RelationSHIT.

..."I'm coming straight outta Compton! Crazy Motherfucker named FOSTER!" Oops. Sorry, it is #MusicMonday on Twitter and my iPod is in heavy rotation right now, and sometimes I like to infuse my name into my favorite songs every now and then just to be loopy. It feels like I have not posted a blog in the longest fucking time! Well I do have an excuse...I mean school did just start, and I have been trying to get back into the swing of things.I just started at my NEW SCHOOL! Yours truly is now a Towson Tiger and could not be more satisfied! The campus is amazing and the diversity is amazing. Not to mention, the campus is eco-friendly! I love my school dammit! On my first day while I was eating lunch with a friend in the cafeteria, I was looking around the room for familiar faces and looking at the new faces. Looking at the new faces, I noticed a couple having an argument...ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!! Who the fuck does that?! Not me?! Not now! Not never! And plus, I never been too much of the arguing type...I'm too cool and laid back to raise my voice and public and look like a fool! But luckily something positive came out of that argument I witnessed...that couple is my inspiration for this post. Relationships...Relation...Ships...Relation...Ships. Just sounds dumb to me, do not get me wrong I love the idea of people in love and lasting FOREVER (yeah right), but nowadays that's bullshit! Especially when dealing with my generation and our outrageous standards as to what the ideal partner is. My generations idea of the ideal partner is about how good someone is in bed, how much money they have, where they rank in the social circles, how they dress, you know...shit like that. People have lost patience in this quest for the IDEAL PARTNER. People are now jumping into what seems to be good relationships, and then they end up committing the greatest form of betrayal and pain known to the heart. This despicable act ladies and gentlemen is called CHEATING. Personally, I classify cheating along with other disgusting things such as murder, spitting on someone, and republicans. Why do people cheat? Cheaters are just evil fucking people who should be damned to hell. Seriously. Do not give me the whole "they cheated because they got bored and unsatisfied..." or "the person probably forced them to that point." bullshit. NOBODY DESERVES TO BE CHEATED ON! I think that as a human being you should be able to open up your mouth and let somebody know that they are no longer making you happy! The ones that do the cheating have no clue how much damage they are really doing to a person in the long run! It fucks your heart up! As well as your mind! You have never seen or heart fall to pieces or a mind get drove to it's boiling point that severely because of another person. People lose trust in others, people become distant, people learn how to acquire hate in place of happiness, people can even go crazy and type blogs about how fucked up cheating is! What makes cheating even worse is that feeling of denial when you know for certain you are being messed around on, but you keep filling your mind with the fraudulent thoughts of how they aren't cheating. You fool yourself and come out looking like a fool. And when you do find out, what do you do? You want to say "fuck this, I'm done!" But truth be told, most people don't say that until a few minutes, hours, months, YEARS later. The question most people ask when they found out they get cheated on is "Why?". I have been a victim of asking that dumb ass rhetorical question before, I have never felt dumber in my entire life. It's the lack of respect that really did me in though, here you are this beautiful piece of human being walking around with all my trust in your little purse...and in an instant you snap it and become the ugliest being on Earth. This was almost over three years ago though and I'm far from bitter at the person anymore...I'm just being passionate looking back at what happened. I call it my "writing-fuel". But after being in so many potentially good relationships turned to pieces I have concluded that I am done believing in love until someone comes along and changes that entire perspective. I do not need that shit right now, and as I take a look around at these other couples I cannot help but laugh at the idea of them hoping and wishing to last FOREVER, because in a few months they'll be at each others throats with frustration. I even feel this way in regards to my close friends relationships. It's all a joke! I think it's just fashionable for people to be in relationships these days simply because it makes the person look stable. Can you believe that shit?! You need to be attached to someone to APPEAR stable! Or at least that is what I'm getting out of all of this. Fuckers are just wearing people like their a pea coat in the winter time, just to look good. Like I said, I am fucked up in the romance department, but it is only from what I witness and what I have been through...some of it I brought upon myself I guess...but damn. I remember when I was in camp a few years ago and one of the counselors was talking and then said "look to your left, look to your right. You probably won't even be able to tell who the people you just looked at are in the next five years!' Coincidentally, the person on my left was my girlfriend at the time. I don't really know where I'm going with this one to be honest, I'm just venting. It's my ex's bday tomorrow...I want to call her, but I doubt she answers. I'll probably just send her a text and a voicemail, I ain't forgot about the date and all that she still means alot to me. The end of this month has been a little piece of hell actually just because she's been on my mind so much, and flooding my subconscious. Literally flooding every dream of mine. It's sick! But I enjoy sleep just because I know that is the only place I'll see her. I sound like a fucking fool right now, but that's what that romance monster will do to you. Of course I only let a few people know all the details of why I been thinking about her so much. I actually think I'm so confused in this romance thing because I honestly and truly thought she was IT. But it turns out it was nothing more us in the place of my friends who I just ridiculed for being in relationships that will soon end. Until I get myself together and prepared to take another stab at this love thing again I'm working on myself and focusing on what a 20 year old needs to be focusing on.