Alone.

It's when people ask you "are you okay?" knowing damn well you aren't but you say "no" knowing that you just did that person a favor concealing the deep, dark, and violent truth which they will not ever be able to handle. The truth's about ourselves that we tell to someone who thinks highest of us is the ultimate fear. Nobody who cares about you or loves you wants to hear about the monster you've created in your mind of yourself. We all feel a bit down and depressed at time, depression is the common cold of our conscience, there's just no escaping that reality. I hate the world we live in, that's probably the first thing that really blew out my flame. Just knowing that no matter where I go outside of these boring DMV walls, there will be another place where the people are just as boring, just as basic, just as ignorant, and just as evil as the ones I am dealing with now. There is nothing wrong with being afraid, absolutely nothing. Just don't let your fear define who you are and who you become. I'm just tired of being afraid of myself, fuck everybody else, I really am my own worst enemy when it comes to facing anything. I'm always at war with myself. Am I good enough, can I do it, will my dreams come true, can I ever compare to this and that? Insecure much? Who isn't? I think it is the biggest load of bullshit when people say that they have no insecurities, everyone is insecure to an extent. I do not know where I'm going with this, or where I'm going at all to be honest, all I know is that I have no choice but to move forward with each second, each minute, each hour, and each day until something says otherwise. I'm just tired of everything at this point and I am having the hardest time trying to figure out what is and what isn't important to me right now...

My Letter to Amy.

I know it had been almost four years since your last studio album was released and since you debuted in the United States, but I can honestly say that I am going to miss everything you ever did musically. You were truly one of the few truly talented and brilliant singers/songwriters left of my time...in my opinion one of the best ever. I was thrilled when I found out that you were launching Lioness Records and your first artist signed to the label was Dionne Bromfield, your Goddaughter. I was even excited to know that you were headed back to rehab to finally get yourself clean so that you could make more music. Even though, at times I was very selfish at the fact that you were going back into rehab simply knowing that that meant we (the fans) were going to have to wait even longer to hear new music from you, but the music that you created on the Frank and Back to Black album are so awesome that they are enough to last a lifetime, and health is far more important than anything. I hate how the media treated you when you were alive, but I hated them even more when you passed. The media is full of two-faced cunts that's for sure, and it is that reason that I am so happy to be in school studying the media business so I can come in and hopefully put a dent in it and change how they go about talking about troubled celebrities and PEOPLE. That is just not the way to treat a human being. You were TROUBLED, what they NEVER understood about you while you were alive is the fact that you were in fact troubled and were suffering from a disease. People do not understand that alcoholism is in fact a disease and not just taking one too many shots at a party every few weeks, but it is a lifestyle...an unfortunate one, but nonetheless an addiction, I've had enough victims of alcoholism in my life to understand it myself. When you died all of these beautiful pictures that I had to break my neck and spend hours to find are now all of a sudden all over internet. They are showing a full-figured, healthy, and their idea of "beautiful" you, when before all they could show was an out of control and sick person, this is unfortunately how too many people defined you. Your music is now TIMELESS, you are now one of those GREAT artists, you are now WORTHY of public attention now that you're dead, oh the irony of the media. You were always beautiful, your music has always been timeless, and you did not need all of that media attention to show how big of a star you were. I am still in a huge state of disbelief that you are no longer here to give us more of you, but it is also good to know that you no longer have to be here to struggle with the harsh criticism of the media and your addiction and complete assholes in general. I just hope that people let your soul rest in peace and learn how to treat not only celebrities such as yourself better, but people in general. We live in a sick sad world and the last thing we need is for people to bring other people down while at the same time trying to keep afloat in society.

Rest in Peace Amy.

Pointing the Finger.

People fake a lot of things, their sexual experiences, the way they act when they have a little alcohol or weed in their system, how smart they are, and RELIGION. I can't pass judgement on who is real or who is REALLY faking it, but what I can speak on is how people do and say certain things AGAINST religion to appear rebellious or cool. I can say that I know plenty of people who fake their disbelief in order to fit in with a certain group of people or to draw attention. They blatantly say things against holy scriptures and religious figures with uneducated thoughts and total ignorance on the subject of religion all because they feel that religion or believing is dumb. I hate when people have no validation or proof to their beliefs and can only back it by saying "because that shit is dumb." Grow up! If you are not going to like something at least know why it is you don't like something. I personally do not believe in religion simply because of how I have seen it separate families, friends, and nations more than any dollar, infidel, or tragedy could. I am all about peace, happiness, and freedom amongst human beings and I believe that religion is just the opposite. You do not need to be a rocket scientist to know that there has been more blood shed and war over religion more anything else in this sick world we live in. I am not knocking anybody who is religious and is proud of their faith and a strong believer in it. It is ignorant to try and break someone down for believing in something that they believe will better them as a person. This is for the ones who flat out disrespect or bash anything thing simply because they want to stand out and feel accepted somewhere in society simply because according to them "that shit is done". Have knowledge of something before you declare that you don't like it.

I Tried to Catch Em All...

Gotta catch'em all! Gotta catch'em all! POKEMON!!! In any story I plan to tell my grandchildren in the future about my childhood I would be an old fool for not dedicating at least an hour or two of story telling to Pokemon! When I was in the 4th grade in 1998 these creatures and this boy with a cool ass name popped up on my TV screen and I became hooked! There was nothing cooler than hearing these crazy sounding names coming from these little monsters that came out of these things they called Pokeballs! I will never forget when my mom got me my first set of trading cards. I got the starter pack that came with duplicates of like five Pokemon and a million energy cards! I never understood the purpose of energy cards, I mean I did, but I never used em; those or those little gem rocks that came with em. I will never forget my first ever card trade, uggh I was dumb as fuck! I traded my holographic Machamp card for a damn Onyx and a Jinx card! My mom almost killed me when she found out that I had gotten ripped off by two older guys in my neighborhood. Her and my Dad tracked em down and made them trade me my shit back. After that they had my friend come over and teach me the basic to trading and what certain symbols on the cards meant. In about a month or two I was the fucking man! I had every card I could want, with the exception of a few. I remember my Mom packing up me and my friends in our station wagon and taking us up to J&K (the card trading store) and we would buy packs of cards or trade up with the store owner. Times were so awesome back then. It was amazing how these cards taught us about unity and responsibility and to an extent we even got better at reading...I mean Pokemon was a cartoon, but when it came to playing and understanding the game, you had to READ. I remember the front of my house being our own makeshift version of a Pokemon Trainer's Gym, we would hook our Gameboy's up to each others and battle and trade Pokemon until we had to go indoors. We battled and traded in the hottest of Summer days to the most bitter and chilling days of winter, we went hard! I will never forget the time we setup a tournament to see who could fight Pokemon the best, I won a few matches, but I'm pretty sure I didn't win. I remember one kid, ironically the guy who taught me how to play the game, was getting frustrated beyond all reason because he could not hit any of my Pokemon because I made them all too fast. The student kicked the teachers ass, and it felt good! The Pokemon wave was great while it lasted. I do not know of any Pokemon after the original 151 (I know it was originally 150, but Mew WAS in the intro to the cartoon series) I didn't want to know of anything other than the originals, so that is where I left this awesome game...as a matter of fact, it was not just a game, it was a culture. A culture that I miss but will never forget, shit I just ordered a damn Gameboy Color and Pokemon Yellow Version from Amazon while I was typing up the nostalgically powered piece! You can say "I'm too old" to have one or whatever, I could care less. I just like older versions of what is considered fun...hell, I still have my cards too! Can't wait til I get my package!

The Escape Route

Hey Guys! Welcome the fuck back! As of yesterday if you were present in life or have any sense of time at all, you know that August has finally arrived after having 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays, & 5 Sundays (WOW!!!)And damn!!! this year is moving too fucking fast for me! 2011 feels like it just started! I'll be 22 in 3 months?! Wow! Pretty soon we'll be singing Auld Lang Syne again bringing in the New Year with all kinds of potency in our systems partying our asses off like it's 1999 again! These past few weeks have been a bit tough for me, but very educational at the same time. Work has been kicking my ass, I got my first day off in like 40 days on Saturday, and it was much needed; went down to Kings Dominion and fucked shit up! Over these past few weeks I have come to the conclusion that I need to get out of here...soon! I already talked it over with my Mom, my Brother, and a few of my closest friends. I have the greatest opportunity RIGHT NOW to explore the world and make myself who I want to be. My mom always said "God made the world for EVERYBODY to see." and I am part of everybody so that's exactly what the fuck I'm going to do. I'm an acting major so I'm def going to start abroad in California and study acting and theater writing there first. I know it's a long way away from home, but I can do it, and the people back home will survive without me...I'm sure. Then after California I plan to go to the UK and study writing and theater there as well. I know people are probably like "ooo big dreams..." or "that sounds easier said than done..." I don't believe that anything is easier said than done, if you can dream it you can achieve it, especially if you're willing to put in the work that is required for you to reach your dreams and goals. Nothing comes easy from doing nothing, but it comes a lot easier when you have actually built a foundation and worked on it. I told myself years ago that I indeed was going to be something and SOMEBODY with a career that I love so much that I cannot even tell it's a job. Your situation, after a certain age, is a result of your decisions that you've made. At the end of the day, if you don't want to be somewhere, or you want to change something about yourself or your situation you can indeed do it. i don't care where you're from, how much money you don't have, or how much support you DON'T have...you can always improve something. Things never happen instantly, well most things we want, but they can in fact happen. Better late than never, baby steps soon progress to giant leaps in success.

Who's Your Daddy?

From the time I concealed my first boner to this day, I will always and will forever be confused by girls these days, I hate our generation some day's...I really do. But can someone please tell me what the fuck is up with girls calling their boyfriends or guys they are talking to "daddy"?!...do not worry, I'll wait! To me, that shit is just whack and pathetic. I asked a few girls a while back why they do it, and one girl said this, which I found incredibly ridiculous and at the same time sensible, she said "girls call their boyfriends or other dudes daddy because every girl...or most want a man who reminds them of their father..." I can see why girls would want a man like their father, understood. Who wouldn't want someone who has taken care of them, respected them, and taught them about men? (still very weird and creepy) But explain the calling them that name during sex, sounds kinda incestuous to me. Now for the girls who call these BOYS "daddy" please do enlighten me? What the hell do you get out of calling a this dude by that name? You don't even call your OWN father that name. If you never had a father figure in your life, trust me, you will still understand a few things about a true FATHER...excuse me...in your case a daddy. A father would never run out on your when you needed it the most. A father would never go out and treat another girl like his daughter or find a replacement. Do you call him daddy because after he hits you he says "this is gonna hurt me more than it'll hurt you"? Is it because he got you pregnant and you call him daddy in hopes that this new title will be a motivator for him to possibly be in this unborn child's life? Do you call him daddy because that's what you hear in every damn song they play on the radio these days? Or do you call him daddy because calling him by his actual name is seen as disrespect and you don't want to face the consequences later? Don't worry, I'll give you plenty of time to go ahead and figure out why you call this grown up with child-like features "daddy". The shit is not attractive or cool by far. If anything, it makes you look pathetic, clingy, and foolish. Ladies, I'm not rights activist or anything of the sort, just a dude with a blog who hates seeing ANYBODY degrade themselves for someone or something that is worth nothing. Stop calling these guys "daddy" and instead call them by their proper names...I'm sure it won't be to embarrassing for them. And if you're dealing with someone who is super immature go ahead and go NY on them and call them "son". I wish a girl would call me daddy...she would instantly be considered a FOSTER CHILD...yea I made that up all by myself haha.

IMPULSE IS HERE!

Ladies and gentlemen it is a damn good Friday right now! Good weather, plenty of events going on in area this weekend such as Caribbean Fest and the National Capital BBQ Battle of DC, but nothing is more eventful than the a release of a friend and fellow MC CJ The Genesis! For all that read the blog and know my interests in music there is nothing I would like to share more than this dudes album...I would love for everyone to copy & paste the link below and go download the album IMPULSE and let your ears and mind wonder into a world they've never been before and witness a talent like no other! Here it is! IMPULSE! Enjoy it! Here's the link http://cjthegenesis.bandcamp.com/

Lockers and A Loser.

We all have those days that we will never forget. You may, as you grow older, forget some of the small details like: what you wore, where you sat, or what you ate that day, but you never forget what made that day known as THAT DAY. In my short life I have had many days that are unforgettable, both good and bad. That's life. But I will never forget my day of middle school. I went to school in Montgomery County till high school and the way they do it there is that you go to middle school after the fifth grade, not the sixth. I remember being in the fifth grade at an assembly where they had teachers from all the middle schools in the area come in and speak to our class about our decision as to which middle school we would choose, and then SHE came in. This beautiful specimen of a woman, long hair, smooth brown skin, and the most bomb legs ever! She was coincidentally, Ms. Wright (ain't that some shit?!)the 6th grade English teacher of Francis Scott Key Middle School. Traditionally, all the kids from my elementary school would choose "Key" to be their middle school after fifth grade even though it was the furthest one away from our elementary school, and the furthest one away from my neighborhood, but no school was TOO FAR when you had that good old cheese bus transportation to get you back and forth to school. I chose Key, and this is where the story begins...oh yea that fine piece of woman Ms. Wright also became my first period English teacher after all. I could not have been more proud to have chosen Key Middle as my middle school to attend; all the homeys from around the way (who I looked up to) had graduated from Key or were still there, one of my homeys actually got held back by HIS OWN DAMN PARENTS! Who in the merciful fuck holds their kid back from graduating into high school from middle school after they have legitimately passed all of their classes?! I guess some parents are socially dumb and ignorant in regards to their kids future these days huh? The first day of middle school was probably one of the most fearful, exciting, and embarrassing days of my young life. Walking to the bus stop, I was so nervous; shaking all over and I think I even had a cold sweat (I had and still have have terrible anxiety issues). I got down to the bus stop and I see all of my friends from elementary school and instantly I felt a great comfortable feeling come over me, I was also a bit fucking annoyed because I swore that it was people there that swore up and down all summer that they were going to Key's rival middle school...Banneker (aka Bammaker as we called it.)I also saw my friends who where in the 7th and 8th grade there too and they had so much fun scaring the shit out of me before the bus even pulled up talking about how the 8th graders love kicking the living shit out of the 6th graders asses and stuff em into lockers and trashcans and jump em and stuff like that. It took every fiber in my body for me not to run back home like a little bitch and beg my parents to home school me, but in the instance of these crazy thoughts running through my mind the bus decided to pull up. This big yellow concoction pulls up and the doors open and I see the bus driver, and luckily it is my friends from the neighborhood's mom...Ms. Debbie, and if it was anything I knew about Ms. Debbie is that Ms. Debbie ain't take NO SHIT at all! She knew all of our mama's and where we lived, so we could fuck around on her job if we wanted and it was guaranteed that it would be some sort of hell to pay sooner or later or in that very moment. I had the utmost respect for Ms. Debbie simply because she possessed the power that made the toughest of tough kids on the bus look like wimps simply by getting on that microphone, calling their name and telling them to move to the front of the bus. It was brilliant! So humiliating and humbling at the same time! Getting on the bus was a nitemare in it's own; so many faces, so many empty seats, but so many rules as to where you sat! Being that I was new and I knew that the bus was filled primarily with eighth graders, I sat my little sixth grade ass down in the very front of the bus! Eye to eye with the windshield wipers and everything! Ms. Debbie had the radio rocking with the Donnie Simpson Show and Nelly's Country Grammar came on and the whole bus sang it like it was "The Wheels on the Bus" or something. The bus ride wasn't too long, but it seemed like forever when you're going to a building that you have never been to (I skipped orientation because I was too afraid to walk through the doors even with my Mom, Dad, and Auntie by my side. I just wasn't ready). But today I had nobody with me to walk through those doors with, not even my own friends after we got through those doors because once we got through those doors it was onto homeroom and none of my friends had the last names that began with S-W...so I was fucked! We pull up to the school and I immediately take notice of how much bigger the kids are...I also tried to looking for familiar faces, but there were simply too many people to pick out certain faces in the crowd...I did however spot my girlfriend at the time which was a relief.(I'll talk about her later). I got off the bus and there was no turning back...and based on where I chose to sit, I was the first person off the bus. I walked where everyone else was walking and ended up in the cafeteria and they were lining up EVERYBODY by last name and by grade and of course I was amazed by all of the new and beautiful faces of the girls who were crammed in there. I got in line and moved along to homeroom,and I forget who my homeroom teacher was but I was so nervous as she took role (I do remember it was a she). I think that my voice cracked as I said "here!" when my name was called and everyone in the classroom laughed at me, great first impression huh? I got my schedule and they released us to go to first period. I'm not gonna sit up here and talk about the details of each period up to lunch...so I'll just skip to lunch which was the part of middle school that excited me the most! To hell with dressing up my binder with hot women in bathing suits and my favorite artists! To hell with trying to make my locker look like a piece of home with a touch of cool! And to hell with being able to pick my classes!...I was thrilled about the food! ...and seeing my girlfriend for lunch too! Little background on her...she was this short red haired white girl with glasses who liked every single dude in our fifth grade class and one day landed on me...and I decided to make her my girlfriend, why? I have the slightest clue! It somehow lasted through the summer and BOOM! here there we were. I got my stuffed potato, pepperoni pizza, Gatorade, and zebra cake and sat with her and her friends. As soon as I sat down I felt a weird kinda awkward tension that was so prevalent and strong at the table. My girlfriend wouldn't look directly in my eyes, and her friends were kinda looking at her as if they were waiting for her to tell me something, then one of em finally opened up and said "...Foster, Jess has something to tell you...tell him Jess...might as well get it over with..." The next thing I know is that she opened up her little mouth and said "I think we should break up..." What the merciful fuck?! This is the first day of school in middle school and you're deciding to break up with me?! You heartless little cunt! I had never been more crushed and embarrassed in my life. She just had to do it in front of all of her friends though? Really?! I had never been dumped before...I mean I was only 10 at the time and I didn't know how to take it so I broke down and cried like a little bitch in the cafeteria in front of everybody! I got up and took myself on over to the table with my friends (who I thought could be somewhat comforting) and told them what happened and one of em just burst out in laughter and said "damn nigga! you got dumped by a white girl on the first day of school?! Damn must suck to be you!" Some friends huh? I didn't eat the rest of my lunch that I had highly anticipated the whole day. The rest of the day was pretty treacherous, I had all of my worst classes (math, science, and home ec.) and I was picked on a bit for having a bush and wearing gel in my hair...and my clothes weren't really up to par with everyone else's. I'm not aloud to like flannel shirts and cargo pants? It was a pretty shitty day. As much I was looking forward to a new beginning at a new school, I would have never anticipated this, but hey, that's life. I didn't set my expectations too high, but they sure came crashing down as if they had fallen from the sky, which was a harsh reality to face. But it surely can't rain forever. Sixth grade year was quite a roller coaster. I ended up failing 6 out of 7 courses on quarter because at one point I just didn't care about anything because my confidence was crushed daily and I almost failed gym for not changing because I was shy about changing my clothes in front of people. It took me three months to learn how to open my locker. I had countless run-ins with Ms. Debbie on the bus for not taking any shit when it came to MY seat. I'm going to digress for a bit, but what the hell did Dr. King and Rosa Parks fight for if all my generation does when we get on the bus is go straight to the back of the bus? I guess it must have been so that we can sit wherever we would like on any form of public transit. Umm...what else happened? Oh yea I was turned down by like every girl I tried to go out with that year too. If there was anything positive that did happen that school year is that I learned how to "freak dance" with girls as they grinded on my still-goin-through-puberty wiener. As bad the first day and the rest of the year was accompanied by many ass-whoopin's at home for bad grades, I bounced back so diligently the next year and I have been on a roll ever since! One day cannot ruin it all, ever!

So Just Forget Carmen San Diego Huh?

Even we knew what Carmen San Diego looked like even though we never quite figured out WHERE THE HELL SHE WAS EXACTLY!!! But riddle me this, what in the living hell does a weapon of mass destruction look like?! Somebody, anybody please tell me what they look like?! Apparently our country has been on this wild goose chase for a few long years trying to find and secure these WMD's just so they do not get used on us but so we can use them on other countries? I remember in the seventh grade learning about America bombing Hiroshima, Japan with the first ever nuclear bomb created by Albert Einstein in World War II, and in my opinion that was the the first form of a weapon of mass destruction. Back then, military weapons were huge and obvious, but that was in the late 40's and fifties, and you know how with our technology these days things are just as powerful in a smaller and more compact space. The sad thing is that I came up with this theory when I was high celebrating the death of Osama Bin laden (sue me.) But cmon now! You cannot honestly sit there and tell me that you believe these technologically advanced and highly intelligent countries have missiles the size if Shaq buried underneath some secret chamber underground set to aim and strike American soil if we dare slip up (many countries blatantly have missiles aimed at us as it is)...I just refuse to believe this. I believe that because technology is so advanced terrorists probably have weapons the size of teardrops capable enough to take out entire cities or small states even. With that said, I am sure that nuclear missiles are out there still, they just aren't as hard to find as our media is making them seem (but they always try and sweep things under the rug these days when it comes to things that are threatening to civilization.) There are however, weapons of mass destruction that exist in our OWN damn country as well that are not even recognized by the naked eye of the public. For starters, you have these damn gas prices that are slowly killing everyone piece by piece at the pump. Then there are reality television shows that are killing off everyone's concept of "cool" and brain cells in general. Then last but not least, you have these half-assed parents who are now starting at the age of fifteen who want to bring kids into the world and not have a single thing planned in regards to raising them or establishing some sort of foundation for them to raise their kids upon. While they are sending thousands upon thousands of troops overseas to fix issues in other countries, we don't look twice at the issues that are constantly and consistently piling up in our own country. It is all sad, we know what solution we are after but fail to open our minds up as to how to find it or even consider that what we are looking for may not always be in the form that we envisioned. The sad thing is that terrorists or scientists or whoever is creating these weapons of mass destruction are probably (hypothetically) neatly and quietly storing their little concoctions in the back of their fridges right next to their milk and cheese while they watch American soldiers terrorize their neighborhoods through their windows with a smirk on their face because they know that what they have will not be found anytime soon.

Now Before You Get All in a Frenzy...

Last night I definitely decided to stay off of blogs to avoid two things:

1. Laughing my ass off
2. Shaking my head at ignorant posts about Osama Bin Lade

But last night on Twitter I got a good dose as to what my peers are feeling about the situation and how they interpret what is likely to happen next.

First thing I am gonna say is that THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT 2012 BULLSHIT! Get over it people! Osama Bin Laden's death may launch an attack or a whole new series of war, but I highly doubt that the Taliban is going to look on the calendar and actually Nuke us on whatever day the Mayans took a break from continuing on the calendar. Second thing, Osama's death has nothing to do with the general beliefs of people of the Islamic faith, please stop with all the ignorance surrounding Islam and the Muslims that are faithful to the religion. Regardless of how the media portrays Muslims or how your own ignorance interprets what Muslims believe in, please know that their religion is solely based on PEACE.

I am quite happy that Osama Bin Laden is no longer a worry of our country or anyone else's in the world, but let us not forget that this man did not operate by himself, he had a wide range of followers willing to die for whatever cause he would arrange. Our new worry should be on how to find and stop them from inflicting more terror and pain around the world. It was not ignorant for anybody to go out last night and celebrate that mans death, Personally, Osama Bin Laden was NOT a man. He killed using others, he ran, and he hid. That is not the description of the man, it is the description of a coward who rightfully deserved to die. I had a few friends who were disgusted at the whole idea of people celebrating a man's death does not mean that they are better or worse than anybody who indeed celebrated. To be honest, I think that most people only used that "that's wrong" logic for brownie points. He is dead, he is gone, let us move on.

The death of Bin Laden certainly did not lower our sky high gas prices, find a cure for HIV/AIDS, feed the hungry, stabilize the economy, or bring our troops back home which are all issues that our country must continue to focus on. Sure one day of celebrating and showing for your patriotic love for America is great and all, but it damn sure did not fix one of those problems today, now did it? Osama being gone is just one tasked marked off on this country's very long and insanely organized agenda. We should take that same patriotism we displayed and make it everlasting to help out our country on a daily basis and help improve our own being instead of waiting on our tardy, unreliable, and non-responsive government.

Let Osama Bin Laden's death be a wake up call to not only American's, but the world as well that we really need to wake up and get our priorities straight before we get one small victory, get comfortable, and decide to get lazy and end right back where we first started.

Fahrenheit Foolery & Fuckery

Oh Spring is here! Spring is here! Spring is here! I'm not talking about that damn day that is marked on the calendar in March that says "Spring begins today" when it was fucking thirty degrees below Jesus outside, but the actual feeling that comes along with the season that defines what Spring really is. The weather, the change of the wardrobes, the greenery making its return to the atmosphere...that is the Spring that I am talking about! I left out the temperature however (I know I said weather, but that isn't necessarily the same thing), I just love the temperature! Great Springtime temperature brings many great things...actually that is the reason for the season once we are all done with the damn rain from April that is suppose to bring May flowers that I could most definitely do without because I am allergic! The temperature brings a lack of clothes, lack of care, but sadly it also forces people to lack in their thought process and make them total assholes and idiots. I will never fully be able to comprehend why when the good weather rolls around, the fools of the earth transpire and the crime rate skyrockets! It is like these people plant their ignorance, stupidity, and foolishness underground in the early parts of Fall and once the warm weather comes back around their same old dumb ass ways of thinking sprout from the ground and find a way right back into their minds. Just last week, I was on Twitter and everyone and their mother was talking about going to the zoo or the word "zoo" was fused into each one of their tweets, I looked a little closer and dug a little deeper only to discover that everyone was tweeting about the zoo because there had been a stabbing from some idiotic group of teens at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. Are we fucking serious?! The National Zoo is FREE people! FREE! But then again that just goes to prove my theory about how people do not know how to act around anything that is FREE! For the past couple springs and summers the DMV (DC, Maryland, and Virginia) area has been one of the worst places to be as far as crime is concerned. Apparently, we just LOVE tearing shit up, killing each other, and ruining fun for tourists who slightly inflate our areas income as a way to enjoy the awesome weather that our area is blessed with from time to time. Stabbing at the zoo, it sounds like a joke but it is a very sad topic to discuss given their were probably plenty of people there who were looking to have a great time on a Monday afternoon. The animals were probably more than confused as to who should have really been locked up and put in a cage as people were forced to evacuate the zoo and pretty much stampeded trough the zoo to an exit knocking over concession stands and even strollers with children in them. What probably shocked me most is how some of the witnesses and patrons at the zoo acted once the news crews got there. From what I heard and read in the papers and online is that a female news anchor was harassed and ridiculed as she was trying to do her job and get a little bit of information about what had occurred that day at the zoo, but the coonery continued. There is nothing cool about acting a fool on camera to show the world that their negative stereotypes about young black people are in fact correct. In the midst of all this madness, the manager of the 7-Eleven across the street from the zoo was attacked and robbed as well. He spoke out and aired his frustration about how he is faced with the same issue every year on the same day, African-American Family Day. Fucking shame. If this is how people are going to act with the heat just beginning to rise, imagine what lies ahead when Summer comes along and scorches the area.(Kinda hard to optimistic huh?) I'm good and damn sure that people's brains do not literally bake and melt and get scrambled when the heat increases, or does it? It is like people leave their common sense, reasonable logic, and smarts at the gates of seasons change. (I would know I worked at Disney, home of the idiots!) Oh yea people please do not forget that just because it is okay to show a little more skin does not mean that you have to show ALL OF IT! We are not trying to see all of that, I promise you. I saw a girl the other day with more ridges in her cellulite ridden ass than a bag of ripple UTZ BBQ chips, disgusting! And ladies please do not think that showing a little more ass and boob is the key to keeping a guy around to build a substantial, lasting, and meaning relationship. Us dudes love Spring Flings and Summer fun as a substitute for an actual relationship. Trust me, there are a million girls doing and wearing the same things that you are in the name of the season; don't sell yourself short. But once again, like always, I digress; I just think that summer flings are the longest form of a one-night stand ever. But for the remainder of the season and throughout Summer let's increase the peace as the heat rises and not the crime rate. Let's keep our cool rather than lose it, and let's create memories rather than witness nitemares. Springtime is here!

I Thought This Was America People...

I am just now realizing that I am living in the home of the idiotic! America has hoodrat priorities in regards to it’s current agenda. Somewhere somebody found it MORE THAT NECESSARY to find out where if our President Barack Obama is in fact an American citizen. Here’s a quick newsflash, we all should have learned this in high school, you cannot be President of the United States if you are not born as an American! That’s the rule! Plain and simple no exceptions we do not care who you are! When I say America has “hoodrat priorities” I mean that they focus on things that no one in the right mind would think twice or give two shits about when you look at what hardships our country is faced with. Starting with the war! we have been overseas fighting a battle of who knows what since damn near the beginning of the 2000’s! We have yet to find a single weapon of mass destruction or that “Where’s Waldo’ wannabe Osama Bin Laden, but we can take time out of the agenda to look for the President’s birth certificate right? Second thing, the cost of gas and oil! People cannot afford to drive damn near two miles without having to pour out pieces of their life savings and a tiny part of their soul when filling up at the pump. Instead of find a solution to get gas to not match the price of cigarettes our government would rather find out if our President is a foreigner. Truth be told, if Obama was born in another country who would really care? I know for damn sure these government officials wouldn’t! These are the same people who almost let Arnold Schwarzenegger go to court and somehow change the law that says you must be an American-born citizen to be the President of this country right? The sad thing is that mans whole campaign was built on hope and change when in reality that hope has diminished nothing has changed when it comes to who is politicking this country of ours…we are obviously on the same ol thing we were back when Bush was in office. Sidenote: if George W. Bush was born in hell what the fuck does it matter where President Obama was born?!

Missing.

I don't know what has me in this mood I have been in the past couple of days. Everything that could be going the way I wanted them to go is going perfectly, but still that isn't filling some void. I feel as if I have everything I could possibly need and kinda want at this moment right now, but something is missing. I guess I am missing romance or something along those lines. I'm so sick of seeing other people happy in their little zones with someone they appear to actually care about. I sit back and act like love at this age is silly, but honestly it is one of the few things to be happy about when you're young. Everybody wants a taste of young love I suppose, the shitty thing about losing it is trying to find something to replace it. My romance has come in the form of dark writing, becoming introverted, drinking, taking pills, and smoking just to put myself in a place where no one can hurt or reach me even if they need me the most. My best friend just came out and told me she hates who I become because of what's happened to me recently, as much as I honor and care about her opinion I really could care less about the last few judgments. I feel that opinions are nothing more than understated judgments actually. Of course people are going to offer their opinion to tell you what they like or didn't like about something that you have recently done. Fuck em. The more and more I look around campus I start to feel like coming here was a mistake and that I am a misfit...hell maybe school just isn't my thing...I been in college too long and still feel like I'm not going to finish, so on most days I'm like fuck school, only reason I go is to make my family proud, I'm pretty sure that I could find some way outside of school to become what I want to be once I get the fuck out of here. I'm just venting, I'm not gonna promote anyone to read this blog because I really don't feel like getting responses back about what I should do to make myself happy or try and fill that void, half of em are probably just going to talk out of their ass anyway and give some bullshit ass response.

No It's Not Me, It's You. (Trust Me.)

We all have those situations we find ourselves in where we swear up and down that it is OUR faults or that it must be something that we are not doing correct. It happens all the time in friendship, work, school, sports, when you look at your paycheck and wonder where the rest of it went, but it is most hilarious when you think that you are the reason for a bad sex experience. Now our generation for some reason prides itself on how good we are at sex, how much sex we have, and how long the sex lasts (even though nobody ever owns up to consequences that come with sex.) or how good the sex is ( we all live in a world where we have sex as good as our favorite love songs). Nobody ever wants to be the one who is awful at it, who can't sustain it for a long time, or be the one who does not know how to handle themselves once they get a taste of it. For girls the most embarrassing thing that could happen for them (I think.) is that that they don't get moist or if their sacred garden smells like a sewer! For guys I would say the most embarrassing thing that can occur is for them to ejaculating to soon, having a small wiener, or the God-awful stigma of not being able to get it up! Most guys will tell you "pssh! never had that problem!" I can personally tell you, I HAVE and it was hilarious...a few weeks later because I found out that I wasn't turning old at the age of 17 needing Viagra, hell I was actually quite normal. Summer of 2007 is where this hilarious sexcapade takes place. Now please do take notice that I will NOT use anyone's name in this story for the sake of their sexual career. I will never forget the setting that hot ass, cramped, messy room. There I laid, NAKED as she climbed on top of me, now I had had a few partners prior to her, but I knew for damn sure that she had the hairiest pubic garden BY FAR! WTF! SHAVE! It is not that hard! If my hedges are trimmed then you can be a decent neighbor and mow your fucking lawn! She got on top of me, grabbed a hold of my pride, and tried to slide it into her (you wanna talk about friction, I swear a brush fire could have been started), I immediately lost all kinds of hope for what was about to happen, and like an epiphany for a great idea that is so perfect and complete...I went soft! I pretended to wanted to go on and at least please her, she was my girlfriend n shit, but who was I fooling I was already laying there with no interest in banging her. I had already started watching the Golden Girls out the corner of my eye because it was on the TV across the room. We did some kissing, no sex, and went on about our business. The next day we sat and talked about what had happened the day before and she basically blamed the whole thing on me. I blamed myself too because I had the belief that once a girl is naked and willing in front of you that your tire is not suppose to go flat before you hit the road, I was so wrong. About two weeks later or so we tried again...and the same thing happened! I began to feel worthless in a way, there was nothing worse than feeling like I was not able to please somebody that I really liked and cared about. I was confused for days because I could be waking up and easily have "morning wood" or see something a bit intriguing on TV and easily get one that way as well. One day while I was at work at Au Bon Pain, I decided to walk to this Chinese drug store in Chinatown and buy some ginseng pills to stimulate my junk! The box was hilarious! It was a hentai (cartoon porn) drawing of two Street Fighter characters fucking hardcore, and inside were the pills. They were about 500mg in each cap, I don't remember exactly. I bought the pills, called up my girlfriend, told her what I had just bought (she laughed) and then noticed a bulge in my pants. Now what would cause this bulge? Could it have been the tons of girls that I was surrounded by at the moment who were just downtown shopping wearing the shortest of short skirts and shorts? Or could it have been the Asian clerk who rung me up who had that awesome accent with those lovely boobies? I don't know what it was that hit me at the moment, but I then realized that it was not ME who had the problem, my not being able to get a boner was not my fault at all! I figured...how can I get a boner around someone who I am not attracted to? It was her that was the cause for not being able to get an erection! I just simply was not into her sexually. No offense, but it guess that was my body's way of telling me that she was not the one, and that something better was waiting around the corner. Now of course I did not tell her that I was not sexually attracted to her, that would have been such an insensitive asshole type move. Even though in this day and age I would have been let her know how I was feeling. I was all nice and timid about the information I gave people back in 2007, but not in this day and age. I'm far more blunt and honest. I decided to lay off trying to have sex with her for the duration of our relationship which was a total joke to me and everyone I was friends with at the time. So many lies and deception (on her side) and I tried everything in my power to keep it working, but for what? We luckily split over the next two weeks which was pretty cool because we all know how people love being single in the summertime these days.

The Storm.

Thunderstorms have always been something that soothed my raging soul after a day filled with bullshit. Nothing is more calming than the sound of the rain hitting the atmosphere and the thunder roaring in the night sky. Thunderstorms at any time of day are awesome, but the ones at night are absolute magic! The sounds from the raindrops and thunder transcend over into my dreams and nitemares making my subconscious so vivid and real that when I wake up I feel as if reality will never compare to what I just woke up from. Today was actually a pretty shitty day, somebody just up and disappeared, i realized that I haven't done shit over this spring break but work and be sick, and have just sat in the deepest places of my thoughts all day. I haven't really been in too much a mood to talk to too many people today either, or lately as a matter of fact. People just don't seem as permanent as they use to in my opinion. This maybe because of my back tracking ass thoughts, I hate that everyday has become a comparison to a day I had last year or two years ago, I don't know...that's when I was my happiest. I just don't feel like doing shit anymore but working, hanging out from time to time, or being alone, and then coming home and taking my pills and going to bed. Going to bed has actually become my favorite part of the day, that's where everything happens that I want to. It is the only time I have no responsibility or control over anything that goes on in my mind. Lately I just want to be alone and not bothered by too many people, I just don't have the mental capacity to tolerate too much shit these days. I know things will get better eventually, whatever it is going on with me exactly, but I just wish things could be the way they use to be. I was working on trying to be happy again without being dependent on a lot of things, but it feels that I am lapsing right back into that old way and I don't know how to weather it. It came from nowhere carrying a great variety of things to stir and shake up my thoughts, emotions, and even my fears...the storm.

POHH! Outro(Official Music Video)

Aite on this blog I never! ever! give up space for artists, but this dude right here is my musical brother since forever! Love his style, his content, what he represents and his overall demeanor! My man Lega-c in his official video! Here it is and enjoy! POHH!

Gossip, Gossip...Chill.

Thank God winter is almost over! I hate these clothes, the lack of color in the atmosphere, and most of all the bitter cold in the air. The only thing that seems to be floating through the air more than the cold is rumors about people; the only difference is that rumors float through the air every season of the year. Are people really that fucking bored with their lives that they have to pick a random individual to create a falsified story about a person just to make themselves feel better? They say that words don't hurt, true, but the way a person is treated after a rumor has been spread does hurt. I mean...most rumors are usually about the dumbest, most childish, most unbelievable things in the world. Do you really think I give two shits whose dick that girl sucked? I mean if the rumor is being told to me from a girl I'm definitely thinking "you up here telling me as if giving head is a crime! You bound to suck a dick or two in your life time too! So what makes that story so special?" Dudes run around calling girls "hoes" or "easy" because a girl they heard about has just up and fucked everybody, I don't get it. The dudes are either mad that she turned them down at a party, even while she was drunk (and you know you ain't dong something right when a drunk person turns you down for ANYTHING!)or they are jealous of all the guys she has given up sex to so they have to create some story about her and try to find some way to make her feel awful when she is feeling awesome. (Food for thought; spreading rumors about a girl who won't give you the time of day will definitely NOT help you in pursuing her or any other female, they know everything...or think they do.) Us males and our double standards, we can run through a couple girls and be considered THE MOTHERFUCKING MAN, but don't let a girl go and do the same thing...she will have to walk around with a goddamn 'A' stitched on her shirt right above her right titty for the rest of her college career. It seems that our generation is obsessed with making celebrities out of people in our friends circle under the darkest of lights. If you are always around people that gossip, or partake in gossiping or are always talking shit about people what makes you think that your friends do not gossip about you once you left the room too? Trust me, they talk up a storm about everything from what you were wearing, how often you annoy them, who you're talking to, and who you're fucking but will smile in you face once you come back from the bathroom five minutes later. I guess people with friends who gossip assume they are exempt from being a target as well, you're not. The people you associate yourself with are most likely people who bare traits that you have, even the negative ones. Ladies and gentlemen, though gossiping may seem fun, innocent, and even relieving while you are doing it amongst "friends", reality is that damage is actually being done to the person you're gossiping about as far as their reputation goes in the eyes of other people. Most people sit up there and say "I don't care what people think of me." This is more times than not a lie or just a barrier they have up so they won't get hurt. Sometimes people don't even gossip to people they know, they will tell anybody just for the sake of their story being heard. They will be on some Forrest Gump shit and just randomly start talking to a stranger at a bus stop, the store...hell even the damn cashier about who made out with who at the party over the weekend. We have created an airborne version of the tabloids and made our friends personal lives the front page headline for no reason at all.

There You Are Again.

There you are again, waking me up from my peace.
There you are again in the shadows of my mind making me feel incomplete.
There you are again in your favorite dress.
There you are again doing what you do best.
I want to open up and speak but you make me digress.
I want to tell you something so real, but it burns a hole in my chest.
There you go again laughing as I suffer, smiling with the cutest smile.
There you go again, won't you stay awhile?
There you go again telling me I said things I never said.
There you go again playing with my head.
I want to hold you hand but you remain out of reach
I want to whisper in your ear, but you broke down my speech.
There you are again consuming upon my happiness.
There you go again brushing your teeth in my bliss.
There you go again never to return.
There you go again staring at me as I burn.
I want you to run away from my nitemares as you had once chased me
I want you to help me feel like you when you erased me.

Song Forgotten.

I had a song in mind, and I had a song in line
Along the way I forgot the words
Had a song in line, forgot the rhyme.
It would have been the dopest song you ever heard.
The pen and paper were intact
Line for line my memory flashed back
To a time where the pen and paper were one.
Now look how spread out and far they've become.
Writer's block hanging out across the street from inspiration
The song I wrote for you was a symphony without limitation.
Got to your door step with roses in hand
Ring the doorbell, your ringtone went off, it was one of my favorite bands
Door opens up and standing there was merely a sample.
Saw a reflection of your sandal through the brass door handle
handed the sample your roses and music notes just played in your yard
The sample said "anything else I can do?"
I said to the sample "deliver this song..."
Started to think about what I wrote for you, but the words came out wrong.
I had a song in mind, I had a song in line.
Along the way I forgot the words.

Lover's Rock.

The loneliness is so consuming.
The marketer of all emotions
Thoughts run deep about the last like a million oceans
Devotion and commotion swarm thoughts like infuriated bees amongst children playin tag near a hive.
To be loved is not to be alive
More like enlightened or sun kissed on shut eyes
Lips that tell lies caress inner thighs
Texts with no replies
Curses at the skies
Are all the result if its YOUR fault
But you say nothing, words stay locked away in your deepest vault.
We try to get back to ourselves
Rearrange our minds shelves
We can’t wait for a new day so we pray for twelve
Eye gazing upon clocks
The annoyance of a million ticks and tocks
Stomach in a knot
Dates of importance forgot
We are so out of control swearing things are on lock.
Lies fall neatly as we dance the lover’s rock.

Out Of My Head, Out Of My Hands.

They say when you have nitemares about somebody it means that they miss you? I don't know if that is the truth or a bunch of bullshit. Like I said, it what "they" say, and most of what they say is a bunch of bullshit most days. People don't trust their own silly logic anymore these days. But I digress, I have been having constant nitemares about a certain somebody who apparently I'm not fully over yet...or at least my subconscious isn't yet. The worst part about all these episodes is that they FEEL REAL. Not so much real in the sense of what goes on the dream. The talks, the touches, the smells, the overall interaction seems as if it never left. It's like we paused the movie and pressed play all over again, picking up right where we left out. I can't help but to wake up feeling alone, cheated, and ridiculed. At the end of the day, all of the nitemares appear to make sense in my real life. I have all of these locked away emotions and fantasies in a dream that are practically screaming to be free when I am wide awake, but I won't let them get the best of me...so torment myself when I'm sleep with thoughts of her. Why can I sit up here and tell these things to complete strangers? Probably because I know they are reading for entertainment, which this is intended for, but within it lies lots of truths. It is like everywhere I fucking go in my dream, there she is. I have taken plenty of sedatives to try and put me in the deepest sleep possible just so can either skip the dreams or not remember them when I wake up. I haven't had these nitemares in months on end...I was fine...I was in some way shape or form...satisfied...but now I feel a bit empty all over again...as if something is missing...again.

The Homey.

It was 3 o'clock in the morning, you were riding around forever looking for a quick and cheap fix, all of your other "friends" weren't up to give you what you needed at the moment, even though they were all in the vicinity of where you were driving...they flaked. One of your friends actually just got off the clock at about 2am, but what kind of friend clocks off from the "friendship" shift? Then you are riding a little further down the street and there you see them, your homey, glistening, shining, bright and tall waiting for you to pull up into their warmth and tell them exactly what you want and how much of it you want. You may even tell this friend how you have been driving around for hours looking for someone like them to satisfy your late night craving. They ask you what you want and you begin by saying "let me get uhhh....number six no cheese, with a Hi-C...LARGE with two apple pies." Yes yes, ladies and gentlemen McDonald's is America's homey! Whenever you were hungry, on a road trip, and you just fucked up by passing the Waffle House...who was there at 3am in the morning with hundreds of locations on the way to your destination? It sure wasn't Burger King, Checkers, or that whore Wendy...it was your homey since you were able to say "I want a Happy Meal!" That's right!...Your dear good friend Mickey D! Who gives you what you need for the low low? Not Ruby Tuesdays or TGI Friday's...nope! Your homey Mickey D! Everybody hates em but you will sit there and defend your homey even though you know damn well they ARE NO GOOD for you...we all have that friend. McDonald's is probably part of the reason this country hasn't sunk into a DEPRESSION, cmon now...how can a country go into a depression when they have a meal that makes them happy?...it's called a fucking Happy Meal! When gas prices were going up and you were being evicted because THE RENT WAS TOO DAMN HIGH! who was across the street from your pile of shit on the curb waiting to fill you up with a goodness called joy?...not the Repo man! But...McDonald's was! People always say how fake the homey is, how bad they are, what they are made of and how they are going to kill you in the long run...they have yet to let me down and you either! I blame the parents for letting The Homey take place of a proper diet and exercise, who lets their child hang around their friends all day every day and substitute a quick meal (which should be consumed occasionally) instead of a home cooked nutritious meal? People are so quick to point their fingers at friends as enemies before they address the enemy that lies within which is their ignorance and negligence. No fast food joint ever hurt anyone...it was the infatuation with fast food, the lack of self-control, and the inability to simply say "I don't need that, I have food at home". McDonald's never killed anybody...they did it to themselves.

The Cloud Hangs Low.

I'm starting to lose comfort and sanity within myself. I all of a sudden feel like I want to break the fuck out of here! My bestfriend knows me best, because this time last year I had the same feelings, only difference is I got out of this hell that I called home. The fire is snow, the smoke is that cold air that blows and the holidays bring depression. I don't want to be constantly reminded of how Martin Luther King Jr. was murdered...they don't even celebrate his birthday properly...today they were two days late with that celebration. Why? So the government could take ANOTHER day off. They're worse than the public school systems. The State of the Union ain't do nothing but make me feel like a made the wrong decision at the polls that morning, Never anticipated school so much, I'm tired of sitting around feeling like nothing and when I do something it still feels like nothing. Being a manic-depressive sucks, especially on Friday nights. Sitting up here watching this cool ass depressing ass movie, The Dark Knight not really in the mood for conversation via text, IM, tweeting, or hearing another humans voice. I just wanna sit in my thoughts till I sink in and can't get out. I left home thinking back here was going to be uplifting, not the case. I tricked myself again. Maybe Maryland just is not the place for me, hell it wasn't the place for my sister or any of the athletes who were born here because you never hear of a sensational NBA player playing for the Wizards being born in or around the area. I can read people's faces without saying a word or seeing a letter. Is this what I get for not drinking or smoking tonight? Or is this just a good ol classic case of withdrawal. Two parties going on but I don't want to be at one of em...I anticipate too much I guess. Or it could be because I'm lonely as fuck, nothing close to a girlfriend out here...prospect? maybe. But who the fuck knows. I never felt more disappointed in myself for no reason ever...I feel like day by day I'm just wasting away. This must be home my stupid fucking managers feel and why they hate us so much. They see us working for a few extra dollars in our pocket, but they know that this is ALL THEY WILL EVER HAVE, being the manager of muuhfuckin Cinnabon. Oh well fuck em, as long as I have a job I am not complaining...times are too hard for that. I miss all my friends back home even though when I'm there they are hardly ever around or available. But honestly I'm just tired of the sky being gray. Why did this time last year have to be so perfect?! Now I'm comparing today to it and the comparison isn't even close. All I can do is reminisce...and even that hurts somedays.

Seriously.

On Christmas night, I was having another hilarious discussion with my uncles and my mother about how my generation differs from when they were coming up. They emphasized how the styles we are trying to bring back these days are nothing more than a disgrace as to how they use to wear and style things back then. My uncle said, "what's up with the skinny jeans? That's some dumb lookin shit! Ya'll generation is nothing more than some bamma's!" Now of course he was generally speaking and i was generally agreeing, because the truth is some many people are quick to label things, especially went it comes to fashion trends, cool or dope or fly or whatever the fuck it is we say these days. If skinny jeans, v-necks, and those ugly ass Polo boots are your thing GO FOR IT, who the hell am I or any other person to tell you what you are wearing is unacceptable? If you comfortable fuck what everybody else says or has to say. Now, the problem with fashion comes in when people, this is more directed toward dudes, begin to show their underwear as part of their outfit and call it "COOL". I see it everywhere I go, it is a universal tragedy...a two hundred dollar pair of designer jeans or cool looking jeans gone to shit because some idiot decides to sag em below their waist revealing their ass! Our generation has definitely fucked up the meaning of COOL and what it is to dress cool... how the hell are you dressing cool when half of your outfit is undressing itself. A belt never fucking killed anybody...well never mind a few people have hung themselves in jail with a belt, but you get what I mean. There is nothing more aggravating and annoying than walking down the street and seeing a group of NIGGAS (yea I try to refrain from using this word on my blog, but goddammit I am fed up!) walking with each other and all of their dirty ass boxers or tidy whities are showing and their waistline is starting at the back of their fucking knees! I don't know how it is where you're from, but where I'm from in the DMV, it is not uncommon to see this fuckery at all. The sad part is half these fools are walking around with their pants sagged to Satans level without knowledge of where this trend started and began. It all started with the prison system. In prison, any man who wears his pants sagging is viewed as a female or in prison terms "someone's bitch" and is his ass is basically claimed by another man...it has been this way for quite sometime now. Hip Hop in the 90's made it a fashion trend and people followed suit. Some people claim they wear their pants sagging to represent somebody who is jail...that's such bullshit! President Barack Obama told MTV in 2008, "...brothers should pull up their pants. You are walking by your mother, your grandmother, your underwear is showing. What's wrong with that? Come on. Some people might not want to see your underwear. I’m one of them." I totally agree as many other people would. I wish the people who wore their pants like this would realize that they do make jeans that sag and stay on your waist at the same time! I hate to say this, but it appears that the jackasses who do this have the attitude to match this dumb lookin fad. I'm not gonna go too deep into this nonsense because the ones reading this are probably the ones the that hate seeing this shit too! Plain and simple, get your motherfucking pants off the ground and buy a belt or some pants that actually fucking fit!

To Hell With Winter.

Lately my mind has been so tied up in Twitter, Tumblr, movies and things of that nature. I was also suffering from biggest case of writers block. I swear that shit is like a disease! Just last week I was talking to my best friend who is on her way to being an outstanding poet, and apparently she had writers block too and it looks like I caught the fucking bug too! I had been going back and forth in my head about what I should write about and what could inspire me. Nothing came along for a very long time. It has been like two weeks or so since my last post and that shit frustrates me, I hate not being able to process a full and complete subject or thought. Somebody actually called me a traitor for going to Tumblr and just posting things for fun: a few posts here, a song here and there and some new friends, nothing major just fuckery at its best. Since my last post I have come to the realization that winter, when you look beyond the holiday's and the white powdery stuff we call snow...winter is an ugly fucking season...no offense to the season you were born in if you were born in winter, I'm sure you are just beautiful...speaking of the season you were born in, let's talk about that new zodiac symbol bullshit that Minnesota Planetarium Professor Parke Kunkle came up with named "Ophiuchus". Now if that doesn't sound like a synonym for HERPES I don't know what does! This had everybody in a frenzy online for about 8 hours when they thought that they were going to have to claim another zodiac symbol because Ophiuchus changes the way the symbols are distributed, but sure enough all the hype died down when people found out the zodiac symbol change is only relevant if you were born after 2009. But I digress. Since the blizzards of last year, which most of us are still not over, and the way things look I can conclude that winter looks more grim than the original Cinderella story. Looking up at the sky is like looking up at a gray hell filled with black clouds and a crying sun behind it all. The ground looks discolored and boring as the snow begins to melt...and what the fuck is up with the snow turning black...that is depressing in it's own way. Women have to hide the parts about them I love the best aside from their brains. Breasts, legs, and toes go into hibernation until Spring rolls back around. Winter attire is very boring being it is often covered up by a big heavy ass coat and hairstyles go unknown because they're covered by hats and scarves. Couples do appear the happiest in the winter however, probably because they're getting the best gifts because of the holiday season and Valentine's Day and because it begins to feel like eternity...and then the end of Winter rolls around and everyone starts breaking up and acting brand new for the Spring and Summer because nobody likes being tied down when those two come to town. Yea Spring and Summer are like those two friends that are nothing more than bad influences who want you to become the old free spirited you and let loose. Let's face it, the old free spirited you was never tied down or had any type of responsibility outside of going to public school. It's a damn shame, I never noticed how fixated people are about being single for the spring and summer until last year on Twitter when it became so prevalent and common to see people tweet things like: "new season, new bait" or "I'm so glad I'm single now, just in time for spring." It is people with mentalities like this that HAVE NO BUSINESS IN RELATIONSHIPS IN THE FIRST PLACE. Its a fucking shame honestly, you invest six whole months or so in something you felt was real, and then you up and change with the seasons leaving people with the allergy of you from Spring and the heated misery created due to summer, none of these break ups and heartbreaks would occur if winter weren't so cold though. I'll just be happy when it is all over, winter that is. I want to wear shorts and a wife beader everywhere I go, eat outside at the restaurants downtown, and drive with my windows down and my music turned all the way up. Fuck this snow! Fuck the cold! Fuck the groundhog that decides if our winter is going to be longer or shorter!...we might as well let George W. Bush pick our country's fights again if we're leaving all seasonal fate up to a fucking rodent who is scared of it's own shadow! Last but not least...FUCK THE HEARTBREAK that is waiting right around the corner at the end of the season! As I look out of my window, which looks like a wintery hell...I cannot help but rewind my life back to February of 2009 where I got lucky enough to dodge this place filled with snow and heartache to begin another chapter in my life in Orlando, Florida..hell I was there this time last year. But this time last year I was in Florida for a second time except last time I was in love with someone who crushed me at the end of the season...so like I said, Fuck the winter and all it brings.

The Hometeam.

There are millions upon millions of people who use Twitter out there, this is factual. With so many people on this awesome site how can one region be brought together to create one voice?...well the answer is simple...I call them the Home Team, but they are Young Pop and Talley the creators, founders, bosses of the account that is responsible of bringing Twitter users in the DMV together to find em just holla at @DMVFollowers. Young Pop and Talley aren't the only two that run the site, their homey and homey alike Nitty (@NittyisFly) will also jump on the account and do some promotion from time to time as well. The Home Team was recently nominated in the Washington Post's #DCtweeps competetion as one of the best promotional Twitter accounts in the DMV area...even though they did not win the competetion...to even be recognized by a newspaper that is known worldwide is saying alot! Not bad for an account that has only been online for less than a year. @DmvFollowers is probably the most ideal place for any local artists, politicians, events, news, etc. to be broadcast and promoted. I know they sure as hell put me on to a few of the coolest followers I'll ever have and they do it daily or the entire area for everybody living in it. It's not ALWAYS business with these guys, they engage in shouting out people for followers, making lists up, the follower favorite "smash or pass", the DMV Baitlist, and they always always always find a way to bring a few laughs to timelines. Some people hate em and it is not always the best idea to broadcast your anger when they do not shout you out... these guys have 17,700 followers (at this moment) and all...or most of them are asking, begging, or willing to do unholy things to gain a few quick followers. I'll never forget over the summer while I was at my desk at the Library of Congress some fat ass girl decided to say "Fuck them!" and The Home Team followed suit and talked so bad about the girl that she deleted her account, even though the Home Team only tweeted a few things about her, their followers had much much more to say about her. There are plenty of imitations and half ass duplications of the @DMVFollowers site, but none of them have been as successful or as effective as the originators have been this past year, and I only expect more to come from these dudes. I don't go to clubs because I hate the crowd, but I know if I was to ever go to the club the Home Team knows where the most live spots will be and who is going to be there. There are 3 simple rules to get a followback and shout outs from @DMVFollowers 1. You must be following @YoungPop & @TalleyIsMajor 2. You Must live in the DMV area...DC/MD/VA. 3. well fuck it you gotta be dope! Anyways like I always say in my tweets about @DMVFollowers...Peace to the home team for doin their thang!

The Internet Ruined My Life.

After watching that fuckery of a movie 'The Craigslist Killer on Lifetime...of all networks to watch which I am still in amazement about, I have come to the brash conclusion that people have too much fucking time time on their hands devoted to the internet and create the opportunity for the internet to ruin potentially great things to come. People are so hooked to the internet like its digital crack. (which it is) I have seen countless talk shows and news studies that discuss and show how people are losing jobs, money, family, and even relationships (can you believe this shit?!) all because they do not know how to simply sign the fuck off of the internet and live in the real world from time to time. I have even witnessed it first hand how people will literally procrastinate doing things like homework, eat, sleep, and love because of the internet. I cannot sit here and act like I ignored a few homework assignments because what I was doing in Facebook and Twitter was far more interesting, but still I know when to buckle down and sign the hell off. Old folks hate it, our young generation love and adore it...but all things that can be done online are not always best. For example relationships, take it from me...I met my last two girlfriends on a social site...no shame in admitting that...they were awesome...then after the honeymoon stage...well you know how that goes. Things just become so difficult and you cannot help but sit and wonder what the hell happened to that person that was so amazing in the beginning. After those experiences I'm not going to count out online dating or anything, but I will take MORE time to get to know the person before I nose dive into a disaster. It's like after you have been through two online relationships gone sour you can't help but sit behind your screen and laugh to yourself at the people who are trying to find their soul mates on Facebook and Twitter...hell even MySpace if they still use it. You see it all the time, dudes going at females online with sexy, sweet, and provocative profile pictures not realizing two very important things. 1. If you do so happen to get her out on a date once you get her number, then what? because let's face it majority of guys online are on the hunt for quick and "easy pussy". They can sit there and talk a big game online and throw as many sweet compliments to the girl as the want, but somewhere down the line the hidden agenda will come to light. But I digress...if she does let the guy have sex with her what is that saying about her & him? Oh I don't know...maybe he or she has fucked a few other people offline on the first meeting...can't even call it a date...just like you. 2. Most dudes fail to realize that just because the girl is looking like a video vixen in her profile picture does not mean that underneath all that glitz and glamor there is not a brain present...or so we would hope. I do not know what "easy" looks like, but I can get some sort of image in my head based on what I have seen some of my friends go at while we're out or at a party and stuff. I don't know...I tweet it often as I can just so the people that follow do not forget that "Twitter is not eHarmony or Match.com!" Now it is one thing to be killed romantically in the hands of the internet, but how the hell do you let that keep you from getting a job?! Isn't that where all the companies making you apply anyway these days? (I love this concept because it is eco-friendly!) All that time people spend watching YouTube, Worldstarhiphop, and horoscopes you would think they could take some time out of their browsing session to go ahead and fill out a few fucking applications!...but not everyone thinks like that. Downloading all that fucking music! How about you download a job motherfucker! Friendships...well they must not be too strong of friendships if you let gossip via Facebook and subtweets break up a bond that is suppose to be as strong as duct tape. You see it time and time again, two people going at it through wall posts or tweets verbally abusing the holy fuck out of each other, for most people it is great entertainment, which it is, but people are really missing the big picture..which is...what ever happened to doing this over the phone...or better yet face to face...and no I'm not talking about that cool ass feature the new iPhone has! People do not give a damn about privacy anymore...I mean i sit up here on my blog and tell stories of my life because I am conscious and comfortable enough to know the information I give out here is not damaging...and if it is so what!They are funny!...or so people tell me. But when you are arguing publicly arguing with someone so all of your friends and followers (which majority of the time are people you never even said hello to, you just have a lot too seem cool) can see your dirty laundry you look immature, ignorant, and dumb as shit! The sad part is, even after they air each others dirty laundry they're going to be friends again in a week or so and right back on the same bullshit online a month later. I have not seen too many situations personally that have been created due to online gambling so I cannot speak on it, but I will say this...do not lose your family and fucking house for some bullshit online, that that shit to Vegas! Wanna catch a cheater?...that should be the title of new tv show or something, but people are so dumb! They are really dumb forreal! (Antoine Dodson voice) How easy is it to get caught cheating online?! well let's ask a few of the dumb asses that I know that have been "caught up" online...let's see it all starts when the girl your dating starts looking at your page and sees a particular female writing you shit like "hey babe", "hey boo", the kissy face smiley, and the all-time famous! "why didn't you text me back last night?" I do not condone cheating at all, I think it's the most cowardly thing a person could ever do to another, but cmon now! Another way to catch a cheater online...you don't need their password or nothing... the infamous unwanted or unknowingly photo's that were tagged on Facebook will serve you right. Remember how she said she wasn't going out on Saturday night, but then all of a sudden you see some tagged pics of her posted on Sunday afternoon, the very next day with her all hugged up sitting on the dudes lap who she said was "just a friend" from her physics class?...we have a word for that where I'm from...bullshit! The funniest part about catching a cheater online is the confrontation of the person who cheated...but do these people have enough sense to meet up, text, or call each other like grown civilized people? If you answered "no" you have a fucking brain! If you answered "yes" you must be the most naive motherfucker on the face of the earth! First thing that happens is the subliminal status update or tweet that usually says "I'm done, fuck this bullshit!" then the person will go on their Facebook and change their status to single without the other person knowing, so know when the cheater wakes up and signs online first thing in the morning like everyone does these days they will be like "I'm single?" this is when the wall to wall war begins. Think I'm wrong? Just take a look for yourself. Everybody knows somebody or has a friend who is a cheater. Point blank and period folks is that the internet is awesome, fun, and very mysterious... but please please please do not let this awesome tool be the thing that burdens your lifestyle and potentially your future...it's just technology...not your brain...use it don't abuse and overuse it.