am not afraid of the clowns here.

Middle Fingers to Society

Dear Society, I hate you. Not as far as having to live in the many realms in which you exist, but the people that occupy you that I, too have to live with. Hypocrites, bigots, racists, irresponsible assholes reside in worlds of their own and claim that they are only acting on what you have been known to do. This past week, a movie theater was shot up (I hate to sound insensitive about the matter, no matter if it was one life or a hundred lives, someone ran into a movie theater and shot it up.), and Penn State went through hell for something that a very sick, disgusting, and pathetic individual chose to do. Both cases are very sad in how they have affected the families of the victims, but I found it relatively peculiar how in each case our SOCIETY chose to make it about the race, occupation, and location of the shooter in Colorado.

Or how about ESPN and it's very "credible" and "unbiased' analysts decided to make the children of molestation and rape seem irrelevant once the university had been punished? It was sad to see how society had more sympathy for Joe Paterno's statue coming down, even though he was probably more than knowledgeable of the actions against those children or was a participant himself alongside assistant coach Jerry Sandusky.Where are your morals? Where is your decency? Where has the logic behind a good heart gone in this damned place we call "society"? Does anyone have any sense left to understand the issue at hand instead of the politics behind it? Or is society so hung up on the whole "what's in it for me?" mentality still?

When Obamacare got upheld in court a few weeks ago, I think I was at my wicks end with this entire damn country and people altogether. I understand the political aspect of it all, but I will never understand why people were so against, or are against a bill that provides some sort of help for people who do not have. It's all greed I tell ya, keep the wealthy can remain rich and healthy, while the poor and middle class remain sick and unhealthy so they can die off quicker so the world can be controlled and maintained by rich folks...I suppose. I think a huge part of Obamacare getting so much dislike is the simple fact that our President, Barack Obama is a black man who exudes nothing but confidence and enthusiasm in his policies. I am not a %100 percent supporter of this man, but he has done many things in his first term that has served society with the greater good. Think about it, how often to you hear society refer to him as President Obama? Instead they call him Barack, they call him Obama, never Mr. President, or more appropriate, President Obama. But, society did just fine with Bush in office, would have done better with McCain? And, I’m sure we'll do light years better with the Klansman himself, Mitt Romney, as our president? This man doesn't even want to reveal his own taxes and other information, what makes you think he won't conceal anything more drastic than that once in office? Sure our economy sucks; it's always sucked, given how much money we had to spend on per day on an unofficial war that some idiot with his daddy's money decided to start out of pure fear and stereotypes. Obama isn’t perfect, but neither are the ones before him, but I digress. Society I have grown to hate the level of mediocrity so many people are okay with attaining and labeling it as something they've wanted their whole lives. I hate how many kids are still having kids. I hate how young ladies have the mouth foul bodies and mouths and think that that shit is cute. I hate how young men still have to be told to remove their hats, articulate, speak with respect, pull up their pants, and have to constantly be reminded to take care of responsibility. I hate how the media twists words and our weak-minded society is gullible enough to base every word out of their mouths on something they either saw or heard on TV, but still gossip and hearsay is stigmatized? Since when are overly expensive shoes and clothes worth getting shot over? What happened to unity? What happened to people doing for themselves? What happened to community? I lived two doors down from an arms-dealer and serial killer, and had no clue until I saw the guy on Dateline ABC and my house was in one of the frames as my neighbor of whom I had never heard articulate was being interviewed. Know your neighbors folks, it is a very simplistic idea, but has the greatest results and is terribly beneficial in regards to you and your families safety, trust me. Why is it okay for people to be married and remarried, now, at least two to three times before they find the ONE? What ever happened to the institution of marriage? That's the original form of unity that society has abandoned and left for dead. We live in the child support/paper parent era. Baby mothers and baby fathers? What about husband and wives? Mothers and fathers? Are their any of those around who actually wait till marriage, not to have sex because that shipped sailed with the Titanic and you see how far that got, but until they are ready and responsible enough to conceive and raise a child or children? I hate to seem older than I am, but I miss back in the day when people actually saw being pregnancy as a beautiful time in a couple's lives. Now, all pregnancy is, at least what I have observed, is a burden and cause for insecurity, hell, and a free ticket to The Maury Show. I'm not even going to ask what happened to entertainment. I don't know if I'm watching American Idol rejects, hicks on reality TV, or high thoughts brought to life by movie moguls who are bored with their millions. It’s obvious to see that people don't even bother reading anymore, look at how shitty, basic, and non-creative motion pictures have gotten. Books open up the imagination to create new things, conforming and settling for tasteless and simple "art" has closed society's imagination and ability to create new things. That's probably why people can't let go of prior decades. NEWS FLASH! The 80's and 90's are over! I can appreciate the culture of those time periods, but people need to seriously get over the past and get with the present and try to create something our generation can say was OUR THING and that nobody ever did that before we did it. Instead, we pride ourselves on the achievements of celebrities on social sites, the high STD rate, the fact that the older we get our country's intellectual side plummets, and of course we all pride ourselves on how many people give a damn what we think, say, or do right? I miss when society was something that people were against instead of so quick to join. I guess society beat the person out of you and turned you into a machine and completely took away the ability to create, feel, think, and do for self. I'm still and will always be against the ways that society has set aside for us to follow. Until society can ask themselves the questions I asked above and answer them through its actions and through change, I have both my middle fingers up to the sky and whichever way society is facing. Fuck You, Sincerely, Those who have not conformed.

Chivalry Ain't Dead!

A guy does her wrong in a relationship, chivalry is dead. Rappers calling females bitches on the radio, chivalry is dead. Some women want to be treated like princesses, but carry themselves like hoes, yet somehow, chivalry is dead because no self-respecting man would ever put up with such a woman, or so you would assume. I will be the first to admit that I can totally understand and see why women would use the all too familiar and cliche phrase "chivalry is dead", but I am also intrigued by this phrase to instead argue that chivalry IS NOT DEAD, but on the contrary, society has given up in the standards department. It's far too easy and lazy for anyone to write off an entire race, gender, religion, or place just because they've had a bad experience, or heard of a bad experience from someone they know. In today's society, I will admit, times are not like they use to be. Men in public places usually don't even think twice to offer their seat up to a woman, let alone, a woman standing their child or children looking absolutely tired and drained from a hard days work and motherhood. Men do still hold doors open, at their discretion, or if the woman is attractive enough to have the door held for. As a male, I will admit I have sometimes fallen victim to this; not so much deciding whether I'll hold the door open or not, but how quickly I will get myself to that door and hold it for someone I think is pretty or attractive enough to receive such prompt and expeditious civil service. The whole throwing a coat or jacket over a puddle sentiment is dead and over for, and you can pretty much forget about men standing up when a woman enters the room as symbols of courtesy and respect. Even though all of these long-forgotten ways of chivalrous men have pretty much fled society, many men, including myself, still practice and live the lifestyle of a chivalrous man, and for the women out there who have given up on men because they truly believe in their hearts that "chivalry is dead" I suggest you stop being lazy, shallow, and childish and open your eyes up and broaden your horizons in regards to the men you choose to pursue. The one thing I've noticed my generation doing a lot more than others is "settling" and putting up with things that they know are no good for them, but they continue to cling onto something that in no way, shape, or form benefits them.

And this is based on the area in which I'm living, but I see a lot of girls settling with guys who appear one way, but live and act a whole different way. In the DMV, I do not know where the fuck the cycle started and where the bullshit ends, but I see a lot of gorgeous and beautiful girls "put up" with these dudes who either look like very very feminine women, or look the part of a rapper who never made it. Most of these couples are young, dumb, and full of shit, but that is no reason for the treatment that a lot of these young girls endure. i have a little sister and it scares me shitless everyday thinking how she too could be blinded by appearance and fall for the wrong dude and then "settle" with that mans bullshit. I can't hound her and make sure whoever she dates meets my standards and has my approval, but let's face it, I can only show what my standards are through my actions in how I treat the women in my family, the women I choose to date, and how I speak and treat women overall. Where I'm from, we call that leading by example...and that's part of the problem. A lot of the girls in my area say that chivalry is dead because they've never seen it practice properly by their big brothers or by their fathers, if they're even present in their lives for that matter. I see all day and everyday online, dudes want respect for being chivalrous but can't even display the ultimate form of the word by taking care of their own child or children. I don't want to go too far off the deep end, but this is where it all starts, the household. There are just not enough positive, structured, and chivalrous males in the household or community anymore for the young people to see as an example on how to treat a woman right. Our generation must be under the impression that what they hear in these whack radio songs or see on these watered-down television shows is how to actually talk to and treat people. I do think that a lot of women are hard on guys for not "fitting their type", when they don't even know what the hell their type is in the first place. The problem is, when people do see or meet someone who possesses all of the necessary and genuine qualities of someone worth investing time in, they flee as fast as they can back to what was all too familiar and all too bad bad for them in the first place, and that's where the cycle completes. Though chivalry isn't what it once was when our grandparents were courting each other, does not mean that chivalry does not exist in society as a whole. There are plenty of courteous, decent, focused, and respectable men out there who are waiting and dying on the right woman to give them a fair shot based off their actions...and looks as well; we live in a shallow society after all, but that's a whole different topic of discussion. The simple traits of decency that we seek in a significant other are very possible if we can learn to get ourselves out of our routines that only hinder us from growing within.