Monday, February 8, 2010

Slow Down in the Fast Lane

I have been in relationships...who hasn't? We all have. Whether it be a relationship with family, friends, or that very cute girl from summer camp. Ooooo there we go! That's the stuff I'm talking about that relationship with the cute girl...better yet known as our first encounter with the intimate and passionate relationship...or better known to parents as "Puppy Love". The only problem with my previous affairs is that I always felt that there were two speed demons driving down the autobahn speedway headed to disaster, heartbreak, confusion, and hate even. Nobody likes to take it slow; everybody loves to move fast. At fast-food places...well that's not fair because they have to go fast, but at work they want you to work faster. On vacation we hurry to the gates to a ride we'll wait 3 hours for but only enjoy for a few seconds...minutes if we're lucky. My previous relationships were far too fast paced for a guy with an inhaler in his pocket as if it were spare change. I loved the fast-lane, the PDA, the grabbing, touching, and all of the other inappropriate nonsense that porn magazines crave, and after a few weeks...months if were lucky....it's over. No wonder what happened or who did what wrong...JUST OVER. The feeling is unbearable...so unbearable that therapy was needed, so was alcohol, and on occasion weed smoking sessions that were aided by only the finest "stoner jams". Now my dumbass should have stayed with therapy because I forgot that weed and alcohol are stimulants in the spur of the moment, but the next day...ur depressed! I wrote some of the most depressing songs and could easily ruin a friends evening by picking up the phone and telling them my troubles with how much I hated love. For about two years, LOVE SUCKED and was very absent. Being a halfway decent human being I didn't engage in random sex with random girls or even girls I had known...I would have just felt cheap and even more worthless. So after a few doomed relationships and failed flings, I have decided to take things slow (John Legend voice) There is nothing wrong with going slow when doing anything...after all nobody wants a fast fucker right? Fast is efficient but slow is cool too. I wouldn't trust anyone who built a brickhouse in a day...that means that once again I would have invested in something that would come crashing down on my imagination-filled skull. That would not have felt good ONE BIT, I'm not into that pain for love shit...I'll leave that for the dominatrix loving people. I'm in a relationship now where things are moving at an incredibly steady pace. I guess this is what those corny old TV show guys meant when they would ask the girl they were talking to "I was wondering if you wanted to go you know...steady?" and hell yea steady rocks (and the No Doubt song comes to mind). And of course its not like your grand parents pace of steady...its the kind of steady where you can be yourself and absolutely appreciate actually getting to know the person before all of that crazy talk of futures and stuff come into play. I'm not bitter at all toward the previous people, I'm more than anything...humored by what was. Thanks to all of them I can SMILE like a five year old on Christmas because of the situation I am in now. Slow and steady won that fat ass turtle or tortoise a race...and I think it's got its advantages in the romance department too.

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