Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Last summer I wasn't afraid of The "Rapture"...it is now 2012, and they're saying that the world is suppose to end. I am not and was not afraid of either of these occurrences, so why would I ever fear another human being, especially one from the area in which I'm from. I grew up off Minnesota Avenue in DC until I was about 8 or 9, then I moved to Silver Spring in a funny little neighborhood called Great Hope. People in this area take Silver Spring lightly because it's apart of Montgomery County, but this specific neighborhood, wasn't tough at all, but it had enough edge and personality to shape what is most of my personality today. I never had any huge fights or been in any real trouble, probably because of all of the bad examples of what happened to the youth in the area who engaged in such activity, but I never feared anybody from around my way or even Mayfair, which is still, and was then a lot tougher. Today, I am 22 years young, and I am seeing the same shit with a different perspective and an entirely different attitude. I was on the Metro Rail the other day, when I saw these three young dudes get on the train. They were loud, obnoxious, rude, and of course they were immature. Never mind the fact that they were probably those kind of dudes who would label themselves a "original" in their Twitter Bio's or claim a hood in which they are not from at all. One thing I will say I absolutely despise about some of the youth in the DMV is the way the clothes are worn, and how EVERYBODY who thinks they're fashion savvy all look the exact same. It's like a fucking militia of trolls on the bus or trains some days on my rides back home from work. I saw a lot of the tourist and evening commuters begin to clutch tightly onto their book bags or purses, with the mindset that one of these NIGGAS were about to do something really stupid and rob them or make a huge scene out of nothing, but they only continued to make go-go beats on their chests and play fights while yelling out random bursts of broken DMV slang. i think I heard the phrase "AYE MOE!" About 45 times in a matter of five minutes from these dudes. While I'm looking at the passengers on the train and these fools disrupting my ride, I begin to think to myself, "why in the fuck are people afraid of them?" I certainly knew I wasn't. It's not even the fact of the matter that I'm use to seeing shit like this on a daily basis, or the fact that I probably outweigh all of those skinny lil fuckers by 20-30 pounds at least, but I digress. Writing this now, I think I finally have an answer, I am simply not afraid of anyone, especially these young ratchet niggas who feel that it is their civic duty to annoy people for the sake of having a good time, nuh uh, that ain't me. The actions, the fashion, the side-show that comes along with all of the fuckery involved. I have seen plenty of shit that i should have feared or should have been smart to avoid, but I refuse to be afraid of any of these clowns in this area. I can't even tell who's real or fake in this area anymore as far as proving who's tough. In the DMV, the burn outs and unks are more threatening than any of these "thugs" around here.
Over the next three and a half years, I would witness many fights, people getting jumped; I even got into scuffles myself. Some dumb fucking punk tried to rob me when I capitalized on selling CD's in school, I use to make a killing to, so I see where the hate came from, but he damn sure knew not to fuck with me anymore. I didn't care how big or tough this dude looked, I knew I was going to walk away fine and with every dollar I had earned. He wasn't getting shit from me, or breaking me down for that matter. From DC, to Montgomery County, to PG County in Largo, I learned many lessons about what should be feared, what should be laughed at, and where lines should be drawn. I'm not an advocate for violence, but if someone threatens you or could possibly bring danger to you, you have the right to stand your ground (no Zimmerman) and kick their ass. Leave those knives and guns at home and in the kitchen. Deliver and ass-whooping, or take one, because the whole killing each other to settle petty differences trend needs to end ASAP! But I digress, after my years in PG County schools, living in the area, and getting out often seeing what the city beholds I have learned that these barks are only as loud of the weed and the bites from these mutts. I fear no man, especially not in this area, the DMV. People here spend too much time putting on a fake ass facade instead of actually dedicating their time and energy to something that matters and can sustain them throughout life. I have seen It all, and I know for sure that I am not afraid of the clowns here.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Dear Society, I hate you. Not as far as having to live in the many realms in which you exist, but the people that occupy you that I, too have to live with. Hypocrites, bigots, racists, irresponsible assholes reside in worlds of their own and claim that they are only acting on what you have been known to do. This past week, a movie theater was shot up (I hate to sound insensitive about the matter, no matter if it was one life or a hundred lives, someone ran into a movie theater and shot it up.), and Penn State went through hell for something that a very sick, disgusting, and pathetic individual chose to do. Both cases are very sad in how they have affected the families of the victims, but I found it relatively peculiar how in each case our SOCIETY chose to make it about the race, occupation, and location of the shooter in Colorado.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Monday, July 23, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Last week, those demons in the financial aid office hit me with the reality that I may not be able to return to school for the Fall, even after scoring a dream job at school which would take care of room and board, plus food. I felt all of the energy, enthusiasm, and charisma I had fall flat on the ground as I was brought to tears this morning by the reality that I won't be able to go back to school due to finance troubles. I didn't think I would ever see myself literally crying and falling to pieces over something like school. I had prepared myself mentally for what came this morning at the beginning of the summer, but it stings even worse once that reality you envisioned comes to life; and I thought that I was just going around the corner for coffee and a muffin. But back to the tears, I think I cried because this was the first time in a long time that I have been told that I cannot do something, it was also the first time something of this magnitude has been taken away from me in the blink of an eye. This morning I realized how for granted some may take education. I've seen the results of many people, (most of which are "friends" according to Facebook), they either fuck up on their journey back to school, get pregnant, get someone pregnant, and in some cases a lot have died. The tears I shed this morning did not last long after having already mentally preparing myself for the worst. No I have to find a way to make it back to Towson for Spring semester and put in more work than I have ever imagined myself doing at this point in my life. But maybe this is an awakening for me, maybe this will help me take life a bit more seriously so I can really get on the path to what I've been seeking. I'll tell you what. I don't care if I grow to become a poor man or a rich man, when I do have kids way down the line, they will have college savings accounts so they will never have to worry about taking out student loans with ridiculous interest rates or have to deal with the demons in the financial aid office who get pleasure out of making students lives a living fucking hell. The tears have been shed and life goes on, where from here? Only forward I hope, another setback would kill me and I'm not down for dying just yet. Amidst all of this morning time bullshit, still I rise, the tears have left a glossy, I-see-a-bright-future kinda polish in my eyes.