Monday, July 19, 2010

I Clearly Asked For...

I consider myself a pretty tolerable guy. I have put up with the God-awful love stories of both High School Musical (all three of them) and the Twilight movies, but I remember the time I finally reached my breaking point, and there was almost no coming back from that bullshit. Like you have had to have been kidding me! Our evening was going just fine before you decided to come over and interrupt my lovely evening with a beautiful young lady with your fucking question of rhetoric. Let me begin my story where it all started at. It was a Saturday night and I smelt better than a wad of money that had just bathed in Old Spice, well I technically did bathe in Red Zone that night, but I digress. I hopped on the Metro to go meet this beautiful young lady that I had not seen in years, so you can only imagine that I was uberly nervous. I like the word uberly, don't judge me dammit! I got to the station, I believe it was Downtown Silver Spring and we planned to go see a movie. Of course, like always, I was EARLY. I have a pet peeve with anyone being late for anything, it really bothers me; if you say you're going to be somewhere at 8:45pm don't show up at 9pm thinking "oh its just a few minutes..." No that's 15 fucking minutes of potentially good conversation we just missed out on! Or maybe we're late for the movie now! And so what if "we just missed the previews!" I love the previews! It's quite sad actually because nowadays the movie previews are better than the actual movie itself. Luckily for me, my date...or whatever you want to call her was on time. I don't really re-call who I was with that night, all I can remember is that she looked average, but when she smiled I got nervous. We hugged, I kissed her on the cheek, and we talked our asses off until we reached the theater. Yes the whole, KISS ON THE CHEEK thing sounds juvenile, but truth be told we were only in 10th grade and I hadn't seen her since 8th that was BIG DEAL to me back then. We go to the movie, which was pretty cool...I've seen so many movies since then I can honestly only remember a handful...a handful actually worth remembering for that matter. So during the movie, she suggested that we go and get something to eat after the movie at some foreign restaurant. Just a side note, when or if you ever have the opportunity to go see my amazing little hometown of Silver Spring, MD, and you are downtown be very cautious about where you decide to eat. There are tons of foreign and exotic food places to eat right off Colesville road, but not all of them are worth a damn thing! We go to this hole-in-the-wall looking fuckery of a restaurant, and being that this was a date and I had some kind of consideration I went into this place with optimism, but even more skepticism. The host was this incredibly fat Asian man who tried talking like Black dude...whatever that is...and the place smelled like fish. They did not specialize in the department of seafood, and even though I don't eat seafood, I was always taught that seafood is NEVER suppose to smell like fish. That goes the same for females. Excuse the crude humor, but it's the truth, nobody wants to go deep sea diving and get seaweed caught in their net. We go sit down and our waiter had the most jangly looking teeth I had ever seen in my life at that point. Braces?! No! this guy needed a fucking fence with a pit bull in the yard to go around his chompers! I almost felt uncomfortable ordering because I knew once he spoke I was going to burst out laughing. As soon as he asked my date for her food, I DIED! I played it off by making it seem like I was laughing at something else or another couple in the restaurant; so I was cool. The waiter looked at me with those LIONSTIGERS&BEARS set of teeth in his mouth and asked what would I like to drink, my response was simply...a ROOT BEER please. Ladies and gentlemen this is where my evening fell apart and I lost a huge piece of my mind. This fucker replied "No, but we have Dr. Pepper instead..." I did NOT ask for fucking Dr. Pepper! There is NOTHING similar bewteen Root beer and Dr. Pepper! If I wanted Dr. Pepper I would have asked for some damn Dr. Pepper! I do think you all understand how much it gets under my skin when somebody offers you something that is NOTHING like the other! That's like saying "No Foster, we don't have a dog, but you can feel free to buy a hamster." Like seriously?! I have nothing personal against Dr. Pepper, it's a great drink if you like soda and 23 unidentifiable flavors, but I was not in my Dr. Pepper drinking mood. I was feeling cool with a pretty girl, and I had just saw a somewhat cool movie. So what better way to end a good date than with a root beer? That's storybook enough for me, it doesn't take too much to make me happy. You should have seen the look on my dates face when I made the face I made when I was violated by this snaggle-tooth bastard who offered me a Goddamn Dr. Pepper in place of the Almighty beverage of a root beer! I looked as if somebody had tried to rape my mind. The waiter felt even worse because he saw the look on my face and he knew he had screwed up. So after a few LONG seconds of stares and tension, I became a big kid and ordered a lemonade instead and looked at my date with a look that said "can you believe this shit?!" It was quite hilarious actually, she kinda chewed me out for a bit about how I was possibly going to snap on our waiter and how she knew I was laughing at his teeth. I asked her how'd she know I was laughing at his teeth, she said because she was laughing on the inside too, but unlike me she had GREAT self control. If that were the case I would like for her explain all of her actions in the movies. The lemonade wasn't half bad by the way. But to this day, if anybody offers me a fuckin Dr. Pepper in place of a root beer I am liable to SNAP! Barq's, A&W, Mugg, or IBC...doesn't matter root beer is always good with me. It's my fucking favorite!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Troublesome Texting. Save Your Thumbs. (My Insight)

My supervisor asked me to write this piece for work to possibly be published in the paper...I was kind of already familiar with the subject of what texting does to the upper body or at least how it can play negatively on it because I had to present a speech on it in my 2nd year of college, but oh well I got smarter and more sharp in those two years so here you go guys. My first article published for my blog. Enjoy...and please excuse that obscence picture up top. Just a visual of what is highly unlikely but very possible if you allow tyourself to get that attached.

In the world of Blackberry’s, iPhone’s, and Android phones equipped with QWERTY style keypads for creating and responding to text messages, instant messaging (IM), and emails there are many positive and negative effects that come along with these great technological advancements.
Sending text messages, emails, and IM’s is quite convenient from a consumer’s stand-point. Most phone carriers offer affordable and reasonable plans for text messaging that can be equated into any cellular plan. For an additional fee, which can also be quite reasonable, consumers can purchase special internet or data plans. Most data service and internet plans are usually required if a consumer plans to purchase a Smartphone or PDA device.
In the United States this year, there are at least 265 million people who own cell phones, 65 million of these people own text and web enabled phones, and 75 million text messages are sent in the United States per month; opposed to the 18 billion sent per month in 2006. With this many consumers taking advantage of texting, this means more wear and tear to the thumbs, which are primarily used to type on the QWERTY style keyboard and text using standard phones. Healthcare physicians have created a term known as “Blackberry Thumb” which is a condition that refers to the overuse of the thumbs which eventually causes strain and tension to the thumbs. Alan Hedge, PhD, director of the human factors and ergonomics research group at Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y, says, “The thumb is not a very dexterous part of the hand, it is really designed as a stabilizer for pinch gripping with a finger. That is why you only have two of them, not eight. It is the fingers that have dexterity, not the thumb.” (WebMD) Blackberry Thumb is also associated with Repetitive Stress Injury (RSI). RSI comes from the overuse if typing, playing musical instruments, playing sports, and writing. RSI can lead to intense pain in the upper body such as the hands and arm tissues, tendons, and nerves. Healthcare professionals are comparing RSI to Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
Because of the growing rates of text messaging each year, the United States is witnessing a sky-rocketing rate in arthritis and other joint amongst America’s youth. Half of teens in the United States that text send a minimum of 50 texts per day, or 1,500 texts in one month. Once again, all of this usage is causing a great deal of damage to the dexterity in the thumbs.
Though the physical side effects of text messaging are costly and quite stressful, nothing is more frightening than the one art that text messaging is ruining for society as a whole, which is the art of face-to-face communication or voice-communication. Today’s society is becoming so obsessed and familiarized with text messages, IM’s ,and emails that having a simple conversation with someone in public or over the telephone has become a difficult task. There is no substitute for being able to hear or see or hear and see the expressions that are created when holding an actual verbal conversation. Sure, a smiley face icon expresses these emotions comically, but a smiley face is only an artificially generated expression that could never compare to the creation of an actual smile upon someone’s face that was possibly having a horrible day until a small conversation brought them happiness. At the end of the day, text messaging is an impersonal act that handicaps verbal communication. As text messaging increases in popularity the trend of phone calls decreases.
Suggesting that consumers stop sending text messages, IM’s, and emails via cell phone would be asinine and hypocritical, but to suggest possibly turning the cellular device off for at least an hour of the day and find an alternative such as reading a book, going for a short walk, or watching a television show without would not be unreasonable at all. Taking a break from your cellular device may be one of the healthiest and most thoughtful ideas a consumer has done in a long time.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Facebook F**kery ehh?

I love the Internet and the endless possibilities of what each site beholds. When I was in high school, or at the end of high school, I finally had enough curiosity built up to go out and create a MySpace; three or four years later depending on who you are the shit basically died around 2008 0r 2009. I'll admit both of my accounts are still very much available for anyone to go check out, but they have not been activated in months. I honestly get depressed looking at MySpace was such a great social-site that got so many people in trouble, yet got people so much play. Anyways, while I had an active MySpace account, my step-sister introduced me to another sight that I thought was absolutely phenomenal and captivating; this site was Facebook. I had never seen anything like it...and me being a junior in high school, the shit blew my mind! I loved how secretive the site was, you had to actually get invited from someone in you network in order to even create an account for free. It was like a secret society; nowadays anybody and I do mean fucking anybody with an email address is capable of opening up an account. Facebook use to be primarily for older high school kids and college students, that shit is out the window and splattered all over the parking lot! However I digress, there were only about 21 juniors in my class that were active on Facebook, but luckily my friend Tavy from my old high school in Silver Spring (Springbrook) sent me an invite to Facebook and that is how I began Facebooking it up! Like MySpace, I loved how I got to reconnect with people I had not seen since middle school or freshman year of high school. I also caught up with friends who I hadn't had any kind of contact with in soooo long because they did not want to deal with the drama of having a MySpace account. Honestly, Facebook was a safe haven for a lot of people. Not everybody was into designing a background, creating HTML codes, or looking for people who did not even go by their real names. The reunion was so amazing to me back then, now its pretty cool to see some people but not all of those fuckers. I was actually pretty lost when MySpace demised because I knew I was not going to spend half as much time on Facebook as I did on MySpace. Where else was I going to promote my crazy ass music or talk to random ass people after hours? Because Facebook is so limited as to what you can do for fun, I had only begun to use Facebook for uploading pictures and posting little shit here and there, but MySpace had my music and some other important shit on it. I try my best to stay away from all the dumb ass Apps that Facebook now has, what the fuck is a is probably the dumbest thing I have ever seen played online besides...fuck it. Farmville is the dumbest shit Facebook offers its users to play. Facebook wasn't necessarily the best for promoting music unless you created a fucking "fan page" for yourself which I find amazingly conceited and self-absorbed, but fuck it I gave it a try...didn't work. Nowadays I use Facebook to keep up with all my friends that I have met at parties, through other friends, or through the Disney College Program (God Bless that program, I met some of the most amazing people in my life on that program! I love you all very much all 100+ of you crazy fuckers!) Speaking of Disney, I also met a lot of people who are international students (Ahh Sofi!), and calling them would be a beotch and not all of them have web cams to do Skype or Oovoo so Facebook kind of has me on a leash when it comes to communicating with them. I have only recently gotten super fucking annoyed with Facebook when I created my Twitter account (@Fostersproblem)...I'm just going to say this...Twitter is the coolest, most simple social-networking site to ever emerge online. There aren't a bunch of picture albums, apps, tagging, relationship status', drama, birthdays, and retarded event invites! Like seriously! What really fucks me up with the picture albums are usually the girls more than guys, but the guys are not exempt either with their "thug" posing pictures and loads of allowance spread out all over their fucking bunk bed with a middle finger up and a caption that reads "MOB (Money Over Bitches)" yea fucking right! But it is as soon as I see this I delete these fucking people...that's the amazing thing about the internet, you really don't have to look at what you don't want to see; the "remove friend" option and my index finger have become the best of friends! The girls pictures are a bit different, much of it is eye candy for me I'll admit, but why is there a fucking song quote underneath a majority of the damn pictures?! Can't you just tell us what the fuck you are doing or what was on your mind at the time you took the picture?! or better yet tell us where the fuck you took the picture, because we know you didn't take that shit in these parts! And the pregnant girls are probably THE FUCKING WORST ONES! Not all of them of course, because I've had and had a few friends that were pregnant and posted pretty nice pictures of their pregnancy and their child a few days or weeks after their birth. Now, for the ones that do all the opposite shit are the ones that bother me the most! I remember there was a girl who was literally almost about to SHIT her baby in the picture in a goddamn club picture bent over talking some "I make your nigga leave you..." what nigga you made leave they girlfriend for you? You oblong looking fucker?! It appears that alot of girls tend to use their pregnancy for attention or their belly as an accessory...and they attract all the wrong kind, because under that girl's picture was not one comment that said anything to the extent of "you look good" or "how far along are you?". The comments looked more like "girl what are you doin'?" and "go put some clothes on!" I gave a small round of applause when I saw these comments. Last thing about the pregnant girls on Facebook...please DO NOT take a picture on your fucking mobile phone as soon as your kid pops out and post it online! This isn't just for Facebook...this is for all sites dammit! Last thing I want to see in my news feed when I sign on is a kid covered in placenta juice and blood to get my day started off the right way. Since I just mentioned comments, let's talk about that outrageous load of fuckery that pops up underneath someone's relationship status or status period. People are so fucking desperate for attention and romance via internet that they will do or say anything to someone to get the smallest compliment or reply back. For example, a beautiful girl I know finally broke up with this dude. Of course to make it known she published her status as "single"...not soon after her update were a bunch of thumbs-up for the "likes" of her new status. Underneath the thumbs up were comments from various guys asking her out on a date, for a phone number, or a quick fuck even. The audacity of them, but luckily in the world of Facebook fuckery there are pretty decent and classy people who don't feed into nonsense like that, so she ignored it. I hate how when you comment on anything or "like" anything that you get notifications from others who "liked" or commented on the same thing. This is uberly annoying! I do not care what everyone else had to say about whatever, just let me post my shit and let that be the end of it. It may seem as if I hate Facebook and find it absolutely repulsive...for the most part I do, but its how I keep in touch with very special people who I can't access so easily...fucking leash! The last things I'll rant on about are the FB IM (the devil) and those random ass friend requests that you'll get every now and then, fuck that! More like every day! Seriously! I would like to sign on one day and have a fucking friend request from someone I have actually seen, spoken to or partied with. I guess I already added majority of the people I know, so to see another request from them I have to wait on a blue moon? I got a request the other day from this girl who had like 300+ mutual friends...I sent a small message asking how I did I know her and she replied back "I don't know, I saw that we had alot of mutual friends, so I figured why not?!" This is exactly why child predators and murders are so common online! It is because of weird shit like that! I don't give a damn if we have every single friend in common down to my mama! If I don't know you, you are not getting added to my list...I already have enough motherfuckers I need to delete anyway, I just have to find the time to do it. I hate having 1,500 plus people on my list knowing that I only physically know about 1,000 of em in reality. The Facebook IM issue I think is a universal nuisance that most will agree with me on. There is nothing more annoying that uploading a 200 picture photo album and then having that one random ass person you have ZERO INTEREST in talking to randomly hit you up saying "what's good?" How about my fucking photo album you dipshit?! You just failed my progress! But I think I have found a solution to this problem, since I love IM'ing and communication so fucking much I downloaded the new AOL Instant Messenger that allows Facebook users to have all their contacts synced into their AIM Buddy List, this works ideally for me because I can appear busy or offline and not a single person will know why...well they will now...way to go Foster! Anyways, I'm sure that I've committed a few crimes against Facebook etiquette before, and if I did I'm sorry but then again who gives a fuck it's just the Internet!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Thank You, Thank You Thank You,,,Far to Kind.

You fuckers really get a kick out of me writing about my pain and life experiences for comedic and entertaining purposes ehh? Well if that's the case, I would like to take time and thank you all for reading this insane shit. No, I'm nowhere near the end i still have lots of things to blog about, being that nature won;t let me be the same person that I was a day ago. I have yet to tell you all about the legendary room of 1304, what truly pisses me off about FaceBook, why Bob Marley changed my perception of music, and why the fuck I am so open. Anyways, i am super gone on these pills right now...just had a long shift at work...this 7 day work week is killing me...but of well you gotta work to live right? Okaym now seriously I am going to bed. Love you all for reading I appreciate it! Much much more to come!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Hello Forever??

So I've been working this government job for about 3 weeks now, and I can honestly say that I never ever saw myself having a job where I would wake up at six something in the morning, getting on the train with the other working class people who wear nice dress clothes, and fall asleep and miss their stop; but I am, just for the summer though. I would probably kill myself if I had to do this shit every morning for twenty plus years, or the rest of my life. It would feel like FOREVER! What was that word I just said? FOREVER? Yes! The word that gets the human race in a frenzy...FOREVER. After having dinner with an old friend about two weeks ago and hearing her briefly talk with a friend who worked at the restaurant we were eating at, I have come to the conclusion that everyone is obsessed or infatuated with the thoughts of "forever". Think about it, we want our lives, marriages, gold fish from the carnival, young relationships, and youth amongst a few things to last FOREVER. I stopped believing in forever after that Friday night her and I hung out, it was a bit odd because we were in the same spot in the city (DC) where my ex and I last hung out and had a romantic evening out on the town. (I kissed her on a bridge, felt like I was in a movie!) I was having a great time with my friend, who is also a previous girlfriend from almost three years ago, but all I could think about was HER. (I hate saying the word "Ex" sounds like a fucking disaster, she was a blessing.) My friend, who was mentioned in a previous blog was just getting out of a relationship with someone, so that evening was basically a 'fuck the bullshit let's just get back to happiness" night. Even though while we were hanging out and walking, it was so hard to not think about what she was up to, how she was, or what she was doing at the moment. She consumed almost my every thought that evening. I'm sure my friend could tell by my facial expression, because I could tell by hers that she was thinking the same about her ex. We were miserable yet appeased at the moment with each other's company. At the restaurant, my friend and her friend who was the hostess, had some small talk about their most previous relationships, and my friend said "I thought we would last forever." It was that statement that inspired me to write this piece. I'll admit, I believed this about almost every girlfriend I've ever had; even the shitty girlfriends got this thought from me poured into their glass of ego and stupidity. Why are we so afraid to let go and face the reality that there may possibly be something...or excuse me someone out there better than what you just had? I honestly still think that there is no one out there better than my last girlfriend, but I'll see what fate has in store for me. I honestly don't want to date for awhile, I think I've said this a few posts ago, but I can't help having consistent thoughts, you know? I actually had a dream about her last night and the first thing I did was rolled over and sent her a text message. I knew I wasn't going to get a response, but fuck it, it was worth a try right? She makes sleep a nitemare and a lovely dream for me. It is part of the reason I hate to sleep even when my body demands it. If I sleep I know I'll bump into her and wake up heart broken and lost, but seeing her is amazing in it's own. But anyways I digress again dammit! I find it amazing to hear people use the word "forever" to describe anything else besides diamonds and poverty. (I'm still very skeptical of the two.) The other day I heard someone say that they wanted their shoes to last forever even though they play basketball in them every day for moments at a time, I'll give the poor Nike's about a month before they're dump truck worthy. I'm pretty sure those poor bastards will be as beat as Rodney King was soon enough. I gave up on forever that Friday night because through my experiences and what I have witnessed I know that nothing is capable of lasting forever, no matter how amazing it appears to be. That is kind of why I'd rather be cremated when I die...who seriously wants to lie in a casket once they've passed on to rot and become fucking worm goodies? Not me that is for damn sure! Do me a favor and spread my ashes around the Tastee Diner in Downtown Silver Spring, I would love that...or my spirit would at least. Love doesn't last forever because the shit would have carried over through the past couple decades (1960's & 1970's) instead of fading away and leaving this generation with hate and malice for one another. It's funny because I heard Ringo Starr from The Beatles say on his birthday yesterday "there is more peace and love NOW than it was back in the 60's.) I find this statement very hard to believe, but Ringo is old and it was his birthday so my pass on that statement Will be his present. Thanks for Octopus's Garden! Money definitely does not last forever...ask MC Hammer. Relationships...go figure. Life is the one thing that trips me out. I do, but I don't life lasts forever. It's a pretty fucked up thought. I think that the life of your spirit will live on but not the body. So to those who believe in death you'll appear dead, and to those who believe in the afterlife you'll be alive. I hope that bullshit made sense, I'm almost shocked that I took time to clarify that nonsense...oh well. I'll say one thing though, if I did die today I know I can say I would have died unhappy, not because I didn't live long...who cares about that shit? It's about the quality of life not quantity. Not because I didn't have scares the shit out of me to imagine bringing up a kid in this corrupt and evil place called Earth. And definitely not because I died on bad terms with certain people. I would be unhappy at the lack of satisfaction...I hear about the wonders of life and the greatness of life for such a long time, but I have yet to see or feel what the fuck these looney's are talking about! Maybe my views will change one day in regards to this forever nonsense, we shall find out. I think that everyone is so focused on the ideas of forever that they lost focus of what today is and what today means.