Oh Spring is here! Spring is here! Spring is here! I'm not talking about that damn day that is marked on the calendar in March that says "Spring begins today" when it was fucking thirty degrees below Jesus outside, but the actual feeling that comes along with the season that defines what Spring really is. The weather, the change of the wardrobes, the greenery making its return to the atmosphere...that is the Spring that I am talking about! I left out the temperature however (I know I said weather, but that isn't necessarily the same thing), I just love the temperature! Great Springtime temperature brings many great things...actually that is the reason for the season once we are all done with the damn rain from April that is suppose to bring May flowers that I could most definitely do without because I am allergic! The temperature brings a lack of clothes, lack of care, but sadly it also forces people to lack in their thought process and make them total assholes and idiots. I will never fully be able to comprehend why when the good weather rolls around, the fools of the earth transpire and the crime rate skyrockets! It is like these people plant their ignorance, stupidity, and foolishness underground in the early parts of Fall and once the warm weather comes back around their same old dumb ass ways of thinking sprout from the ground and find a way right back into their minds. Just last week, I was on Twitter and everyone and their mother was talking about going to the zoo or the word "zoo" was fused into each one of their tweets, I looked a little closer and dug a little deeper only to discover that everyone was tweeting about the zoo because there had been a stabbing from some idiotic group of teens at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. Are we fucking serious?! The National Zoo is FREE people! FREE! But then again that just goes to prove my theory about how people do not know how to act around anything that is FREE! For the past couple springs and summers the DMV (DC, Maryland, and Virginia) area has been one of the worst places to be as far as crime is concerned. Apparently, we just LOVE tearing shit up, killing each other, and ruining fun for tourists who slightly inflate our areas income as a way to enjoy the awesome weather that our area is blessed with from time to time. Stabbing at the zoo, it sounds like a joke but it is a very sad topic to discuss given their were probably plenty of people there who were looking to have a great time on a Monday afternoon. The animals were probably more than confused as to who should have really been locked up and put in a cage as people were forced to evacuate the zoo and pretty much stampeded trough the zoo to an exit knocking over concession stands and even strollers with children in them. What probably shocked me most is how some of the witnesses and patrons at the zoo acted once the news crews got there. From what I heard and read in the papers and online is that a female news anchor was harassed and ridiculed as she was trying to do her job and get a little bit of information about what had occurred that day at the zoo, but the coonery continued. There is nothing cool about acting a fool on camera to show the world that their negative stereotypes about young black people are in fact correct. In the midst of all this madness, the manager of the 7-Eleven across the street from the zoo was attacked and robbed as well. He spoke out and aired his frustration about how he is faced with the same issue every year on the same day, African-American Family Day. Fucking shame. If this is how people are going to act with the heat just beginning to rise, imagine what lies ahead when Summer comes along and scorches the area.(Kinda hard to optimistic huh?) I'm good and damn sure that people's brains do not literally bake and melt and get scrambled when the heat increases, or does it? It is like people leave their common sense, reasonable logic, and smarts at the gates of seasons change. (I would know I worked at Disney, home of the idiots!) Oh yea people please do not forget that just because it is okay to show a little more skin does not mean that you have to show ALL OF IT! We are not trying to see all of that, I promise you. I saw a girl the other day with more ridges in her cellulite ridden ass than a bag of ripple UTZ BBQ chips, disgusting! And ladies please do not think that showing a little more ass and boob is the key to keeping a guy around to build a substantial, lasting, and meaning relationship. Us dudes love Spring Flings and Summer fun as a substitute for an actual relationship. Trust me, there are a million girls doing and wearing the same things that you are in the name of the season; don't sell yourself short. But once again, like always, I digress; I just think that summer flings are the longest form of a one-night stand ever. But for the remainder of the season and throughout Summer let's increase the peace as the heat rises and not the crime rate. Let's keep our cool rather than lose it, and let's create memories rather than witness nitemares. Springtime is here!
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