Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Been Aware, Take Action.

For the past couple of weeks I have been having the most vivid and horrifying nightmares beyond imagination. In one dream I damn near ran around the world to get things needed to save my mother from dying, and I failed tremendously. Then last night, I had a nightmare about a movie theater that was racist and the motherfuckers only had 6 parking spots! And to top it all off my dog (Gracie) somehow got so hurt that the bottom part of her jaw came off. She was laying in the floor just crying because she was in such pain, and the only way to take her out of her misery was to put her to sleep. I know that doesn't seem too bad, but when you actually see and hear something (an animal) that you are THAT close to in pain it has a way of shaking you up when you snap out of the nightmare. I actually enjoy my nightmares, they provide my nighttime entertainment, but as of lately, I am not a fan of who my nightmares have been starring...people or things that I love. But! I do have a nightmare that is prevalent even when I am awake, this nightmare is one that the world has been plagued with for decades now...HIV/AIDS...the worst part of the nightmare is that people are STILL ignorant to this day about the virus! It got Wilt Chamberlain, buried Eazy-E, capped Magic Johnson, ruined Africa, and is now beginning to affect millions under the age of 25! But yet people still have that "oh it could never happen to me." mentality. Why? I don't know! I hear some of my friends, both male and female say, "Condoms take away from the pleasure" "she's on the pill." or my all time fucking favorite! "we both know our status so what's the big deal?" Oh I don't know dumb ass, how about the slight possibility of infidelity with someone who actually DOES have the virus, and if you do know your status which is always a huge bonus, how about preventing unwanted pregnancies?! Yea the other OTHER P word that isn't just talking about genitalia. People lay down with just about anyone these days not really giving a damn about that persons previous sexual record or how fertile they are! Okay Okay, I'm just kidding about the fertility thing who can really judge that?, but seriously I know and have plenty of friends who absolutely hate their BABY MAMA or BABY "FOVA" who they hardly know because it was just suppose to be "a quick hook-up" <<<------WE HAVE GOT TO DO BETTER THAN THIS PEOPLE! Grow up, slap a condom on, use lube if you have to, and do like BET said back when it was actually cool to watch and "WRAP IT UP!" or in my own words, "WRAP IT THE FUCK UP!" I love sex! I love it by the pound! I'll be happy when they start selling that shit in cans! I cannot sit up here and act like I never rode in the car without my seat belt on before, because I have...and that is exactly why I sit my ass up there in the doctor's office and my room nervous every time I take a blood test or scared at the thought that my little soldiers (sperm) could have possibly gotten somebody pregnant...and the last time I did it without a condom was THE LAST TIME!...well the last time I'm doing it without protection until marriage. I know my status... and as of October I'm HIV negative and proud! The thing about the virus that frightens me most is knowing that is something that you just can't take a shot to kill, take a shower to wash off, or apply cream to and it will disappear in a few days...that shit is everlasting until they find this so-called cure; you wake up and go to bed with it everyday...it becomes a part of your life...it changes your life.

I am one of the believers who think that they have found a cure years ago?...my theory on where it came from does not matter to me. I took a human sexuality class a year ago and the book said that some people figured that the HIV/AIDS virus was "God's punishment to the gays", "it was put here to discipline horny teenagers", and that "came from two white men in Africa" (who the fuck can spot two white men in Africa?!) All of those sound very ignorant and far-fetched if you ask me. It does not matter where it came from, all that matters is how we can protect ourselves from it now and how to get it out of here in the future. The virus does not discriminate at all, even though some tend to think otherwise. Look who it has taken, look who it has in its grasp now! I'm damn well sure that you do not want to be a victim of something so easy to prevent; it is not like it is airborne or anything. Condoms are everywhere...their like the Starbucks of sex! There are plenty of places offering tests for free! And I know how much people LOVE free shit in these hard economic times! They do free testing at colleges, clinics, hell do something positive with YouTube if you have to and put your Trey Songz or Nicki Minaj impersonation on hold and find out how to construct a "do it yourself HIV test" yea they have that shit on YouTube and Google (who powers my blog), how accurate is it? I have the slightest clue...I'm pretty sure it is not the best method to discover your status...I'm pretty sure people have actually scared themselves shitless or killed themselves after finding a positive result after doing those at home tests. I wrote this post in lieu of World AIDS Day which is tomorrow (December 1st). I don't believe that awareness for anything should be designated for a certain day or month, but be a year round acknowledgment, especially one pertaining to the HIV/AIDS virus...it's bad enough that Black folk get the shortest calendar month of the fucking year! Oh lord! I sound like a Black Panther Jehovah witness lunatic who has a way with words! I doubt I will wear any red to represent tomorrow, because I think shit like that is to be trendy and kinda takes away from the seriousness of what tomorrow really represents...who knows? I may end up with something red on tomorrow. In the mean time, if your in a college dorm I'm sure they have a big ass jar at the check in desk in the lobby that says "take as many as you need" and Costco sells them in bundles of like a thousand!...go get them and if you have extras because this month you have been striking out...share! Hell! I don't know, give them to the kids in your neighborhood...yea the middle schoolers are fucking like rabbits these days too, watch the news and you would be amazed! Oh yea don't forget the lube!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

My Mama's Tears.

They running like the stole something
Something from your heart, your soul,
Running wild, frantic, outta control
I know the pain you feel because your eyes transmit it to my heart
A problem here, bullshit there, I don't know where to start.
You telling me "son stay in school, don't give up you're too smart!"
But when you're on the phone yelling at those assholes I too want to fall apart.
Act a fool knock back a drink with some pills, but I chill.
You deserve better than the hand you were dealt.
One car for five people! Man fuck a seatbelt!
I been out the window!
Leaping to bring you greater things because I know you're working just as hard as anyone I know.
Still shit piles on like last years snow!
Rise like dough, shine like crystals.
To knock down the barrier of strife and struggle your my missile.
Daddy died, mama cried.
Mama kept at it, if the women in the neighborhood gossiping your mama LIED!
My blessing, my blueprint, my backbone, my beautiful
Mama, queen, goddess, any other nouns are not suitable.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

What's the Rush Again?

Twitter! Facebook! It all consumes me...Twitter more than Facebook of course...they should have had a movie about Twitter first dammit! Who the hell sat there and thought to themselves "hmm...I want people to be aware of every though and action that is taking place in my life via internet...but how can I do this?" Whoever this intelligent fucker was, they were brilliant in creating this awesome site, raise the roof! But what I have noticed from Twitter is that everybody has a different interpretation of love. Yes LOVE...AMOR...SARANG...MAHAL...AMOUR...ELSKE...or my favorite RAKASTAA! But it seems that everyone is in a rush to do things when it comes to romance! Not just dating, sex, or hanging out...but marriage which is really scary. People are so quick to label their boyfriend or girlfriend of 2 months or 2 weeks as their "husband" or "wife" whoa whoa whoa! When the fuck did simple pet names become synonyms for the the establishment of marriage! Marriage, is becoming the new hell, let alone a joke! No wonder so many people would rather stay in long term relationships rather than making a legal transaction of vows and rings. Most marriages these days are unfortunately ending in divorce or are filled with physical and verbal forms domestic violence and the all too infamous form of betrayal...cheating. I think most people are in love with the idea of marriage...thank your television ladies and gentlemen! Thank the idiot box for promoting the most false images of what marriage is these days. Sure marriage on television looks all lovey dovey, but even Marge and Homer know how to talk and work their problems out, they don't assume that the situation will just blow over and disappear all of a sudden. I am not against the idea of marriage by any means, I do eventually want a wife and family of my own one day...but I damn sure do not want anything of the sort right now while I am in school working on being prepared for the real-world, or this damn economy that is making school a safe haven from the real-world. Thank God I now have the desire to pick up a double major next semester. I am currently a TV production major, and to compliment it I will double-major in theater! Yes I like to be in front of the camera, but I digress. I had a conversation with a young girl not too long ago, troubled most of her life, and she told me that she was going to have this dudes baby to keep him around and possibly to have a family with him. Damn shame this is the mentality of so many other young girls in the country who feel they have to have a child young to keep a guy around for love and affection. With the way my species (Men) are going about things these days, having a baby is almost like spraying repellent around yourself. I've sat in many youth awareness groups and the topic of men dating women with children arose, and most of the boys in the group reacted like lunatics shouting out "aww hell no!" Me personally, it doesn't matter...it is not like the girl I'm interested in is asking me to raise her kid or be the father, but you must understand that that child's father could possibly be around her when it comes time to spend time with the child, and whether you like it or not, that is the way it is. Can you handle the presence of another man who has shared romance with the girl your interested in is the issue...are you that mature and secure? I know I'm not that is why I try not to get involved with women with kids...even though I'll admit I have the biggest crush on a girl who just had a kid...what can I say? She's gorgeous...sue me! You can't help who you like...kids or not...sometimes I think it's unfair for people write-off people who are young with kids. You see it all the fucking time! But anyways...back to the point...we are far too young to be worried about relationships and MARRIAGE while we are all trying to better ourselves for the future and change the world...the relationship possibilities will be there forever...so what's the rush? For those in relationships right now, madly in love, at a young age....I wish you all the best and hope it lasts...but keep your eyes on the prize and trust me it isn't necessarily the person you call your significant other.

Monday, November 8, 2010

You ever Have the Feeling Like You're Being Robbed?

"I ain't scared of you muthafuckas!...I'm tired of the shit!" Words spoken by the late GREAT Bernie Mac on Def Comedy Jam sometime ago in the 1990's. It sucks that a comedian of his caliber is now deceased and that our kids kids will never know how influential and awesome his comedy and content was. I went home this past Friday to see my family and relax for the weekend, like I usually do...or try to do. I have been living in and out of a suitcase for the past month or so around campus (Towson University) at friends dorms and apartments. I just want them to know that I truly appreciate them so much for giving me a place to stay. As soon as I get my money together for my tags and my car repairs, I want to treat them to something nice...or better yet get them all something for Christmas...they deserve it for being that damn generous...and Christmas season is right around the corner. So, when I was home I decided to go to the city and go for a nice long walk to relax my mind for a bit; things have been so hectic at home lately since my sister got put out and sent to Virginia, and honestly I cannot stand going home at times...it is always some sort of issue waiting for me as soon as I drop my bags in the fourer. But this past Friday, I did not have to wait til I got home for my problems to begin. The problem I faced was a universal problem felt by thousands throughout the area actually, the MetroRail system.

I do not know where to start with these assholes! They are like a drug! Everybody knows they are no good whatsoever, but everybody keeps running back to them more and more because without it we would lose our damn minds!...Oh I know...I'll start with the trip back home to Largo! I waited at the Metro Center stop for damn near 30 minutes for a train to pull into the fucking station! on a Friday! After that the train moved all of five stops maybe and then I end up at Eastern Market, stuck for forty-five minutes! Why?! Because these assholes ultimately decided to start doing track work for Saturday on a Friday night! Who does that?! To make matters worse, they made all of us customers go above ground and catch a fucking shuttle to another location! Now I'm not afraid of being in bad neighborhoods...but there is a line that needs to be drawn when you take a couple hundred aggitated, frustrated, and tired individuals and drop them off on Benning Road! Benning Road isn't the toughest, by far isn't that threatening, but the combination was one for disaster! For some reason the Metro always wants to run slower or shut down stations ON WEEKENDS when it's patrons utilize it the most to head to malls or the city for events. The Metro's excuse for the delays and shut down stations? Track maintenance. The Metro has been doing track maintenance for almost five years now, when does the fuckery end?! The rails are not broken, they are not bound by dead bodies, no trains have crashed within the last year...what is the fucking maintenance for?! Now for some reason, Metro has ironically increased their fares with the decrease in customer satisfaction and inconvenience...now ain't that a beotch?! I remember when I use to cost all of $1.35 minimum to ride the Metro...in less than six years the minimum has increased to $1.95...now sixty cents may not seem like much, but imagine you were a tourist with a family (kids included) that sixty hike per fare card can be a bit costly when you plan on going to various destinations for a trip, or if you are a local who just wants to mall hop on a Saturday. It's just unfair to everybody! I won't even begin to speak about the differences in on-peak and off peak fares! I'm not going to go into my grandparents world and talk about how "back in my day things were so much cheaper..." because I am far too young to be talking like that...but I will say that I understand what my grandparents mean when they say "shit just cost too damn much these days!" I don't know if you have been following the news, but a 65 year old karate teacher and military veteran in Brooklyn, NY ran for governor of New York in last weeks elections with the campaign slogan of "The Rent is Too Damn High"...the guy literally looked like Colonel Sanders (aka the KFC Man) Did he win the election? Hell no! But he did get 24,000+ votes from the people who agreed with his notions that the rent in NYC is in fact "Too damn High!" Just like the fares for the Metro! Have they even selected a president or head of Metro yet? Last time I heard they were forming a fucking "selection committee" to basically come in and recruit a person who is qualified for the job...where the hell is Monster.com? where the hell is Craiglist?! Where the hell is the hiring manager?! I had a government job over the summer, and they paid for my fare on the Metro...but I must say as a taxpayer and a person who knows other tax payers whose tax dollars go to funding the Metro, I feel shitty knowing that our money goes toward nothing positive! I swear to God this Purple Line they are now constructing better have God embedded in the tracks or I am going to begin a personal boycott of this Metro system! I would love to encourage others to begin considering a boycott of their own, but I'm not trying to inspire a revolt against a system that damn near everyone in the working-class utilizes in the DMV area. I just wish that the Metro would stop raising the prices and lowering their grade of service!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

I Won't Kill It For Fun, But a Cause.

So apparently Lil Wayne is out of jail...I'm happy to see another entertainer set free. Hopefully Lil Wayne doesn't lapse back into the system like is ATL buddy T.I. Wow! For some king T.I. is quite the jackass and quite the stereotypical negro; As soon as you get out of prison your ass is going right back! It's a fucking shame actually, all that money and not a damn common sense brain cell to save his life! I have actually grown to like Lil Wayne even more while he was locked up (Ironically)...after bullshitting watching countless YouTube videos of the guy giving interviews and recording in the studio, it is safe to say that I respect his work habit and character. I also respect the guys dedication to being a good father, you don't hear of too many rappers doing that these days...even though they say it a million times throughout their music..I don't believe em! Actions speak louder than words. I do not know how many kids he has exactly, but the last time I checked it was three. But who knows nowadays with these entertainers...they have as many kids out there as they do cars or "hoes on their dick". Lil Wayne getting out of the slammer has shed great light on what people have been doing with their free time though. The infamous "Free Weezy" campaign is still in full effect for some reason, I guess people just don't like letting go. Once he gets out people probably will want him to go right back in to keep up the campaign and have use for those God-awful t-shirts that they wasted all that money on. People via twitter have hash tagged the idea of what Lil Wayne's first Tweet will be by creating the trending topics "#WeezysFirstTweetFromJail".

But that is the way of Twitter these days, at least people are finally getting back to trending things rather than worrying about followers and listing and tweet counts. Another bittersweet part of Weezy's release from jail has been the goddamn Fail Whale on Twitter! It seems that anytime a momentous occasion takes place in the world or pop-culture, Twitter always goes over capacity (this would never happen on Facebook or the late great MySpace...excuse my sarcasm) because so many people are tweeting or giving their insight or two cents on whatever the situation may be. Twitter usually goes over capacity during sporting events, TV show premieres, or when something in the movie or music industry goes on. Notice how Twitter didn't go over -capacity on election day or damn near the entire month of October for Breast Cancer Awareness Month...or during the WNBA Finals if you want to get comical with it. That speaks great tones about our generations priorities as far as current events are concerned.I personally HATE THAT FUCKING WHALE! The fat bastard! Somebody want to explain how the fuck this whale is being held up by birds with strings in their beaks?! It's all fuckery to me! What pisses me off even more is how people who suck at tweeting are part of the capacity problem! Thanks Twitter...for nothing! I have decided to go mobile for the day to do my tweeting until all the Lil Wayne hype dies down. In the mean time, I am going to go sharpen my tools and go spear that fat fucking whale and Twitpic it dammit!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Clearwater Excursions. (1304 Memoir)

In life, I think when things don't go as planned, it creates the most grand opportunity for something awesome to take place. In February of 2009, I was introduced to 5 of the most awesome people to ever come into my life. I'm going to start with my roommate first, Ross was from Dallas, hated the Cowboys, and kept me updated with the music. It was pretty funny finding out Ross was going to be my roommate because while we were in line for our background checks, he was the loudest most sociable fucker in the room! I mean he spoke to every person who looked at him! Luckily, me and him got along just fine throughout The Program. Oh the program I am speaking of is the Disney College Program...probably one of those few blessings in my life that I was not expecting by any means. Then their was the cocky and too cool Galwyn or Galweezy as I called him. Galwyn was a running back from Kentucky who actually played REAL COLLEGE FOOTBALL (Western Kentucky University)...none of that semi-pro bullshit. Then you had Damon, from Pittsburgh, who made you laugh every time he opened up his mouth or gave his point of view simply because of the way he would say shit. I came into the program with those three guys, on that rainy February day in Orlando, FL. Once we got to the apartment we were all assigned to, we walk in the apartment and see this white dude sitting at the dining room table with headphones on and sweater vest singing Anthony Hamilton sounding like a Black dude. I was a bit weirded out and amazed at the same time because he sang those Anthony Hamilton songs damn near perfect! His name was Jim, he was Chicago...and he could be a bit of a shopaholic at times, and hot head as well. Jim got up from the dining room table, went in his room, and announced "hey! They're here man!" and through the doorway comes another white dude wearing swim trunks with the look of exhaustion and misery on his face.(I emphasize "white dude" because this was my first time living away from home, and my very first time rooming with people of a different color, it was new to me." This was Ryan, he was from Upstate New York and there was never a dull moment with this guy. A simple trip to the grocery store or outlet mall was damn near an X-Games event; dude was too fucking cool and new EVERYBODY! And of course you have me, the guy who hopped of the plane still intoxicated from the previous weekends "going away party" festivities. His name was Foster, and he was always on joke time. Together we were simply 1304...which is, if you haven't guessed by now, or are too fucking slow...our apartment number (Tattoo pending). We were pretty much like brothers, in a dysfunctional sense...we were all from different upbringings, different social environments, and very very different as far as personalities go, but we made it work somehow and ended up making it through 6 months of craziness without killing each other. Now Jim, Galwyn, and I were basically thick as thieves (we called ourselves "The Rat Pack" I was Dean Martin, Galwyn was Sammy Davis Jr. and Jim was Frank Sinatra), anything we did was usually done together. Ross & Damon would usually join but their work schedules were either too busy or they just had other shit to do, or they just did not want to hang with us. There were sometimes we had little disagreements that turned to very tense and huge arguments, but that was bound to happen when you group six of the most insane people together for six months. I remember one day, Galwyn and Jim came to me with the idea for us to go to Clearwater Beach for a day and just see the sites and get away from Disney for a bit. When I say the Disney life can be a bit overwhelming I am not understating it, seeing that damn mouse some days can be nerve-wrecking. The Orlando/Kissimmee area is just FLOODED with Disney paraphernalia everywhere you go! I was on-board with the whole notion of getting away for at least a day, it was just which day which was the issue. I was only off on Tuesdays for class, and Wednesdays just because that is how my schedule was built. It was a Thursday night, and I was just getting back to 1304, I was miserable and tired as hell! Jim, Galwyn, and Ryan damn near attacked me as soon as I got in the door and insisted that we hit the road that night and head to Clearwater, get a room, stay a night, and hang out the whole day. I was not going for it at all...I had to work the next day and I did not want to call out AGAIN! I had called out at least once or twice every month just because Jim & Galwyn were always up to something awesome while I was working. But peer pressure is a motherfucker!...Especially when it came from Jim, Galwyn, and myself, we are so awesome at convincing people to go against their will. Oh I have countless stories and examples that I will save for another post. I ran in my room and grabbed shit that I thought I need for the trip, I have always been a person that OVER PACKS for small trips...I ended up packing a duffel bag with like five different outfits and 3 pairs of shoes. I walked out of the room with this big ass bag full of shit and got clowned immediately! I went back and just packed a book bag of shit instead. We got in the truck (her name was Jenny...Forrest Gump inspired...that was our movie!) and thought of how the hell all of us were going to fit in the truck. It was Chevy Blazer...and literally..the cool thing about it was that it had no back windshield over the trunk. Jenny was the most reliable piece of anything we had at 1304, Galwyn was to awesome for giving us rides in that damn truck. Anywhere we needed to go, he took us, and hardly asked for gas money. Jenny had her maintenance issues at times but shit she was a soldier and lasted all 6 months we were down there nonetheless. We had to go to another apartment complex to pick up Galwyn's co-workers and Jim, Ryan, and my newly acquired friends Egypt and Kayla from Vista Way. Down at Disney if you lived at Vista Way, you were almost guaranteed a party at least once or twice a week. Vista way had actually been listed in Playboy Magazine as being one of the easiest places to get laid in America. Egypt was Brooklyn born but lived in South Carolina and was spoiled rotten! Kayla was from Wisconsin and loved her steaks rare...which I always found strange as hell, we always went back and forth on the issue. We all packed up inside of that truck and headed right across the street to the gas station. Luckily the gas station had a 7-Eleven attached to it. So I decided to get my ass up and go get some food. Jim looked at me like I was crazy because I was going to mess up how everyone had gotten comfortable. It was obvious that me and Jim were being assholes towards each other and we were both irritable at the time. I went in 7-Eleven, came back pissed off because that sorry ass 7-Eleven didn't have shit that I wanted to eat! I got in the truck and went the hell to sleep with my iPod playing! Ryan was laying in the bed of the trunk surrounded by our bags n stuff, which was totally illegal...but hey that is how 1304 gets down! About two or three hours later, I wake up and see Galwyn, Jim, and Ryan standing outside of the truck looking confused and frustrated as hell...I also see flashing lights...and my first thought was "oh shit! we got pulled over because Ryan was in the trunk!" All of a sudden I see Galwyn drop some sort of tool from his hand and walk away frustrated. I got out to see what's going on, and then Jim tells me that the tire had come loose while they were driving, he said that the truck had started to rattle while we were making our way down the highway. It turns out, that the tire was only hanging on by ONE lug nut and was close to falling off while we were driving. I do not even want to begin to think about what could have happened if that last little lug nut would have come off, but thank God that it didn't. Being 1304, we made comedy of the situation and took a shitload of pictures and did crazy shit while we were alongside the shoulder. I remember Ryan actually decided to change his pants while we were on the shoulder. We waited for the AAA people to show up with the tow truck, before they showed up Jim & I ran across this 8 lane highway to go ask the night time construction crew if they were willing to help us or lend us some tools. They gave us some tools, but they didn't work. They came over to help us once they were done laying the pavement, and that didn't help either. We were pretty much fucked until AAA got there. When the AAA guy got there, it did not help us knowing that only two people could ride with the guy to the nearest mechanic, but we had two-hundred twenty-five miles for spare. Luckily there was a mechanic about a quarter-mile behind us. We told Egypt and Kayla to ride in the tow-truck (because that is what gentlemen do) and we would meet them there since it was only a short walk. We crossed the highway again, and walked up this steep ass hill, then we started walking through this creepy ass neighborhood that was reminiscent of old slave land where they traditionally lynched people, I'm just saying...the Confederate flags hanging in the windows of some of the homes were pretty convincing and creepy. Ryan decided to scare us shitless by secretly picking up a small rock and heaving it at a stop sign making all of us run like we had never run before. Galwyn was carrying the GPS so we knew where we were going exactly. We reached our destination, and it was nothing like we expected. Th mechanic was self-employed, so his work was done out of his home...and he did not open for another 3 whole hours. I don't know what it was, but waiting in that damn neighborhood until sunrise did not seem possible for my peace of mind. We talked it over with the girls and asked if they felt comfortable staying there...they sad "HELL NO!" to that notion. So we talked to the tow-truck driver and told him we wanted to go to Meineke to get the shit fixed...he told us the closest one was 8 miles away. We told him that we did not mind the walk at all, this was definitely desperation talking. He told us that it was going to be a LONG 8 MILES of walking. The tow-truck driver scratched his head, took a deep breath, and said "I'm not suppose to do this, but I wanna help you guys out. I'll tell ya what...get in the Blazer, keep your heads down, and I'll take you guys to Tampa to the Meineke."

We all looked at each other like we were little kids who finally made the height to ride the big kid roller coasters. Me, Jim, Galwyn, and Ryan hopped in that damn truck, ducked our heads and made our way to Tampa Bay to get the car fixed. It was the most bumpy ride ever! But it was an awesome experience. We were riding in a truck that was on a tow-truck! How many people do you know that can say they have done that?! We got to Meineke, dropped the truck off in the parking lot, and went across the street to one of the most cool looking McDonald's I had ever been too. We ate, we laughed and joked about what we had just been through, and took small naps inside of this McDonald's. When we woke up, we went to Meineke, played jokes on whoever fell asleep, got new Lug Nuts, and headed to Clearwater Beach where there were dolphins in the water and pelicans scooping up their food out of the water a few feet from where we were swimming. I had never had an experience like this in my life. After we were done at the beach, we went to a restaurant that caught all of our attention since it was based on our favorite movie at the time FORREST GUMP the restaurant was BubbaGump Shrimp Co. I felt so bad for Ryan and Kayla..their skin was damn near as red as the sauce they served with the shrimp. Jim was beginning to feel the burn as well, but not as bad as Kayla and Ryan were. Egypt and Galwyn were even beginning to feel their skin itch and I found this incredibly weird because I had never know of any brown-skinned or dark-skinned people to get sun burns. But, I guess there is a first time for everything as they say.The ride back to Orlando seemed like it took an eternity because everyone was so uncomfortable being sun burnt and all. I think I was the only one who wasn't really feeling anything. My skin felt dry, but not really burnt. We got home finally around, two in the morning and we were exhausted...Ross & Damon were in their rooms sleep. Jim and Ryan went to their rooms walking slowly as possible to prevent their skin from burning, and Galwyn passed out in his bed. I was on the couch watching TV and talking on the phone when I heard Jim & Ryan calling for me asking me to run to Walgreen's to buy them some day Aloe for their skin...they said I could buy whatever the hell I wanted out of the twenty dollars they had given me, as long as I made the trip for them...I went and got myself an Arizona out of the deal. I came back and Jim, Galwyn, and Ryan treated that Aloe like it was crack for the skin! The next couple of days we told this story like were were warriors of some sort who had just made an amazing voyage...to this day...this story is still one we love to tell to people around us and each other as well.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

It's Not That Hard. Simplicity.

Can I get an encore! do you want more?!...I swear Jay-Z's The Black Album was one of the best things to ever happen to Hip Hop, even though he fooled us all into thinking he really retired back in 2003. Oh well, the king is here to stay I suppose, even though it's so much speculation on his the best MC in modern day and OF ALL TIME! who cares?! I was on Twitter earlier today, like I am everyday, and I read a tweet from one of my most awesome followers (@theprettybitchh). She said "people think if they buy me things and take me to all these places that impresses me but I'm really into doing simple things like the zoo". When I read this I was just humbled because WE NEED MORE PEOPLE like this in society; people who appreciate the little, non-flashy, simplistic things in life. I was especially blown away because this goes to prove the point that people do not want much when it comes to dating and courtship. Nowadays, I hear too much fuckery about how dudes spend incredible amounts of money just to impress females or get a compliment. My grandfather would have my head! I wish I muthafuckin would buy a new outfit, an expensive dinner, and jewelry just to be paid a compliment or have an attempt at getting a smile out of a female. The problem is, people don't believe in themselves any more when it comes to the opposite sex, our generation has to speak through money instead of their own fucking mouths! It's a shame! I hear of guys serenading women in jewels and buying them these outrageously priced dinners just to have a shot at a little piece of ass! I'm pretty sure that the females that go on these dates are pressured as well, not all of them though, because there are in fact a shit load of gold diggers out there! I have heard from a few females friends that they feel as if they think that the guy expects something after dinner or the entire date to reward his incredible showing of this bank account or last pay check. Whatever it may be, most girls that I have spoken to said that the fancy dates and things are not going to get these guys anywhere but a pair of blue balls and a lowered bank account. They didn't say those words exactly, but that is what the fuck I drew from it. I'm not the one to brag but most of the dates I have been on have been simple dates like a long walk, swimming, dinner & a movie (classic, and the classics never die!), or do the group date thing (those are always fun and less tense) and not had a single complaint or left anyone dissatisfied. I remember I was on a double-date with one of my friends and he was sitting there trying his hardest to impress this girl he was interested in by taking her to Cheesecake Factory for a first date...now I'm gonna digress here for a bit, because Cheesecake Factory is not necessarily the ideal first date spot...it's more like a "we're in a relationship so I don't mind it let's celebrate" kinda place, not for first dates. But this jackass decides to challenge, almost dare his date to order the most expensive thing on the menu. He was pretty adamant about his approach too, he literally said, "You can order whatever you like on this menu, I don't care if it's the New York Strip Steak itself! Matter of fact, you can even order an appetizer if you like!" I'm sitting across the table looking at this fool wondering if he really knows what the hell he just did. He had just set the bar for what she is possibly going to expect on each date from this point on. Never mind the fact that the New York Strip is 27.99, and the appetizers start at damn near eight dollars and he works a part-time job! Being his friend, I could easily see the front that he was putting up, and how much he really believed that spending big money on dinner was going to be the big pay-off. I could also read his dates face, it was obvious to see that she took him for a fool who was willing to do anything for her attention and affection; she was also very disinterested in him, it was obvious. So after dinner we all piled in his car and headed home. Him and his date sat in the front and my date and I sat in the back. On the way home, I noticed that the ride was a bit longer than usual, but I did not give two shits...I was enjoying holding and talking to my date...she was too sweet. This idiot on the other hand was being the biggest creep ever! He had the Al Green playing all low in the background and making very weird, verbal sexual advances toward his date. We pulled up to her house first, and as he got out to open her door he gave me the thumbs up as if he were about to score a touchdown with her vagina or something. He walked her to her door, she opened the door, thanked him for the evening, and walked the fuck in the house! My date and I were in the car cracking up at what we had just witnessed. He walked back to the car and told us some dumb ass reason as to why she did not let him in her house. I think the story was :oh she was on her period and her mom said she can't have company this late." It was clearly 8p.m. Based on the events that had taken place beforehand it was obvious that she just wasn't interested in him and that he damn near scared her off by posing to be somebody he was not. The next stop was my dates house, I walked her to her door and got a kiss, and she went in. My friend is sitting in the car looking uberly mad for some reason...go figure right? I walk back to the car with the biggest grin on my face, almost in the form of a gloat, and asked him why he was so mad. He told me it was because he felt like a dumb ass for wasting all that money. I agreed with him, and told him everything that he did wrong on the date; I'm no Hitch or anything but I think I can understand and clearly see why he did not get far with her at all. I noticed that she had not once smiled him either, but you can't tell someone it's wrong when they are convinced that what they are doing is right. Point is, dating should be a fun, mutual, and tension-free environment where the only impressions should be coming from the eyes and the words being spoken, not the wallet or the location of the date. So for all the guys out there who think they need to be new this and that, I-gotta-buy-her-expensive-shit-in-order-for-her-to-like-me I would like to take this time out to tell you that you look like a jack ass! Peace to Red Foreman and Bob Barker!