Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Joy.

Whooo lawd! This semester has damn near pushed me over the edge: The car trouble, the issues in my math class, the two car accidents (which were very minor Thank God), the drama I had to deal with at home, and then being without a car for damn near the entire second half of the was hell. But luckily I have angels surrounding me and so much positivity from other people surrounding me that it is almost impossible for me to fail, or at least it felt like it. Usually I write about everything else going on with me through story form and things like that, but not this time. I must tell everybody about these amazing people that have come into my life this semester. First things first, I wanna thank my family for being there for me all semester pushing me and pushing me keeping me on the right track and making sure I had what I needed to succeed, and all the tough love you guys showed me when needed, because I know I am not always easiest person to tell off. It all started back in the summer when my homey Fred, who I went to high school and worked with over the summer with at the Library of Congress said that he would help me out with finding a place to stay. Unfortunately, that didn't work out since everything was so last minute, but luckily I bought a car the week before the semester started. If it is any lesson I learned this semester, is you get what you pay for, and having a car is an investment where the more you put into it, the more you out of it. Just don't tell the people who make crappy ass American cars in Detroit that; they charge an arm and a leg for a car and all you get is something that is less durable than a pinky finger with no cartilage. My car had damage, got damaged more, bullshitted with the insurance company, then they damaged by pockets...bye bye awesomely handsome refund check. I met Brittanie, who I had been cool with all Summer via Twitter and BBM who went to my new school, Towson University, and on teh first day of class I met her and her friends. They were all so nice and inviting, and they continued to show that same type of amazingness throughout the whole semester. But anyway, me and mom had our issue, I lost my job, and had to find a place to stay or I was going to miss classes and possibly fail courses. I hit Fred up, and told him my situation, at first he said that he and his roommates already had an issue with people staying over, so at the time his answer was no. The about ten minutes later he called and said that he and his roommates talked it out and gave me the okay to stay over. I would like to thank my Padonia Boys Fred, Braulio, and Greg for letting me stay for so long, what was supposed to turn into a week, turned into damn near two months. At times I felt like I was cramping their style, but nonetheless they not once let it show and let me stay there as if I were one of their own and I love and appreciate them for that. In between my time at Padonia and school, Brittanie (@IAmDruggz) said that I could stay over their place for a few days from time to time if I ever needed to. I have never appreciated sleeping on the floor so much in my life! Leni! (@MakeMeCookies09) thank you so much for making up the coziest blankets and comforters on the floor making that cold, hard apparatus feel like a cloud to sleep on. I Wanna thank all the ladies in room 303 for letting me crash and party there, I will never forget it. I would also like to thank my man Stevie, who Brittanie introduced me to this semester for just being a cool as dude, and I appreciate the camera dude! Hell, after this semester I may be right back in 303 during the Spring, who knows it all depends on those people at the damn housing department. Kevin! My man! the RA apparently, check you out! Thank you for being the same cool ass dude from high school even though I haven't seen you in years until this semester for letting me crash on the futon at your place dude, and introducing me to that cute girl who came over and talked about how strong her pimp game was. Jenn, Winta, and Bridget your place has become a home away from home for me I actually feel like a part of this apartment, especially after last night when we got it in for Candace's birthday! Kim, thank you and your roommates for letting me stay over that one night when I was MC Hammered, and you're an awesome snuggler by the way haha. If I left anybody out, I'll probably go back and revise this shit before you even get to read this part about me forgetting anybody. Now, where do I go from here? let's see I have a lot to take care of before next semester. First thing, get my damn car back, which my uncle said is up and ready to go whenever I am ready to pick it up, take it to inspection, and get my tags. I am so full of confidence and love after this semester that I feel that I can take on anything thrown at me. I learned so many lessons this semester, learned so much about people, and made so many friends this semester it's insane. My grades were "okay" but next semester I want them to be outstanding. Do I hear Dean's list? Who knows? I just wanna wake up everyday and better myself to the fullest extent. This was the toughest thing I've ever been through in my short life thus far, but I am so glad that I made it through and finished strong, but none of it would have been possible without the help and loyalty of the people I mentioned earlier, they are fuggin awesome! Oh yea I just picked up theater as a double major! I'm going to start acting and producing my own stuff! Be on the look out people! I dream big!
"You start off fast then you wheezin' in the back
So even if I slack, I got enough lead way...and I'm back, without leavin' I'm here, but you can't see him." -Jay-Z

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Let's Take a Walk (2008)

I wrote this in 2008, haven't changed a word.

Lets take a walk a day after we had freezin rain.
Step from school, to the bus, to the train.
To meet a lil lady drivin me insane.
Chai Tea in her hand, a lil spills on me causing a stain.
Walkin thru the frigid weather never felt better.
Standin next 2 sum1 makin me feel as warm as leather.
Sittin on the bench and read sum letters.
I'm wrappin up in my arms just like your sweater.
We walkin talkin lovin dreamin thru the market
On my last dollar, yet I feel rich with lint in my pocket
Priceless even, mom thinks shes at home so early she'll be leavin
Oh well, 5 minutes five hours rite?
Get home and talk 2 her til late in the nite
Lets take a walk thru the cut I got robbed in after our first fight
Cut up a sandwich and spill kool-aid on my shirt to get u rite lolz
Now the two walkin still walk 2gether, except one patiently waits and tries to calm down.
The other ventured off onto the bad side of town.
Where only pain awaits, and smiles turn to frowns
No ringling brothers but ahead is a clown.
The walk is now a run.
For love, for everything that was cried over, fought over, and argued over.
The lonely one waits and there she is comin over his shoulder.
Still with the same warmth, never got colder.
He'll always remain 4 her, never movin like a plastered down boulder.

Half of What You See.

Is the cup half full, or half empty? Is blue really blue, or blue blue because that is what we were told since birth? How do you know that red is not yellow, that green is not black, and purple is not white? My point is that as humans we were all taught something based on someone else's interpretation. Do not get me wrong, I know that the sky is blue, and that blue is blue...I mean it is all I know after all...but I would not necessarily call it factual. This past week on that fuckery of a site we call Facebook, which is struggling to stay relevant and interest, has had another fad touchdown and get everyone...or almost everyone to join in and participate. This recent craze was for users to change their profile pictures to their all-time favorite cartoon new or old. The reason behind it was supposedly to raise awareness and money for abused children. I was very skeptical at first about the whole thing, but hell when I started seeing my friends pictures go from being themselves to Reboot (remember that cartoon?!), classic Looney Toons, and old Nickelodeon toons characters I could not help but hop on the bandwagon and change my picture to Foghorn Leghorn...if you don't know who Foghorn Leghorn is, he is the big ass country rooster who was always fighting with the dog or trying to convince the little chicken hawk that he was not a hen. If you still don't know, you should be ashamed of yourself! My picture was changed up until about Monday night when I got a phone call from a friend who told me that the people who were responsible for the profile picture epidemic were in fact PEDOPHILES! It was all over the news apparently, and they say that they did it because having a cartoon as a picture appears more inviting and youthful to potential victims. I hate and despise pedophiles, fuck praying for em! You ever seen a pastor preach to Satan? Not in these parts! I immediately took down my picture, told my friends, and they followed suit...well most of them at least...I am pretty sure that a few of the people I went to high school or community college with are potential pedophiles anyway. They always did look at high school freshmen a bit odd. But I digress. They had all of us fooled! We saw "help abused children" and went ape shit and changed our pictures! Sure the whole event was a spectacular Saturday morning/Classic Nicktoon reunion amongst friends, but what bullshit! We all thought we were helping for a good cause, even though now money went toward the campaign, THANK GOD because we all would have been uberly pissed if we sent pedophiles money to spend on gas money for trips transportation to their young victims houses. Where the fuck is Chris Hansen when you need him! (Host of Datelines 'How to Catch a Predator') But the internet is filled with millions of ways to manipulate people's minds and tricking them into believe that they are doing good, when they are really doing more damage than imagined.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Been Aware, Take Action.

For the past couple of weeks I have been having the most vivid and horrifying nightmares beyond imagination. In one dream I damn near ran around the world to get things needed to save my mother from dying, and I failed tremendously. Then last night, I had a nightmare about a movie theater that was racist and the motherfuckers only had 6 parking spots! And to top it all off my dog (Gracie) somehow got so hurt that the bottom part of her jaw came off. She was laying in the floor just crying because she was in such pain, and the only way to take her out of her misery was to put her to sleep. I know that doesn't seem too bad, but when you actually see and hear something (an animal) that you are THAT close to in pain it has a way of shaking you up when you snap out of the nightmare. I actually enjoy my nightmares, they provide my nighttime entertainment, but as of lately, I am not a fan of who my nightmares have been starring...people or things that I love. But! I do have a nightmare that is prevalent even when I am awake, this nightmare is one that the world has been plagued with for decades now...HIV/AIDS...the worst part of the nightmare is that people are STILL ignorant to this day about the virus! It got Wilt Chamberlain, buried Eazy-E, capped Magic Johnson, ruined Africa, and is now beginning to affect millions under the age of 25! But yet people still have that "oh it could never happen to me." mentality. Why? I don't know! I hear some of my friends, both male and female say, "Condoms take away from the pleasure" "she's on the pill." or my all time fucking favorite! "we both know our status so what's the big deal?" Oh I don't know dumb ass, how about the slight possibility of infidelity with someone who actually DOES have the virus, and if you do know your status which is always a huge bonus, how about preventing unwanted pregnancies?! Yea the other OTHER P word that isn't just talking about genitalia. People lay down with just about anyone these days not really giving a damn about that persons previous sexual record or how fertile they are! Okay Okay, I'm just kidding about the fertility thing who can really judge that?, but seriously I know and have plenty of friends who absolutely hate their BABY MAMA or BABY "FOVA" who they hardly know because it was just suppose to be "a quick hook-up" <<<------WE HAVE GOT TO DO BETTER THAN THIS PEOPLE! Grow up, slap a condom on, use lube if you have to, and do like BET said back when it was actually cool to watch and "WRAP IT UP!" or in my own words, "WRAP IT THE FUCK UP!" I love sex! I love it by the pound! I'll be happy when they start selling that shit in cans! I cannot sit up here and act like I never rode in the car without my seat belt on before, because I have...and that is exactly why I sit my ass up there in the doctor's office and my room nervous every time I take a blood test or scared at the thought that my little soldiers (sperm) could have possibly gotten somebody pregnant...and the last time I did it without a condom was THE LAST TIME!...well the last time I'm doing it without protection until marriage. I know my status... and as of October I'm HIV negative and proud! The thing about the virus that frightens me most is knowing that is something that you just can't take a shot to kill, take a shower to wash off, or apply cream to and it will disappear in a few days...that shit is everlasting until they find this so-called cure; you wake up and go to bed with it becomes a part of your changes your life.

I am one of the believers who think that they have found a cure years ago? theory on where it came from does not matter to me. I took a human sexuality class a year ago and the book said that some people figured that the HIV/AIDS virus was "God's punishment to the gays", "it was put here to discipline horny teenagers", and that "came from two white men in Africa" (who the fuck can spot two white men in Africa?!) All of those sound very ignorant and far-fetched if you ask me. It does not matter where it came from, all that matters is how we can protect ourselves from it now and how to get it out of here in the future. The virus does not discriminate at all, even though some tend to think otherwise. Look who it has taken, look who it has in its grasp now! I'm damn well sure that you do not want to be a victim of something so easy to prevent; it is not like it is airborne or anything. Condoms are everywhere...their like the Starbucks of sex! There are plenty of places offering tests for free! And I know how much people LOVE free shit in these hard economic times! They do free testing at colleges, clinics, hell do something positive with YouTube if you have to and put your Trey Songz or Nicki Minaj impersonation on hold and find out how to construct a "do it yourself HIV test" yea they have that shit on YouTube and Google (who powers my blog), how accurate is it? I have the slightest clue...I'm pretty sure it is not the best method to discover your status...I'm pretty sure people have actually scared themselves shitless or killed themselves after finding a positive result after doing those at home tests. I wrote this post in lieu of World AIDS Day which is tomorrow (December 1st). I don't believe that awareness for anything should be designated for a certain day or month, but be a year round acknowledgment, especially one pertaining to the HIV/AIDS's bad enough that Black folk get the shortest calendar month of the fucking year! Oh lord! I sound like a Black Panther Jehovah witness lunatic who has a way with words! I doubt I will wear any red to represent tomorrow, because I think shit like that is to be trendy and kinda takes away from the seriousness of what tomorrow really represents...who knows? I may end up with something red on tomorrow. In the mean time, if your in a college dorm I'm sure they have a big ass jar at the check in desk in the lobby that says "take as many as you need" and Costco sells them in bundles of like a thousand!...go get them and if you have extras because this month you have been striking out...share! Hell! I don't know, give them to the kids in your neighborhood...yea the middle schoolers are fucking like rabbits these days too, watch the news and you would be amazed! Oh yea don't forget the lube!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

My Mama's Tears.

They running like the stole something
Something from your heart, your soul,
Running wild, frantic, outta control
I know the pain you feel because your eyes transmit it to my heart
A problem here, bullshit there, I don't know where to start.
You telling me "son stay in school, don't give up you're too smart!"
But when you're on the phone yelling at those assholes I too want to fall apart.
Act a fool knock back a drink with some pills, but I chill.
You deserve better than the hand you were dealt.
One car for five people! Man fuck a seatbelt!
I been out the window!
Leaping to bring you greater things because I know you're working just as hard as anyone I know.
Still shit piles on like last years snow!
Rise like dough, shine like crystals.
To knock down the barrier of strife and struggle your my missile.
Daddy died, mama cried.
Mama kept at it, if the women in the neighborhood gossiping your mama LIED!
My blessing, my blueprint, my backbone, my beautiful
Mama, queen, goddess, any other nouns are not suitable.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

What's the Rush Again?

Twitter! Facebook! It all consumes me...Twitter more than Facebook of course...they should have had a movie about Twitter first dammit! Who the hell sat there and thought to themselves "hmm...I want people to be aware of every though and action that is taking place in my life via internet...but how can I do this?" Whoever this intelligent fucker was, they were brilliant in creating this awesome site, raise the roof! But what I have noticed from Twitter is that everybody has a different interpretation of love. Yes LOVE...AMOR...SARANG...MAHAL...AMOUR...ELSKE...or my favorite RAKASTAA! But it seems that everyone is in a rush to do things when it comes to romance! Not just dating, sex, or hanging out...but marriage which is really scary. People are so quick to label their boyfriend or girlfriend of 2 months or 2 weeks as their "husband" or "wife" whoa whoa whoa! When the fuck did simple pet names become synonyms for the the establishment of marriage! Marriage, is becoming the new hell, let alone a joke! No wonder so many people would rather stay in long term relationships rather than making a legal transaction of vows and rings. Most marriages these days are unfortunately ending in divorce or are filled with physical and verbal forms domestic violence and the all too infamous form of betrayal...cheating. I think most people are in love with the idea of marriage...thank your television ladies and gentlemen! Thank the idiot box for promoting the most false images of what marriage is these days. Sure marriage on television looks all lovey dovey, but even Marge and Homer know how to talk and work their problems out, they don't assume that the situation will just blow over and disappear all of a sudden. I am not against the idea of marriage by any means, I do eventually want a wife and family of my own one day...but I damn sure do not want anything of the sort right now while I am in school working on being prepared for the real-world, or this damn economy that is making school a safe haven from the real-world. Thank God I now have the desire to pick up a double major next semester. I am currently a TV production major, and to compliment it I will double-major in theater! Yes I like to be in front of the camera, but I digress. I had a conversation with a young girl not too long ago, troubled most of her life, and she told me that she was going to have this dudes baby to keep him around and possibly to have a family with him. Damn shame this is the mentality of so many other young girls in the country who feel they have to have a child young to keep a guy around for love and affection. With the way my species (Men) are going about things these days, having a baby is almost like spraying repellent around yourself. I've sat in many youth awareness groups and the topic of men dating women with children arose, and most of the boys in the group reacted like lunatics shouting out "aww hell no!" Me personally, it doesn't is not like the girl I'm interested in is asking me to raise her kid or be the father, but you must understand that that child's father could possibly be around her when it comes time to spend time with the child, and whether you like it or not, that is the way it is. Can you handle the presence of another man who has shared romance with the girl your interested in is the issue...are you that mature and secure? I know I'm not that is why I try not to get involved with women with kids...even though I'll admit I have the biggest crush on a girl who just had a kid...what can I say? She's gorgeous...sue me! You can't help who you or not...sometimes I think it's unfair for people write-off people who are young with kids. You see it all the fucking time! But anyways...back to the point...we are far too young to be worried about relationships and MARRIAGE while we are all trying to better ourselves for the future and change the world...the relationship possibilities will be there what's the rush? For those in relationships right now, madly in love, at a young age....I wish you all the best and hope it lasts...but keep your eyes on the prize and trust me it isn't necessarily the person you call your significant other.

Monday, November 8, 2010

You ever Have the Feeling Like You're Being Robbed?

"I ain't scared of you muthafuckas!...I'm tired of the shit!" Words spoken by the late GREAT Bernie Mac on Def Comedy Jam sometime ago in the 1990's. It sucks that a comedian of his caliber is now deceased and that our kids kids will never know how influential and awesome his comedy and content was. I went home this past Friday to see my family and relax for the weekend, like I usually do...or try to do. I have been living in and out of a suitcase for the past month or so around campus (Towson University) at friends dorms and apartments. I just want them to know that I truly appreciate them so much for giving me a place to stay. As soon as I get my money together for my tags and my car repairs, I want to treat them to something nice...or better yet get them all something for Christmas...they deserve it for being that damn generous...and Christmas season is right around the corner. So, when I was home I decided to go to the city and go for a nice long walk to relax my mind for a bit; things have been so hectic at home lately since my sister got put out and sent to Virginia, and honestly I cannot stand going home at is always some sort of issue waiting for me as soon as I drop my bags in the fourer. But this past Friday, I did not have to wait til I got home for my problems to begin. The problem I faced was a universal problem felt by thousands throughout the area actually, the MetroRail system.

I do not know where to start with these assholes! They are like a drug! Everybody knows they are no good whatsoever, but everybody keeps running back to them more and more because without it we would lose our damn minds!...Oh I know...I'll start with the trip back home to Largo! I waited at the Metro Center stop for damn near 30 minutes for a train to pull into the fucking station! on a Friday! After that the train moved all of five stops maybe and then I end up at Eastern Market, stuck for forty-five minutes! Why?! Because these assholes ultimately decided to start doing track work for Saturday on a Friday night! Who does that?! To make matters worse, they made all of us customers go above ground and catch a fucking shuttle to another location! Now I'm not afraid of being in bad neighborhoods...but there is a line that needs to be drawn when you take a couple hundred aggitated, frustrated, and tired individuals and drop them off on Benning Road! Benning Road isn't the toughest, by far isn't that threatening, but the combination was one for disaster! For some reason the Metro always wants to run slower or shut down stations ON WEEKENDS when it's patrons utilize it the most to head to malls or the city for events. The Metro's excuse for the delays and shut down stations? Track maintenance. The Metro has been doing track maintenance for almost five years now, when does the fuckery end?! The rails are not broken, they are not bound by dead bodies, no trains have crashed within the last year...what is the fucking maintenance for?! Now for some reason, Metro has ironically increased their fares with the decrease in customer satisfaction and ain't that a beotch?! I remember when I use to cost all of $1.35 minimum to ride the less than six years the minimum has increased to $ sixty cents may not seem like much, but imagine you were a tourist with a family (kids included) that sixty hike per fare card can be a bit costly when you plan on going to various destinations for a trip, or if you are a local who just wants to mall hop on a Saturday. It's just unfair to everybody! I won't even begin to speak about the differences in on-peak and off peak fares! I'm not going to go into my grandparents world and talk about how "back in my day things were so much cheaper..." because I am far too young to be talking like that...but I will say that I understand what my grandparents mean when they say "shit just cost too damn much these days!" I don't know if you have been following the news, but a 65 year old karate teacher and military veteran in Brooklyn, NY ran for governor of New York in last weeks elections with the campaign slogan of "The Rent is Too Damn High"...the guy literally looked like Colonel Sanders (aka the KFC Man) Did he win the election? Hell no! But he did get 24,000+ votes from the people who agreed with his notions that the rent in NYC is in fact "Too damn High!" Just like the fares for the Metro! Have they even selected a president or head of Metro yet? Last time I heard they were forming a fucking "selection committee" to basically come in and recruit a person who is qualified for the job...where the hell is where the hell is Craiglist?! Where the hell is the hiring manager?! I had a government job over the summer, and they paid for my fare on the Metro...but I must say as a taxpayer and a person who knows other tax payers whose tax dollars go to funding the Metro, I feel shitty knowing that our money goes toward nothing positive! I swear to God this Purple Line they are now constructing better have God embedded in the tracks or I am going to begin a personal boycott of this Metro system! I would love to encourage others to begin considering a boycott of their own, but I'm not trying to inspire a revolt against a system that damn near everyone in the working-class utilizes in the DMV area. I just wish that the Metro would stop raising the prices and lowering their grade of service!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

I Won't Kill It For Fun, But a Cause.

So apparently Lil Wayne is out of jail...I'm happy to see another entertainer set free. Hopefully Lil Wayne doesn't lapse back into the system like is ATL buddy T.I. Wow! For some king T.I. is quite the jackass and quite the stereotypical negro; As soon as you get out of prison your ass is going right back! It's a fucking shame actually, all that money and not a damn common sense brain cell to save his life! I have actually grown to like Lil Wayne even more while he was locked up (Ironically)...after bullshitting watching countless YouTube videos of the guy giving interviews and recording in the studio, it is safe to say that I respect his work habit and character. I also respect the guys dedication to being a good father, you don't hear of too many rappers doing that these days...even though they say it a million times throughout their music..I don't believe em! Actions speak louder than words. I do not know how many kids he has exactly, but the last time I checked it was three. But who knows nowadays with these entertainers...they have as many kids out there as they do cars or "hoes on their dick". Lil Wayne getting out of the slammer has shed great light on what people have been doing with their free time though. The infamous "Free Weezy" campaign is still in full effect for some reason, I guess people just don't like letting go. Once he gets out people probably will want him to go right back in to keep up the campaign and have use for those God-awful t-shirts that they wasted all that money on. People via twitter have hash tagged the idea of what Lil Wayne's first Tweet will be by creating the trending topics "#WeezysFirstTweetFromJail".

But that is the way of Twitter these days, at least people are finally getting back to trending things rather than worrying about followers and listing and tweet counts. Another bittersweet part of Weezy's release from jail has been the goddamn Fail Whale on Twitter! It seems that anytime a momentous occasion takes place in the world or pop-culture, Twitter always goes over capacity (this would never happen on Facebook or the late great MySpace...excuse my sarcasm) because so many people are tweeting or giving their insight or two cents on whatever the situation may be. Twitter usually goes over capacity during sporting events, TV show premieres, or when something in the movie or music industry goes on. Notice how Twitter didn't go over -capacity on election day or damn near the entire month of October for Breast Cancer Awareness Month...or during the WNBA Finals if you want to get comical with it. That speaks great tones about our generations priorities as far as current events are concerned.I personally HATE THAT FUCKING WHALE! The fat bastard! Somebody want to explain how the fuck this whale is being held up by birds with strings in their beaks?! It's all fuckery to me! What pisses me off even more is how people who suck at tweeting are part of the capacity problem! Thanks Twitter...for nothing! I have decided to go mobile for the day to do my tweeting until all the Lil Wayne hype dies down. In the mean time, I am going to go sharpen my tools and go spear that fat fucking whale and Twitpic it dammit!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Clearwater Excursions. (1304 Memoir)

In life, I think when things don't go as planned, it creates the most grand opportunity for something awesome to take place. In February of 2009, I was introduced to 5 of the most awesome people to ever come into my life. I'm going to start with my roommate first, Ross was from Dallas, hated the Cowboys, and kept me updated with the music. It was pretty funny finding out Ross was going to be my roommate because while we were in line for our background checks, he was the loudest most sociable fucker in the room! I mean he spoke to every person who looked at him! Luckily, me and him got along just fine throughout The Program. Oh the program I am speaking of is the Disney College Program...probably one of those few blessings in my life that I was not expecting by any means. Then their was the cocky and too cool Galwyn or Galweezy as I called him. Galwyn was a running back from Kentucky who actually played REAL COLLEGE FOOTBALL (Western Kentucky University)...none of that semi-pro bullshit. Then you had Damon, from Pittsburgh, who made you laugh every time he opened up his mouth or gave his point of view simply because of the way he would say shit. I came into the program with those three guys, on that rainy February day in Orlando, FL. Once we got to the apartment we were all assigned to, we walk in the apartment and see this white dude sitting at the dining room table with headphones on and sweater vest singing Anthony Hamilton sounding like a Black dude. I was a bit weirded out and amazed at the same time because he sang those Anthony Hamilton songs damn near perfect! His name was Jim, he was Chicago...and he could be a bit of a shopaholic at times, and hot head as well. Jim got up from the dining room table, went in his room, and announced "hey! They're here man!" and through the doorway comes another white dude wearing swim trunks with the look of exhaustion and misery on his face.(I emphasize "white dude" because this was my first time living away from home, and my very first time rooming with people of a different color, it was new to me." This was Ryan, he was from Upstate New York and there was never a dull moment with this guy. A simple trip to the grocery store or outlet mall was damn near an X-Games event; dude was too fucking cool and new EVERYBODY! And of course you have me, the guy who hopped of the plane still intoxicated from the previous weekends "going away party" festivities. His name was Foster, and he was always on joke time. Together we were simply 1304...which is, if you haven't guessed by now, or are too fucking slow...our apartment number (Tattoo pending). We were pretty much like brothers, in a dysfunctional sense...we were all from different upbringings, different social environments, and very very different as far as personalities go, but we made it work somehow and ended up making it through 6 months of craziness without killing each other. Now Jim, Galwyn, and I were basically thick as thieves (we called ourselves "The Rat Pack" I was Dean Martin, Galwyn was Sammy Davis Jr. and Jim was Frank Sinatra), anything we did was usually done together. Ross & Damon would usually join but their work schedules were either too busy or they just had other shit to do, or they just did not want to hang with us. There were sometimes we had little disagreements that turned to very tense and huge arguments, but that was bound to happen when you group six of the most insane people together for six months. I remember one day, Galwyn and Jim came to me with the idea for us to go to Clearwater Beach for a day and just see the sites and get away from Disney for a bit. When I say the Disney life can be a bit overwhelming I am not understating it, seeing that damn mouse some days can be nerve-wrecking. The Orlando/Kissimmee area is just FLOODED with Disney paraphernalia everywhere you go! I was on-board with the whole notion of getting away for at least a day, it was just which day which was the issue. I was only off on Tuesdays for class, and Wednesdays just because that is how my schedule was built. It was a Thursday night, and I was just getting back to 1304, I was miserable and tired as hell! Jim, Galwyn, and Ryan damn near attacked me as soon as I got in the door and insisted that we hit the road that night and head to Clearwater, get a room, stay a night, and hang out the whole day. I was not going for it at all...I had to work the next day and I did not want to call out AGAIN! I had called out at least once or twice every month just because Jim & Galwyn were always up to something awesome while I was working. But peer pressure is a motherfucker!...Especially when it came from Jim, Galwyn, and myself, we are so awesome at convincing people to go against their will. Oh I have countless stories and examples that I will save for another post. I ran in my room and grabbed shit that I thought I need for the trip, I have always been a person that OVER PACKS for small trips...I ended up packing a duffel bag with like five different outfits and 3 pairs of shoes. I walked out of the room with this big ass bag full of shit and got clowned immediately! I went back and just packed a book bag of shit instead. We got in the truck (her name was Jenny...Forrest Gump inspired...that was our movie!) and thought of how the hell all of us were going to fit in the truck. It was Chevy Blazer...and literally..the cool thing about it was that it had no back windshield over the trunk. Jenny was the most reliable piece of anything we had at 1304, Galwyn was to awesome for giving us rides in that damn truck. Anywhere we needed to go, he took us, and hardly asked for gas money. Jenny had her maintenance issues at times but shit she was a soldier and lasted all 6 months we were down there nonetheless. We had to go to another apartment complex to pick up Galwyn's co-workers and Jim, Ryan, and my newly acquired friends Egypt and Kayla from Vista Way. Down at Disney if you lived at Vista Way, you were almost guaranteed a party at least once or twice a week. Vista way had actually been listed in Playboy Magazine as being one of the easiest places to get laid in America. Egypt was Brooklyn born but lived in South Carolina and was spoiled rotten! Kayla was from Wisconsin and loved her steaks rare...which I always found strange as hell, we always went back and forth on the issue. We all packed up inside of that truck and headed right across the street to the gas station. Luckily the gas station had a 7-Eleven attached to it. So I decided to get my ass up and go get some food. Jim looked at me like I was crazy because I was going to mess up how everyone had gotten comfortable. It was obvious that me and Jim were being assholes towards each other and we were both irritable at the time. I went in 7-Eleven, came back pissed off because that sorry ass 7-Eleven didn't have shit that I wanted to eat! I got in the truck and went the hell to sleep with my iPod playing! Ryan was laying in the bed of the trunk surrounded by our bags n stuff, which was totally illegal...but hey that is how 1304 gets down! About two or three hours later, I wake up and see Galwyn, Jim, and Ryan standing outside of the truck looking confused and frustrated as hell...I also see flashing lights...and my first thought was "oh shit! we got pulled over because Ryan was in the trunk!" All of a sudden I see Galwyn drop some sort of tool from his hand and walk away frustrated. I got out to see what's going on, and then Jim tells me that the tire had come loose while they were driving, he said that the truck had started to rattle while we were making our way down the highway. It turns out, that the tire was only hanging on by ONE lug nut and was close to falling off while we were driving. I do not even want to begin to think about what could have happened if that last little lug nut would have come off, but thank God that it didn't. Being 1304, we made comedy of the situation and took a shitload of pictures and did crazy shit while we were alongside the shoulder. I remember Ryan actually decided to change his pants while we were on the shoulder. We waited for the AAA people to show up with the tow truck, before they showed up Jim & I ran across this 8 lane highway to go ask the night time construction crew if they were willing to help us or lend us some tools. They gave us some tools, but they didn't work. They came over to help us once they were done laying the pavement, and that didn't help either. We were pretty much fucked until AAA got there. When the AAA guy got there, it did not help us knowing that only two people could ride with the guy to the nearest mechanic, but we had two-hundred twenty-five miles for spare. Luckily there was a mechanic about a quarter-mile behind us. We told Egypt and Kayla to ride in the tow-truck (because that is what gentlemen do) and we would meet them there since it was only a short walk. We crossed the highway again, and walked up this steep ass hill, then we started walking through this creepy ass neighborhood that was reminiscent of old slave land where they traditionally lynched people, I'm just saying...the Confederate flags hanging in the windows of some of the homes were pretty convincing and creepy. Ryan decided to scare us shitless by secretly picking up a small rock and heaving it at a stop sign making all of us run like we had never run before. Galwyn was carrying the GPS so we knew where we were going exactly. We reached our destination, and it was nothing like we expected. Th mechanic was self-employed, so his work was done out of his home...and he did not open for another 3 whole hours. I don't know what it was, but waiting in that damn neighborhood until sunrise did not seem possible for my peace of mind. We talked it over with the girls and asked if they felt comfortable staying there...they sad "HELL NO!" to that notion. So we talked to the tow-truck driver and told him we wanted to go to Meineke to get the shit fixed...he told us the closest one was 8 miles away. We told him that we did not mind the walk at all, this was definitely desperation talking. He told us that it was going to be a LONG 8 MILES of walking. The tow-truck driver scratched his head, took a deep breath, and said "I'm not suppose to do this, but I wanna help you guys out. I'll tell ya what...get in the Blazer, keep your heads down, and I'll take you guys to Tampa to the Meineke."

We all looked at each other like we were little kids who finally made the height to ride the big kid roller coasters. Me, Jim, Galwyn, and Ryan hopped in that damn truck, ducked our heads and made our way to Tampa Bay to get the car fixed. It was the most bumpy ride ever! But it was an awesome experience. We were riding in a truck that was on a tow-truck! How many people do you know that can say they have done that?! We got to Meineke, dropped the truck off in the parking lot, and went across the street to one of the most cool looking McDonald's I had ever been too. We ate, we laughed and joked about what we had just been through, and took small naps inside of this McDonald's. When we woke up, we went to Meineke, played jokes on whoever fell asleep, got new Lug Nuts, and headed to Clearwater Beach where there were dolphins in the water and pelicans scooping up their food out of the water a few feet from where we were swimming. I had never had an experience like this in my life. After we were done at the beach, we went to a restaurant that caught all of our attention since it was based on our favorite movie at the time FORREST GUMP the restaurant was BubbaGump Shrimp Co. I felt so bad for Ryan and Kayla..their skin was damn near as red as the sauce they served with the shrimp. Jim was beginning to feel the burn as well, but not as bad as Kayla and Ryan were. Egypt and Galwyn were even beginning to feel their skin itch and I found this incredibly weird because I had never know of any brown-skinned or dark-skinned people to get sun burns. But, I guess there is a first time for everything as they say.The ride back to Orlando seemed like it took an eternity because everyone was so uncomfortable being sun burnt and all. I think I was the only one who wasn't really feeling anything. My skin felt dry, but not really burnt. We got home finally around, two in the morning and we were exhausted...Ross & Damon were in their rooms sleep. Jim and Ryan went to their rooms walking slowly as possible to prevent their skin from burning, and Galwyn passed out in his bed. I was on the couch watching TV and talking on the phone when I heard Jim & Ryan calling for me asking me to run to Walgreen's to buy them some day Aloe for their skin...they said I could buy whatever the hell I wanted out of the twenty dollars they had given me, as long as I made the trip for them...I went and got myself an Arizona out of the deal. I came back and Jim, Galwyn, and Ryan treated that Aloe like it was crack for the skin! The next couple of days we told this story like were were warriors of some sort who had just made an amazing this day...this story is still one we love to tell to people around us and each other as well.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

It's Not That Hard. Simplicity.

Can I get an encore! do you want more?!...I swear Jay-Z's The Black Album was one of the best things to ever happen to Hip Hop, even though he fooled us all into thinking he really retired back in 2003. Oh well, the king is here to stay I suppose, even though it's so much speculation on his the best MC in modern day and OF ALL TIME! who cares?! I was on Twitter earlier today, like I am everyday, and I read a tweet from one of my most awesome followers (@theprettybitchh). She said "people think if they buy me things and take me to all these places that impresses me but I'm really into doing simple things like the zoo". When I read this I was just humbled because WE NEED MORE PEOPLE like this in society; people who appreciate the little, non-flashy, simplistic things in life. I was especially blown away because this goes to prove the point that people do not want much when it comes to dating and courtship. Nowadays, I hear too much fuckery about how dudes spend incredible amounts of money just to impress females or get a compliment. My grandfather would have my head! I wish I muthafuckin would buy a new outfit, an expensive dinner, and jewelry just to be paid a compliment or have an attempt at getting a smile out of a female. The problem is, people don't believe in themselves any more when it comes to the opposite sex, our generation has to speak through money instead of their own fucking mouths! It's a shame! I hear of guys serenading women in jewels and buying them these outrageously priced dinners just to have a shot at a little piece of ass! I'm pretty sure that the females that go on these dates are pressured as well, not all of them though, because there are in fact a shit load of gold diggers out there! I have heard from a few females friends that they feel as if they think that the guy expects something after dinner or the entire date to reward his incredible showing of this bank account or last pay check. Whatever it may be, most girls that I have spoken to said that the fancy dates and things are not going to get these guys anywhere but a pair of blue balls and a lowered bank account. They didn't say those words exactly, but that is what the fuck I drew from it. I'm not the one to brag but most of the dates I have been on have been simple dates like a long walk, swimming, dinner & a movie (classic, and the classics never die!), or do the group date thing (those are always fun and less tense) and not had a single complaint or left anyone dissatisfied. I remember I was on a double-date with one of my friends and he was sitting there trying his hardest to impress this girl he was interested in by taking her to Cheesecake Factory for a first I'm gonna digress here for a bit, because Cheesecake Factory is not necessarily the ideal first date's more like a "we're in a relationship so I don't mind it let's celebrate" kinda place, not for first dates. But this jackass decides to challenge, almost dare his date to order the most expensive thing on the menu. He was pretty adamant about his approach too, he literally said, "You can order whatever you like on this menu, I don't care if it's the New York Strip Steak itself! Matter of fact, you can even order an appetizer if you like!" I'm sitting across the table looking at this fool wondering if he really knows what the hell he just did. He had just set the bar for what she is possibly going to expect on each date from this point on. Never mind the fact that the New York Strip is 27.99, and the appetizers start at damn near eight dollars and he works a part-time job! Being his friend, I could easily see the front that he was putting up, and how much he really believed that spending big money on dinner was going to be the big pay-off. I could also read his dates face, it was obvious to see that she took him for a fool who was willing to do anything for her attention and affection; she was also very disinterested in him, it was obvious. So after dinner we all piled in his car and headed home. Him and his date sat in the front and my date and I sat in the back. On the way home, I noticed that the ride was a bit longer than usual, but I did not give two shits...I was enjoying holding and talking to my date...she was too sweet. This idiot on the other hand was being the biggest creep ever! He had the Al Green playing all low in the background and making very weird, verbal sexual advances toward his date. We pulled up to her house first, and as he got out to open her door he gave me the thumbs up as if he were about to score a touchdown with her vagina or something. He walked her to her door, she opened the door, thanked him for the evening, and walked the fuck in the house! My date and I were in the car cracking up at what we had just witnessed. He walked back to the car and told us some dumb ass reason as to why she did not let him in her house. I think the story was :oh she was on her period and her mom said she can't have company this late." It was clearly 8p.m. Based on the events that had taken place beforehand it was obvious that she just wasn't interested in him and that he damn near scared her off by posing to be somebody he was not. The next stop was my dates house, I walked her to her door and got a kiss, and she went in. My friend is sitting in the car looking uberly mad for some reason...go figure right? I walk back to the car with the biggest grin on my face, almost in the form of a gloat, and asked him why he was so mad. He told me it was because he felt like a dumb ass for wasting all that money. I agreed with him, and told him everything that he did wrong on the date; I'm no Hitch or anything but I think I can understand and clearly see why he did not get far with her at all. I noticed that she had not once smiled him either, but you can't tell someone it's wrong when they are convinced that what they are doing is right. Point is, dating should be a fun, mutual, and tension-free environment where the only impressions should be coming from the eyes and the words being spoken, not the wallet or the location of the date. So for all the guys out there who think they need to be new this and that, I-gotta-buy-her-expensive-shit-in-order-for-her-to-like-me I would like to take this time out to tell you that you look like a jack ass! Peace to Red Foreman and Bob Barker!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

...After the Storm. The Sun Came Out.

After the passing of my father in the summer of 2002, I was faced with a far greater challenge than learning to cope with death. This challenge was the eighth grade (Bring in the horror movie soundtrack!), where the girls got prettier over summer time and developed some sort of attractive features (i.e. ass and tatties), and the popular crowd was becoming far more accessible for people like myself, or so I thought. I never really belonged to any specific crowd before; I have always been an individual that for the most part, most people seemed to usually like me overall. I never been one of those people to address that fuckery of a noun HATERS…what the fuck is a HATER?! That was a bit rhetorical; I know what the hell a hater is. Do I have them is the question. Do I care is the bigger question, and if I have had them fuck them. I think our generation is too obsessed with using people who dislike them as an advantage to gain popularity. That is all you hear in these damn rap songs these days “hater nigga this, hater bitch that…” shut the fuck up! You don’t hear Lady Gaga talking about haters and nonsense like that. She has plenty of people, who hate her and cannot stand her, but you don’t see her addressing them; she does her thing and puts out more and more good music unlike the ones who address em. Side note, you don’t see Jay-Z doing it either, well blatantly at least. But, the eighth grade was a year I swore up and down was going to be different from all the rest unlike sixth and seventh grade. I think eighth grade year was the first time I had set goals and accomplished each and every one that I had laid out. I remember during the first month of school in my science class, which was a BEOTCH, we did not have a permanent teacher yet, so the school gave us a sub for the first month of school. When I say Mr. Ward was by far one of the coolest substitute teachers I have ever had, I ain’t lying! (50 Tyson voice). Mr. Ward was a young dude, made hip hop beats, and never dressed up for class…he always had on jeans n shit. I remember one class I met one of the most intimidating yet awesome female MC’s ever! Her name was Esra; she rhymed with the logic of Nas with the pace of Bizzy Bone. She was awesome. We were doing introductions in class and Mr. ward was reading over our hobbies, and he saw that Esra like to rap; he immediately asked her stand up and “spit a lil somethin somethin” for the class. Looking at her, you could easily see that she was nervous and very timid in her approach to the front of the class. Mr. Ward asked for somebody to make a beat on the table top and he was going to beat box along with the beat. The beat got started and Esra began to nod her head to see where she was going to start in accordance with the beat. Her head nodded harder and harder, and then it came out! She sat there nodding her head in all sorts of directions and these awesome combinations of words started to come out, and they rhymed brilliantly! I felt chills run through my body bar after bar. At Key Middle school, it was not uncommon to get in trouble for having freestyle sessions at lunch. It caused such a lovely riot, yet at the same time a ton of hostility if you got roasted while battling somebody. The table I sat at with my friends, primarily my neighborhood friends (Good Hope!) and a few other random people, but it was all cool. I remember the table that was behind us was an all girl table that we constantly got into shit with! It’s funny how things turn out, because one of the girls who sat at that table is now one of my good friends. During a lunch table freestyle session it really didn’t matter who went, as long as they said something funny or cool. I remember one day my friend Donny asked me did I want to battle Esra for fun…I said “hell no!” I could not fade getting embarrassed at lunch again in middle school! It was already bad enough that back in eighth grade I cried when a white girl dumped me on the first day of class. One of my most specific goals that year was to make the basketball team; it had been almost like a dream of mine since the sixth grade. The coach from sixth and seventh grade was an asshole that wouldn’t let sixth graders try out for the team, or was that the school policy? Eighth grade was full of basketball! I played for the rec. team, I played street ball daily, our rec. team was damn near unbeatable so we had to play Boys and Girls Club, and when we won a championship there we upgraded to AAU (the Mecca of youth sports). I remember the day tryouts were held…you want to talk about being a nervous wreck, sweet lord cheeses! I was sweating bullets before we began the drills. Everybody wondered why I was so damn nervous, I mean my gym teacher was the basketball coach and anytime we got to play basketball in gym I tried my hardest to show off and showcase my skills. I remember the day we got called to coaches office where Coach Rey gave us our slips telling us if we made the team of not. I think that day had to be the most nerve-wrecking day of my life thus far! I left his office with the piece of paper folded in my hand, thinking to myself “you made it, you made it…don’t worry, you made it.” I hit the corner that led to the stairwell and opened up the folded sheet of paper and there it was, I MADE THE TEAM! I was now a Key Eagle! After that all I could think about was how proud my dad would have been of me that day. He always pushed me to go after what I wanted even if I do not succeed at least I can say I tried my hardest. I’m not going to give the details of practice, how much playing time I got (which was minimal), my first basket, or who we played each game. All I can say is this, our team made Montgomery County history as far as Middle School sports go. We were the first team to go undefeated and average seventy plus points per game, even though we did not face our rivals, Banneker Middle, which was a game everyone on the team and within the student body wanted to see. Being on the basketball team had a bit to do with that newfound popularity that I had gained that year too. It was almost overwhelming in a sense. The next thing I knew is that I could not walk down a hallway without getting a handshake from the dudes or a hug from the girls. It was one girl that I had wanted to hug for the longest time though, her name was Laila. My friends use to clown me all the time for having a crush on her…I think she is the reason I have a thing for girls with braces. It all started in the sixth grade when she asked me to hold her books while she figured out her locker combination, we didn’t exchange names or anything…I just took the books and glanced at her here and there. It took me three years to say actual words to her and get some sort of positive response. I had my few run-ins with her before. The first time was at outdoor-education where my friend Diego ran over to her and told her that I said her and went out. She came over and BOMBED MY ASS OUT by repeatedly telling me that we WERE NOT A COUPLE; the public humiliation sucked. The funny thing about Francis Scott Key Middle School’s dances that were thrown every couple of months were that once you bought a ticket you were handed a school directory. The school directory was such a gift and a curse when communicating with the opposite sex. I remember one day, calling Laila up unexpectedly and asking if she wanted to go see a movie Saturday…I immediately got hung up on. Then the eighth grade rolled around, and ironically I bumped into her and her friend Lauren at the movies. My friends and I were walking back up the hill to the mall at the movies and she and Lauren were headed to the Checkers that sat on the top of the hill as well. I got into the mall with my friends, and then acted like I was hungry. Now being that I had just ate a few minutes before, my friends looked at me like I was insane and taunted me and called me FAT! I went into the Checkers and pretended that I did not see her or Lauren sitting there eating, and then it happened! She asked me to sit down with them. I had never been so happy and nervous at the same time, but I felt like after years of trying and trying to get this girls attention that this was my moment! I sat and conversed and forced myself to eat this food that I honestly did not want to eat, but oh well. The conversation lasted so long that my friends had actually left the mall to come look for me. These fools stormed in and already knew what was going on. The teased me a bit but they were not blatant enough to get Laila or Lauren to understand what was going on. I think Lauren knew though. After we left the mall I went home with the biggest smile on my face. I got home and laid down for a bit and then thought about resorting back to that damn directory and calling her just to see if I could squeeze some more conversation out of the evening. I called her, she picked up, I could hear Lauren in the background talking or doing something, and Laila said that she was going to call me back. At this point I was like “oh I know what that means” I had already learned from older kids that when someone says “they’ll call you back” it typically means that they won’t call you back. But too my luck a few hours later, while I was sleeping, my phone rang! I woke up, talked with this awesome girl I had had a “thing” for since the first day I met her. I do not remember exactly what the basis of the conversation was or how long we talked, all I know is that on Monday I got my first hug from her and on that Saturday we hung out at the movies for the first time, not by coincidence. It was the beginning of one of my most memorable and cherished friendships...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

I Think It's Safe To Say.

I am back! New attitude, new outlook on life, and new posts coming for y'all! The past couple weeks have been far tougher than I could have ever imagined. I finally got myself a car, 99 grey Nissan Sentra, named Kalmia. I don't really know why I named it that...I saw the name on 16Th street in DC and I just really liked the name. The car has been a bit stressful as far as maintenance goes...I mean the engine runs superb, but the body was a bit banged out. Luckily some asshole hit me at a McDonald's drive thru and I was able to take the money the insurance company gave me, after being stifling little assholes about the ordeal, (FUCK PROGRESSIVE INSURANCE COMPANY! I don't care how nice that weird lady is on the commercial) and hook my car up with some body work. My household has not been the most peaceful place to stay, since my mom put my little sister out for fucking up once again. At least I can say that my sister is in a far better place than PG County though. I find it sad that a majority of these teenage girls in PG County are far too fast and trusting when dealing with sex and who they interact with. I do not know what the standard is in these young girls minds when it comes to choosing dudes to date or even consider talkin to. I may sound like an old ass man as you are reading this, but what ever happened to decency? What ever happened to good hygiene? What the hell happened to CHIVALRY! I swear, as an avid user of public transportation, it pisses me the fuck off the the fullest extent when I see a train full of people, and there are women standing and men sitting down as if it is okay. Stand your ass up and let that woman sit down! The sad part is some of the dudes sitting down act as if they are entitled to sit there before a woman. My grandma would have tore me a new asshole if she saw that I didn't give up my seat to a woman or better yet, a woman carrying a child. When I do give up my seat on the bus or train the other people look at me as if I have lost my Goddamn mind! fuck off! I'm sorry for doing the right thing, I just feel wrong if I don't, and I have this annoying little old woman sitting on my shoulder yelling in my ear saying "nigga you better get up before I make you get up and go cut a switch!" Don't sit there and act like you never had to cut your OWN SWITCH for YOUR OWN ASS WHOOPING! My grandma did not play that bullshit when it came to me, my brother, and my sister and how we treated people. But back to the issue of dating standards. These days it seems like the more you disrespect yourself and other people, the more people are attracted to you...or are they attracted to the thought of the amount of attention they may get while they are with a person like that? Nobody enjoys a chase of someone worth having anymore. It's like fastfood, everybody wants to eat, but nobody wanst to put time in the kitchen to cook up a healthy meal that will last a few days and do teh body, so they resort to soemthing cheap, unhealthy, quick, and easy to satisfy their hunger. Whatever the excuse may be, it is a fucking shame! There is nothing more heartbreaking and disappointing than decent person with the most rowdy, loud, rude, and obnoxious being imaginable. i can't help but look at myself in the mirror and ask "damn what the fuck are you doing wrong Mr. Wright?' But this is typical in the area I'm from...The DMV (DC, Maryland, Virginia). I would be asinine to think that these standards existed only in the DMV; I'm sure it exists in other cities, it's probably worldwide, but I do not know of other places, just here. I remember last semester at my old school PGCC, Go OWLS! (Prince George's Community College) my club (GEEK) held a forum called "Battle of the Sexes" to debate issues that come up between men and women all too often. Typical PGCC, we got some of the most dumbass responses from a few men on the panel, and the women answered in the most basic annoying fashion. Turns out that they liked bad boys...I mean everybody wants somebody with a little edge, but I would hope that they wouldn't want a person with a jail record, more than one baby mama, and zero respect for the English language (I hate people who have terrible grammar)...I was so wrong. But people are going to like what they like regardless of all the signs that display how bad it is for your are hanging right in their faces or not, like cigarettes. I will admit, I miss my sister and I hope she gets back on the right path. We all hurt, but there is a certain line that you do not cross to express your frustration. My mom is stressing over the issue, which is understandable. The whole ordeal was unbelievable, lots of words exchanged, about 95% of them were hurtful...and the fact that all of this shit happened on a Sunday was even more disturbing. It is not like I do not know where my sister is, she's in VA with my dad's side of the fam, and knowing them, they are gonna straighten her ass out just right. I think that's called TOUGH LOVE. I think more people need that kind of love, I honestly believe our society is so damn bad because of these nonchalant parents raising these bad ass kids however the kids desire to be raised. It's like they scared to whip they kid ass! Punk ass laws n shit about what is and what isn't appropriate in regards to raising kids. Half these politicians who make these laws and sign these bills know damn well they hate the fact that putting their kid in "time-out" did nothing more than bring their kid up to be hooked on hard drugs, have unwanted pregnancies, or commit suicide. Time-out is for BEOTCHES! I am so glad to be back writing and posting more blogs. I have literally been too stressed to write, but day by day, things are getting much better. It feels good to be back feeling good.

Monday, August 30, 2010


..."I'm coming straight outta Compton! Crazy Motherfucker named FOSTER!" Oops. Sorry, it is #MusicMonday on Twitter and my iPod is in heavy rotation right now, and sometimes I like to infuse my name into my favorite songs every now and then just to be loopy. It feels like I have not posted a blog in the longest fucking time! Well I do have an excuse...I mean school did just start, and I have been trying to get back into the swing of things.I just started at my NEW SCHOOL! Yours truly is now a Towson Tiger and could not be more satisfied! The campus is amazing and the diversity is amazing. Not to mention, the campus is eco-friendly! I love my school dammit! On my first day while I was eating lunch with a friend in the cafeteria, I was looking around the room for familiar faces and looking at the new faces. Looking at the new faces, I noticed a couple having an argument...ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!! Who the fuck does that?! Not me?! Not now! Not never! And plus, I never been too much of the arguing type...I'm too cool and laid back to raise my voice and public and look like a fool! But luckily something positive came out of that argument I witnessed...that couple is my inspiration for this post. Relationships...Relation...Ships...Relation...Ships. Just sounds dumb to me, do not get me wrong I love the idea of people in love and lasting FOREVER (yeah right), but nowadays that's bullshit! Especially when dealing with my generation and our outrageous standards as to what the ideal partner is. My generations idea of the ideal partner is about how good someone is in bed, how much money they have, where they rank in the social circles, how they dress, you know...shit like that. People have lost patience in this quest for the IDEAL PARTNER. People are now jumping into what seems to be good relationships, and then they end up committing the greatest form of betrayal and pain known to the heart. This despicable act ladies and gentlemen is called CHEATING. Personally, I classify cheating along with other disgusting things such as murder, spitting on someone, and republicans. Why do people cheat? Cheaters are just evil fucking people who should be damned to hell. Seriously. Do not give me the whole "they cheated because they got bored and unsatisfied..." or "the person probably forced them to that point." bullshit. NOBODY DESERVES TO BE CHEATED ON! I think that as a human being you should be able to open up your mouth and let somebody know that they are no longer making you happy! The ones that do the cheating have no clue how much damage they are really doing to a person in the long run! It fucks your heart up! As well as your mind! You have never seen or heart fall to pieces or a mind get drove to it's boiling point that severely because of another person. People lose trust in others, people become distant, people learn how to acquire hate in place of happiness, people can even go crazy and type blogs about how fucked up cheating is! What makes cheating even worse is that feeling of denial when you know for certain you are being messed around on, but you keep filling your mind with the fraudulent thoughts of how they aren't cheating. You fool yourself and come out looking like a fool. And when you do find out, what do you do? You want to say "fuck this, I'm done!" But truth be told, most people don't say that until a few minutes, hours, months, YEARS later. The question most people ask when they found out they get cheated on is "Why?". I have been a victim of asking that dumb ass rhetorical question before, I have never felt dumber in my entire life. It's the lack of respect that really did me in though, here you are this beautiful piece of human being walking around with all my trust in your little purse...and in an instant you snap it and become the ugliest being on Earth. This was almost over three years ago though and I'm far from bitter at the person anymore...I'm just being passionate looking back at what happened. I call it my "writing-fuel". But after being in so many potentially good relationships turned to pieces I have concluded that I am done believing in love until someone comes along and changes that entire perspective. I do not need that shit right now, and as I take a look around at these other couples I cannot help but laugh at the idea of them hoping and wishing to last FOREVER, because in a few months they'll be at each others throats with frustration. I even feel this way in regards to my close friends relationships. It's all a joke! I think it's just fashionable for people to be in relationships these days simply because it makes the person look stable. Can you believe that shit?! You need to be attached to someone to APPEAR stable! Or at least that is what I'm getting out of all of this. Fuckers are just wearing people like their a pea coat in the winter time, just to look good. Like I said, I am fucked up in the romance department, but it is only from what I witness and what I have been through...some of it I brought upon myself I guess...but damn. I remember when I was in camp a few years ago and one of the counselors was talking and then said "look to your left, look to your right. You probably won't even be able to tell who the people you just looked at are in the next five years!' Coincidentally, the person on my left was my girlfriend at the time. I don't really know where I'm going with this one to be honest, I'm just venting. It's my ex's bday tomorrow...I want to call her, but I doubt she answers. I'll probably just send her a text and a voicemail, I ain't forgot about the date and all that she still means alot to me. The end of this month has been a little piece of hell actually just because she's been on my mind so much, and flooding my subconscious. Literally flooding every dream of mine. It's sick! But I enjoy sleep just because I know that is the only place I'll see her. I sound like a fucking fool right now, but that's what that romance monster will do to you. Of course I only let a few people know all the details of why I been thinking about her so much. I actually think I'm so confused in this romance thing because I honestly and truly thought she was IT. But it turns out it was nothing more us in the place of my friends who I just ridiculed for being in relationships that will soon end. Until I get myself together and prepared to take another stab at this love thing again I'm working on myself and focusing on what a 20 year old needs to be focusing on.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

It Was Just an Innocent Anniversary.

If I would have know that today was going to be such a huge day in my life I would have definitely packed something a bit more classy than a sandwich bag full of crushed chips, a strawberry jelly sandwich, a few cookies, and a Mountain Dew....oh yea I packed her an Airhead because she liked them. July 2, 2002 was our day! It was our year anniversary. Her name was Alicia and we met at camp. It was so innocent and insane at the same time. An eighth grader in a RELATIONSHIP...but oh well she was gorgeous, played sports, and loved movies. By far the coolest girl I had ever known at the time and she liked me. Excuse me, LOVED me. Sounds really funny saying that at my age now because I am still clueless as to what love is, imagine what I must have felt back then. I do not know exactly what was running through my head while we were together, but all I know is that it always felt right, even if our parents chaperoned our dates...excuse me outing's...because my mom and hers did not believe in 12 and 13 year olds DATING. That morning, I had left the house for camp with my headphones rocking to a mix tape I had made at Gary's house the night before. That motherfucker Gary use to break our necks for making mix tapes on his computer! 12 dollars dude?! What the hell?! I swear he use to charge us per track! But oh well, I can't knock the dudes hustle...he made big money...until everybody else got a computer. I got to camp really early that morning and my lunchbox was extra heavy, because I had made my own damn lunch the night before! I was feeling a bit grown. Oh yea! Big kid mode! Camp that morning was pretty routine, then...she walked in. Looking as amazing as anything else that could ever be kissed by the sun in the Summer. She walked up to me and simply said "hey, you know what today is?" and I was just standing there like, "hell yea! It's OUR day!" So that whole day I made sure I was near her, even if it met sneaking out of my group to go be in hers or near her during arts and crafts. Yeah I know I already made a house out of Popsicle sticks and glue, but for her I'd do it a million times just to sit there and smile. A few of the counselors got on me all the time leaving my group to be near her; I actually recall getting in a bit of trouble for it, so as a punishment I had to go sit against the blue padded walls inside the gym until lunchtime. The cool thing about lunchtime at camp is that you can eat anywhere you want with whoever you want. So during lunch that day, her & I sat with our usual crew and talked our usual shit. Lunch was amazing on today especially for some reason, and she loved her Airhead! After lunch, it was time for that one game I had the best athleticism ball! I was a fuckin' beast at dodge ball! My favorite part of the game was evading the hits...throwing...ehh not so much. Somehow this game however, I was one of the first people to get eliminated. WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW'D THIS HAPPEN?! So I had to take my ass to those blue padded walls...AGAIN! But right after I got eliminated guess who came to those blue padded walls to keep me company? If you guessed Alicia you deserve a Klondike Bar! She came over sat next to me, and the poor girl had a red mark on her face...I guess that was an indicator that she got whopped in the face by a dodge ball...looks like someone forgot the "dodge" principle of the game. We held hands and snuck a kiss while nobody was looking, I could not have been any happier at that moment. All of a sudden, a counselor comes up to me and tells me to step into the lobby, for what? I didn't know. At first, I thought Alicia and I had gotten into trouble again for kissing...which had become quite the norm for us the previous summer. At the camp we were at the previous year, we had got in a shitload of trouble for trying french kissing in a cabin. It was so awkward, all of our friends and other campers were just sitting there watching us kiss and daring us to go longer. So I walk into the lobby, and standing in front of the help desk is my Aunt Linda, my Godfather Kenny, and my little brother Andrew who had tears running all down his face. I was very confused seeing my little brother crying and seeing this odd combination of people standing in front of me on this random Tuesday afternoon. Why the hell were they here? and why was Andrew crying so much? I walked up and asked what was going on, and my godfather muttered something, but the only thing I could make out was "your dad passed." At that moment, I felt my stomach drop and I got really dizzy. I think this is what most people refer to as shock. I got in my godfathers car, and sat next to my brother and tried to get him calm, but I could only imagine what the house was going to be like compared to my little brothers emotions. I get out of the car and look at my house...the vibe that I got looking at the house itself was one that I could never describe. It was as if something was just hanging over our house painting on a shade of depression onto the brand new side-paneling. I walk into the house and there sat my aunt, my grandmother, a few people from the neighborhood, my grandfather, and then I saw my mom. She looked so heart broken. I couldn't even hug her properly...I had never seen my mom so hurt. I asked her what happened, she told me that he had passed out getting out of the shower and died at the hospital from heart failure. My father died at Holy Cross Hospital, the same hospital I was born at. I went upstairs to my room with my mom, and in my room was my great grandma who was closer to my dad than anybody and she was consoling my brother. She sat in that chair rocking back and forth telling me about this dream she had nights before about my dad passing, it was so surreal to hear this coming from her. My grandma let out a cry that will forever stay in my memories, talk about pain...that was agony and frustration wrapped in love. My mom and brother laid on my bottom bunk bed and cried together. All I could do was think of how quickly I could leave that damn house. I had not cried a tear since I got the news a few earlier. I wanted to cry but no tears would come out. I never really knew how to react to death at the moment it is announced. Nioot being able to do this makes me feel almost inhumane. The night before I remember going into my parents room and seeing my dad just lay there looking as if he were hurt, looked like he had a pain in his chest or something. I asked him if he needed anything, but all he did was kept trying to convince me that he was okay, even though I didn't believe him. This day I was going through was all the proof I needed to verify that he was in fact NOT alright the night before. The thing that tripped me out was, that morning I had left to tell my parents good-bye before I left for camp, he looked just fine. I can't help but feel as if it were some kind of precaution I could have taken to have kept him alive. I left my room and went outside by myself to just sit and think. It was almost one hundred degrees outside, but at this point I really didn't care about too much. I sat outside in that heat and just thought, then my Aunt Linda came out back and tried to talk me. I really had not said much of anything after I got the news, almost mute actually. My aunt has always been an excellent mediator, I mean she's been a school counselor and mediator for damn near twenty years so go figure. I told her how numb I felt at the moment and she asked what did I want to do...I told her I simply wanted to leave. I left the house and walked back to camp. That was the longest walk of my life. I began to think about what was the last thing I said to my father before he died? Thank God my last words to him were "I Love you, I'll see you later." I also began to think about how different our household was going to become and what my mom was going to do with the whole situation. I got to camp and the first person I was was Alicia, she immediately knew something was wrong, and that is when I told her what happened. She just hugged me and told me everything was going to be okay...that was very relieving to hear, but very unbelievable at the moment. I proceeded with the rest of my day which was filled with a very eerie thought filled with disbelief that my father was really dead. I felt like I was in a really bad dream, but the reality was...I was nowhere near dreaming. A few of the counselors that knew what happened spoke to me privately and told me that if I every needed to talk or vent that they were available. I really appreciated the love they showed even though I was a bit of a handful at times. My family from Portsmouth, Virginia showed up a few days later and began to plan the funeral. It sucked that it took the death of our dad, their brother, her son, her grandson, their uncle, their cousin, and her husband to get the family together. My cousins being their with us really took my mind off my dad a bit. I love my cousins even if I am the baby of them all. I took em to my hangout spots in Silver Spring and showed them where we played basketball. My homeys were a fantastic support system when my dad passed too. Most of my friends from Good Hope either didn't have their fathers directly in their lives, they passed, or they never knew their fathers. They were probably the best support system because they were not constantly reminding me that he was gone by asking me "are you okay?" They just kept treating me like they had always treated me, like Foster from 1160 with the bush. The funeral was probably the most depressing day of my life. I did not go to the viewing of the body, I do not find that helpful at all in the grieving process. Why would you want your last visual memory of someone to be of them laying in a casket...DEAD? Definitely not how I wanted to remember my father. I showed up to the Church up the street during the ceremony. I walked in while my best friend Mike's mom was singing at the podium. I had no clue she had such an amazing voice, I wish that I could have heard her sing somewhere else besides my dad's funeral though. The funeral brought out the entire neighborhood! Pee Wee the Ice Cream man was even there! God Bless Pee Wee though, the day my dad died he brought our family a whole bunch of stuff off his truck for my brother and sister and myself. I was just in awe at how many people came out to support our family and honor the life of my dad. I was surrounded by love, of course the depression was in the room. I hated churches though, and I hated the fact that I had to sit front row at the funeral. I know my father would have been laughing hard as hell if he would have saw me sitting front row. When the ceremony was over everyone stood in the parking lot and just spoke to each other, even people who did not know each other. Every one had a story about my father. The most amusing story I had heard was from my Uncle Bobby who told me about the time my dad stole the ambulance from the firehouse he was working at and drove it all the way to Portsmouth. I am my father's child because I can definitely see myself doing something that outrageous. When the funeral was over, everyone went home. I was scared for my mom, because after today I knew all the attention she had been getting would soon decrease and she would be left on her own to raise three kids, luckily she had an amazing family to help out when needed. Orelious D. Wright, was an amazing father to me, and taught me more in my twelve short years than I will learn in a lifetime. I also got more ass whippings in twelve years that aided those lessons I learned. He was a great man, and there has not been a day that has gone by where I have not thought of him. I miss and love my father very much, but I know that he is steadily watching over me and protecting me.

Monday, July 19, 2010

I Clearly Asked For...

I consider myself a pretty tolerable guy. I have put up with the God-awful love stories of both High School Musical (all three of them) and the Twilight movies, but I remember the time I finally reached my breaking point, and there was almost no coming back from that bullshit. Like you have had to have been kidding me! Our evening was going just fine before you decided to come over and interrupt my lovely evening with a beautiful young lady with your fucking question of rhetoric. Let me begin my story where it all started at. It was a Saturday night and I smelt better than a wad of money that had just bathed in Old Spice, well I technically did bathe in Red Zone that night, but I digress. I hopped on the Metro to go meet this beautiful young lady that I had not seen in years, so you can only imagine that I was uberly nervous. I like the word uberly, don't judge me dammit! I got to the station, I believe it was Downtown Silver Spring and we planned to go see a movie. Of course, like always, I was EARLY. I have a pet peeve with anyone being late for anything, it really bothers me; if you say you're going to be somewhere at 8:45pm don't show up at 9pm thinking "oh its just a few minutes..." No that's 15 fucking minutes of potentially good conversation we just missed out on! Or maybe we're late for the movie now! And so what if "we just missed the previews!" I love the previews! It's quite sad actually because nowadays the movie previews are better than the actual movie itself. Luckily for me, my date...or whatever you want to call her was on time. I don't really re-call who I was with that night, all I can remember is that she looked average, but when she smiled I got nervous. We hugged, I kissed her on the cheek, and we talked our asses off until we reached the theater. Yes the whole, KISS ON THE CHEEK thing sounds juvenile, but truth be told we were only in 10th grade and I hadn't seen her since 8th that was BIG DEAL to me back then. We go to the movie, which was pretty cool...I've seen so many movies since then I can honestly only remember a handful...a handful actually worth remembering for that matter. So during the movie, she suggested that we go and get something to eat after the movie at some foreign restaurant. Just a side note, when or if you ever have the opportunity to go see my amazing little hometown of Silver Spring, MD, and you are downtown be very cautious about where you decide to eat. There are tons of foreign and exotic food places to eat right off Colesville road, but not all of them are worth a damn thing! We go to this hole-in-the-wall looking fuckery of a restaurant, and being that this was a date and I had some kind of consideration I went into this place with optimism, but even more skepticism. The host was this incredibly fat Asian man who tried talking like Black dude...whatever that is...and the place smelled like fish. They did not specialize in the department of seafood, and even though I don't eat seafood, I was always taught that seafood is NEVER suppose to smell like fish. That goes the same for females. Excuse the crude humor, but it's the truth, nobody wants to go deep sea diving and get seaweed caught in their net. We go sit down and our waiter had the most jangly looking teeth I had ever seen in my life at that point. Braces?! No! this guy needed a fucking fence with a pit bull in the yard to go around his chompers! I almost felt uncomfortable ordering because I knew once he spoke I was going to burst out laughing. As soon as he asked my date for her food, I DIED! I played it off by making it seem like I was laughing at something else or another couple in the restaurant; so I was cool. The waiter looked at me with those LIONSTIGERS&BEARS set of teeth in his mouth and asked what would I like to drink, my response was simply...a ROOT BEER please. Ladies and gentlemen this is where my evening fell apart and I lost a huge piece of my mind. This fucker replied "No, but we have Dr. Pepper instead..." I did NOT ask for fucking Dr. Pepper! There is NOTHING similar bewteen Root beer and Dr. Pepper! If I wanted Dr. Pepper I would have asked for some damn Dr. Pepper! I do think you all understand how much it gets under my skin when somebody offers you something that is NOTHING like the other! That's like saying "No Foster, we don't have a dog, but you can feel free to buy a hamster." Like seriously?! I have nothing personal against Dr. Pepper, it's a great drink if you like soda and 23 unidentifiable flavors, but I was not in my Dr. Pepper drinking mood. I was feeling cool with a pretty girl, and I had just saw a somewhat cool movie. So what better way to end a good date than with a root beer? That's storybook enough for me, it doesn't take too much to make me happy. You should have seen the look on my dates face when I made the face I made when I was violated by this snaggle-tooth bastard who offered me a Goddamn Dr. Pepper in place of the Almighty beverage of a root beer! I looked as if somebody had tried to rape my mind. The waiter felt even worse because he saw the look on my face and he knew he had screwed up. So after a few LONG seconds of stares and tension, I became a big kid and ordered a lemonade instead and looked at my date with a look that said "can you believe this shit?!" It was quite hilarious actually, she kinda chewed me out for a bit about how I was possibly going to snap on our waiter and how she knew I was laughing at his teeth. I asked her how'd she know I was laughing at his teeth, she said because she was laughing on the inside too, but unlike me she had GREAT self control. If that were the case I would like for her explain all of her actions in the movies. The lemonade wasn't half bad by the way. But to this day, if anybody offers me a fuckin Dr. Pepper in place of a root beer I am liable to SNAP! Barq's, A&W, Mugg, or IBC...doesn't matter root beer is always good with me. It's my fucking favorite!