I Just Want My Music Back...Beotch!

The radio use to be something that I absolutely adored and could NEVER get enough of. I remember in when I was 12 or 13 I would iron my clothes at night and listen to the "Battle of the Beats" on 95.5 Kiss FM. It was a great show...do they still do it? Fuck if I know! I don't know where, I don't know how, I don't know when, and I certainly don't know why the radio has lowered its standards at the same rate music has lowered its standards for good artists. The radio to my ears has become a nuisance, a pest, and even worse...a total letdown. With all do respect to my area "The DMV" Go Go music is totally acceptable to hear, but its the artists that aren't from the area that pollute the airways. All of these pussy-pleading R&B singers, cartoon ass rappers, and annoying hosts are the reason my iPod has become my best friend! I control what the fuck I want to hear! The radio can kiss my ass! Rotation is a joke...I do not want to hear a certain song 12 times in 3 hours...I understand the business I really do...but let's have some variety. Would that hurt? It kills me when I hear people say that there is no REAL music left...I quickly correct them and say...REAL music does not exist ON THE RADIO. You will never hear the real artists that YOU want to hear unless you're totally in love with all that commercial shit! I like my music to be a blessing to my ears and food for my soul...listening to today's radio...well lets just say I'd rather drink a gallon of bleach...if thats possible. Just to clarify its primarily the radio stations that swear they "blaze the hottest hip hop and R&B in the city!" No the fuck you don't...u blaze that bullshit that the industry calls "hot". I must say that other stations with more variety are faaaaar better! There's a radio station that just got the #1 rating in the DMV area..called umm...what is it? Oh yea Hot 99.5!!! Now they know how to please ears, still commercial though, but they play EVERYTHING Rap & Hip Hop, R&B Pop, Rock...you name it they got it! Eventhough I'm very much so STILL against the radio...I still find time to listen to these guys at least once a week whether online or in the car. Not to mention their hosts are pretty cool to listen to and absolutely hilarious given the topic. What happened when listening to the radio was an amazing experience? What happened to turning on the radio and yelling "That's my JAM!"? All I hear now is a bunch of bullshit...mainly old shit as well. I just want good music to return to the radio...I'm not going to name specific artists in this post simply because I want it to be general, but those that understand what I'm talking about will be able to easily think of a few artists that are responsible for poisoning the radio. Let's have that REAL SHIT back on the radio...other cities have amazing radio stations...why not this area?

Fuck Being Stuck...

I know alot of people that swear up and fucking down that they aren't scared of anything...yea right! But I must be a rarity that is not afraid of admitting a fear. My fear is a fear ladies and gentleman is the fear of being stuck. Think about the word stuck, what comes to mind? Nothing good I'm sure. Struggle, tight spaces, breathlessness, entraptment, and worst of all...HELPLESSNESS. I have felt stuck plenty of times in my very short life and I am sure that this feeling will come about again, but luckily there was always someone or something that could help me find my way out of being stuck. I have felt stuck at jobs before...there's an easy solution to that...FUCKING QUIT. I'm a college student and no offense to anybody, but a mediocre minimum-wage job is not what I read books and bust my ass in class for! Yea I said it I am better than average...or at least that's what I've been told. I have been stuck in the cruel world of romance, yea it's cruel dammit...but lovely when the time's right. So to fight the feeling of being stuck awake all night lonely, I resorted to a little pill called ambien; its comes in blue, purple, white and baige given your doctor. Ambien is probably one of those things that I should have never gotten hooked to while being in a very mind challenging relationship...it took me way out of my element when dealing with certain issues. I became a wreck, a pill taking wreck. But hey...at least I slept good? Shit I've been stuck with the fear that I will never make it out of this shitty state, this shitty house, or even leave my shitty school. But thanks to that damn Mouse in Florida I broke out of this hell-hole and made friends world-wid. Yea international out here! It's pretty cool to know that I can take trips to Paris, Australia, Colombia, Brazil, and London (Lets not forget all over the United States) and know that I won't even have to worry about paying for a hotel room because I'll have a place to stay. I know alot of people that are stuck, not because stuck happened to them, but because they chose to get stuck. Or they are just really comfortable with not having peace of mind. Not me! I have to get out and venture and grasp life by whatever it is that you can grasp life with. As I have said in a previous post, I have returned home from Orlando a few weeks ago. At times I do relapse to that feeling of stuck, but its only temporary. Thank God for that. If this was a few years ago I would be smoking my weed with someone in the day and taking my pills at night to ease my mind. I remember my auntie told me "boredom is a state of mind" I use to look at her like as if she were a nut when she use to say that. But years later, I totally understand all that wise hoopla she was jiving about all those years. When I'm bored my mind wonders into many places (thanks to my looney meds) and I all of a sudden get really happy or really scared and lost, that's when the stuck feeling sets in. When I have free time on my hands I make damn sure that I AM DOING SOMETHING! Being stuck is very much still a fear of mine that will probably forever remain within, but luckily I have many remedies to cure that bullshit, many POSITIVE remedies might I add. So to Mr. Stuck...FUCK OFF & FUCK YOU...have a nice day, because I know I will.

Let's All Get Stupid?

Over the years I have noticed that all my hardwork in school and good grades HASN'T MET SHIT! I mean Jesus Christ! What do I need to do to be accepted in this fucked up society of ours. It seems that ever since high school...no excuse me MIDDLE SCHOOL...people have grown to appreciate this culture of failure. Example: in the 8th grade we had this super tough teacher named Ms. Rothera...and I mean this lady was the definition of tough...she even looked like that lady you didn't want to fuck around with or your grade would look as bad as she did. She had the face of a toad and the frame of Jabba the Hut from Star Wars. However, this woman was considerate at the end of the day. She did after all, let us know about tests about two weeks in advance. Her tests were about 60 questions long and lets just say most of the smarter people in the class always always always passed! One day I actually studied really hard and got an A finally after about 3 tests prior that all ended in failure. I could literally hear a choir behind me singing the sweet song from AC/DC "You Shook Me All Night Long". I got up and did my happy dance (which has never been accompanied by rhythm) and pumped my fist as it were super cheap gas. As I was doing my dance, I take a glance over my shoulder and notice that some of my so-called "friends" all looked at me as if I were a fool... Then one of them asks me "how does it feel to be a nerd?" You know the saying "it's not what you said, it's how you said it?" That cliche load of shit had never been more relevant to me than at this time. The way it was said was as if I was a criminal for finally working hard and improving myself let alone my grade. I took a more broad look around the room at the kids who were "cool" and noticed that all of them felt pretty content with themselves for recieving high D's and F's...I was the blacksheep of the cool. In high school it only got worse. Kids got dumber and the groups of dummy's got larger. The tough teachers were still tough and the only difference was that I knew the work I did in high school would only have an IMPACT on MY FUTURE! The good thing about it being in a highly populated area of dumbasses walking around with their super new shoes and clothes and bad grammar, is that there was an incredible amount of smarties trotting around with their new notebooks, covered books, and outstanding vocabulary. I was proud to be able to walk on both sides minus being a dummy! I could still socialize with the cool kids and work like a smartie, I do like using my brain after all. (no pun intended) Eventhough I was still ridiculed at times for getting good grades and speaking properly (not "talking good" dumbasses!) I learned not to care about the shit they spoke, and just accept the fact that some people are bred to be stupid...or are they just scared to be smart? I think that knowledge of self is that one piece of advice that some people learn to accept and apply to themselves and others disregard it and leave it on the curb...that's just a little bit of my theory...which to some or most won't mean much of anything. The culture of people's stupidity and ignorance is one I wish they will keep to themselves and not ruin for people who actaully enjoy that thing in their heads...their BRAIN!

Inside the Box? Nahh

I think that one of the most dumb and undefined words in the world's vocabulary is "NORMAL". I have heard people tell me that what I listen to isn't NORMAL or that what I talk about isn't NORMAL. Oh yea for those people who all of a sudden are able to determine what is and isn't normal let me ask you this...are you normal? Which brings me to the conclusion...that if these people who are able to question my state in the world of normality "If you're normal, then Thank God I'm not". There is nothing more fulfilling than being called weird or eccentric. That's just people's way of calling me "ORIGINAL". Who doesn't like originality? It's what makes the world go 'round. It's in the same class as love and money...go figure. Look what being weird has gotten some icons in pop-culture: Britney Spears shaved her damn head bald, that was weird and she still went platinum and remained a household name. Amy Winehouse is pencil-thin but can blow as if she's Aretha Franklin's size, rocks the hairstyle known as the "beehive", and oh yea she likes her weed, that was weird; but that didn't stop her from becoming a Grammy winning artist did it? Last but not least my all time favorite musician Bob Marley, who spoke of peace and unity through music in times of war and hardship. Bob Marley performed a day after he had been shot in the leg, and fornicated with many women, and oh yea he too, like Amy liked his WEED, which people at the time also found WEIRD. Normality to me is what I call playing it safe and being society's HOEBAG. Playing it safe can help attain an average level of success, but doing something weird and original or insane maybe (Mad scientist voice) would probably give your more of an edge which I don't aid you in landing into something GREAT! I like...excuse me I LOVE being "weird". I love my weird music, writing weird lyrics, my weird graphic Tee's from HotTopic, my weird ringtones on my blackberry! WEIRD rocks! And maybe just maybe, I don't know why...but you should try it too, you just might like it.

Slow Down in the Fast Lane

I have been in relationships...who hasn't? We all have. Whether it be a relationship with family, friends, or that very cute girl from summer camp. Ooooo there we go! That's the stuff I'm talking about that relationship with the cute girl...better yet known as our first encounter with the intimate and passionate relationship...or better known to parents as "Puppy Love". The only problem with my previous affairs is that I always felt that there were two speed demons driving down the autobahn speedway headed to disaster, heartbreak, confusion, and hate even. Nobody likes to take it slow; everybody loves to move fast. At fast-food places...well that's not fair because they have to go fast, but at work they want you to work faster. On vacation we hurry to the gates to a ride we'll wait 3 hours for but only enjoy for a few seconds...minutes if we're lucky. My previous relationships were far too fast paced for a guy with an inhaler in his pocket as if it were spare change. I loved the fast-lane, the PDA, the grabbing, touching, and all of the other inappropriate nonsense that porn magazines crave, and after a few weeks...months if were lucky....it's over. No wonder what happened or who did what wrong...JUST OVER. The feeling is unbearable...so unbearable that therapy was needed, so was alcohol, and on occasion weed smoking sessions that were aided by only the finest "stoner jams". Now my dumbass should have stayed with therapy because I forgot that weed and alcohol are stimulants in the spur of the moment, but the next day...ur depressed! I wrote some of the most depressing songs and could easily ruin a friends evening by picking up the phone and telling them my troubles with how much I hated love. For about two years, LOVE SUCKED and was very absent. Being a halfway decent human being I didn't engage in random sex with random girls or even girls I had known...I would have just felt cheap and even more worthless. So after a few doomed relationships and failed flings, I have decided to take things slow (John Legend voice) There is nothing wrong with going slow when doing anything...after all nobody wants a fast fucker right? Fast is efficient but slow is cool too. I wouldn't trust anyone who built a brickhouse in a day...that means that once again I would have invested in something that would come crashing down on my imagination-filled skull. That would not have felt good ONE BIT, I'm not into that pain for love shit...I'll leave that for the dominatrix loving people. I'm in a relationship now where things are moving at an incredibly steady pace. I guess this is what those corny old TV show guys meant when they would ask the girl they were talking to "I was wondering if you wanted to go you know...steady?" and hell yea steady rocks (and the No Doubt song comes to mind). And of course its not like your grand parents pace of steady...its the kind of steady where you can be yourself and absolutely appreciate actually getting to know the person before all of that crazy talk of futures and stuff come into play. I'm not bitter at all toward the previous people, I'm more than anything...humored by what was. Thanks to all of them I can SMILE like a five year old on Christmas because of the situation I am in now. Slow and steady won that fat ass turtle or tortoise a race...and I think it's got its advantages in the romance department too.

So...the name is Foster

My name came from a weird little idea that my Dad had back when he was in the Army...for some odd reason he felt that his first-born should be named Foster. He and his girlfriend at the time thought that me being named Foster would have been soo amazing...LUCKILY they didn't last and my Mom picked up where my Dad's ex left off. She too for some ODD reason fell in love with the idea of a child named Foster as well. I find it so funny that my mom had no clue that my Dad had this insane plan to name his first born Foster. Few years after I was born, Mom found the love letters containing my Dad's lifelong plans with his "then" girlfriend! Mom blew up at Dad but loved him all the same! To put it in a nutshell
Fast-fowarding almost 20 years later, and I now have a beef with my name. I have been getting the dumbest questions and comments as to why the hell my parents decided to name me Foster. What pisses me off more is when I have to verbally speak my name to a person who does not know me or hear that well. When I introduce myself to people there's always that one jackass that asks...Boston? Oscar? Forrest? Where and the fuck did you get Boston and Oscar from?! I give Forrest a pass simply because it is my favorite movie OF ALL TIME! (Forrest Gump) but seriously I know...or at least hope that people are not that damn retarted! Oh yea which brings me to my next point, the last name gig! My first name is Foster! Not the last! Damn customer service hotline people make me sick! "And what is your first name sir?" I just told you jackass...isn't or shouldn't my name be in your computer server thingy? But I HAVE learned to deal with this unfortunate rise of stupidity and ignorance, after all my name is pretty decent after hearing some of this other name fuckery over the past couple years. I mean seriously the parents of my generation have lost their fucking minds! Names after medicine, cars, superficial places spelled backwards, or some guy they heard the name of in a movie! At least I can feel a bit comfortable knowing that my name is a famous dessert, brand of sunglasses, and my all-time favorite BEER! So the next time somebody asks me "is your name really Foster?" I will simply reply..."yes, and what is your boring name?"

Just Warming Up...

Well umm considering that I never took a creative writing class this should be pretty fun. I mean blogging is creative writing right? I can say almost whatever I want and the only grade I would have to worry about is the one that I recieve from the people who read it? It really doesn't matter...I have a bunch of friends who find it absolutely amazing how cool and collective I can be under certain circumstances. I guess that's one of my good traits. (Damn its cold as hell in herre!) But I digress. These past two years have been an absolute ROLLERCOASTER ride for me. Mainly emotional...uggh but I think I finally have enough mental strength to get up and do what I do best...whatever that is. I just recently returned home from a college program that shall go nameless. If you're not a total dumbass you would understand what I mean when I say that I use to "work for the Mouse". The experience will totally be spoken about in another post (I promise). But I'm back home to where my family is full of characters, my neighborhood is full of nobody's, and my room is full of Bob Marley posters, rhymebooks, and electronics. I have an amazing girlfriend which is just...well...AMAZING...and I honestly couldn't be happier with how things are going with us. She kinda gave me a little bit of a boost to actually go out and create a blog site...or blog thing...or whatever the proper name of it is. But anyways, I think that this blogging thing should be agood way to vent since everything that comes out of my mouth could potentially freak out everyone that I speak to on a regular basis. Being that this is just a warm-up I won't vent too much. I'll try my best to entertain with the stuff that is stored in my brain. ENJOY!!!