Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Chivalry Ain't Dead!

A guy does her wrong in a relationship, chivalry is dead. Rappers calling females bitches on the radio, chivalry is dead. Some women want to be treated like princesses, but carry themselves like hoes, yet somehow, chivalry is dead because no self-respecting man would ever put up with such a woman, or so you would assume. I will be the first to admit that I can totally understand and see why women would use the all too familiar and cliche phrase "chivalry is dead", but I am also intrigued by this phrase to instead argue that chivalry IS NOT DEAD, but on the contrary, society has given up in the standards department. It's far too easy and lazy for anyone to write off an entire race, gender, religion, or place just because they've had a bad experience, or heard of a bad experience from someone they know. In today's society, I will admit, times are not like they use to be. Men in public places usually don't even think twice to offer their seat up to a woman, let alone, a woman standing their child or children looking absolutely tired and drained from a hard days work and motherhood. Men do still hold doors open, at their discretion, or if the woman is attractive enough to have the door held for. As a male, I will admit I have sometimes fallen victim to this; not so much deciding whether I'll hold the door open or not, but how quickly I will get myself to that door and hold it for someone I think is pretty or attractive enough to receive such prompt and expeditious civil service. The whole throwing a coat or jacket over a puddle sentiment is dead and over for, and you can pretty much forget about men standing up when a woman enters the room as symbols of courtesy and respect. Even though all of these long-forgotten ways of chivalrous men have pretty much fled society, many men, including myself, still practice and live the lifestyle of a chivalrous man, and for the women out there who have given up on men because they truly believe in their hearts that "chivalry is dead" I suggest you stop being lazy, shallow, and childish and open your eyes up and broaden your horizons in regards to the men you choose to pursue. The one thing I've noticed my generation doing a lot more than others is "settling" and putting up with things that they know are no good for them, but they continue to cling onto something that in no way, shape, or form benefits them.
And this is based on the area in which I'm living, but I see a lot of girls settling with guys who appear one way, but live and act a whole different way. In the DMV, I do not know where the fuck the cycle started and where the bullshit ends, but I see a lot of gorgeous and beautiful girls "put up" with these dudes who either look like very very feminine women, or look the part of a rapper who never made it. Most of these couples are young, dumb, and full of shit, but that is no reason for the treatment that a lot of these young girls endure. i have a little sister and it scares me shitless everyday thinking how she too could be blinded by appearance and fall for the wrong dude and then "settle" with that mans bullshit. I can't hound her and make sure whoever she dates meets my standards and has my approval, but let's face it, I can only show what my standards are through my actions in how I treat the women in my family, the women I choose to date, and how I speak and treat women overall. Where I'm from, we call that leading by example...and that's part of the problem. A lot of the girls in my area say that chivalry is dead because they've never seen it practice properly by their big brothers or by their fathers, if they're even present in their lives for that matter. I see all day and everyday online, dudes want respect for being chivalrous but can't even display the ultimate form of the word by taking care of their own child or children. I don't want to go too far off the deep end, but this is where it all starts, the household. There are just not enough positive, structured, and chivalrous males in the household or community anymore for the young people to see as an example on how to treat a woman right. Our generation must be under the impression that what they hear in these whack radio songs or see on these watered-down television shows is how to actually talk to and treat people. I do think that a lot of women are hard on guys for not "fitting their type", when they don't even know what the hell their type is in the first place. The problem is, when people do see or meet someone who possesses all of the necessary and genuine qualities of someone worth investing time in, they flee as fast as they can back to what was all too familiar and all too bad bad for them in the first place, and that's where the cycle completes. Though chivalry isn't what it once was when our grandparents were courting each other, does not mean that chivalry does not exist in society as a whole. There are plenty of courteous, decent, focused, and respectable men out there who are waiting and dying on the right woman to give them a fair shot based off their actions...and looks as well; we live in a shallow society after all, but that's a whole different topic of discussion. The simple traits of decency that we seek in a significant other are very possible if we can learn to get ourselves out of our routines that only hinder us from growing within.

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