Fuck Being Stuck...

I know alot of people that swear up and fucking down that they aren't scared of anything...yea right! But I must be a rarity that is not afraid of admitting a fear. My fear is a fear ladies and gentleman is the fear of being stuck. Think about the word stuck, what comes to mind? Nothing good I'm sure. Struggle, tight spaces, breathlessness, entraptment, and worst of all...HELPLESSNESS. I have felt stuck plenty of times in my very short life and I am sure that this feeling will come about again, but luckily there was always someone or something that could help me find my way out of being stuck. I have felt stuck at jobs before...there's an easy solution to that...FUCKING QUIT. I'm a college student and no offense to anybody, but a mediocre minimum-wage job is not what I read books and bust my ass in class for! Yea I said it I am better than average...or at least that's what I've been told. I have been stuck in the cruel world of romance, yea it's cruel dammit...but lovely when the time's right. So to fight the feeling of being stuck awake all night lonely, I resorted to a little pill called ambien; its comes in blue, purple, white and baige given your doctor. Ambien is probably one of those things that I should have never gotten hooked to while being in a very mind challenging relationship...it took me way out of my element when dealing with certain issues. I became a wreck, a pill taking wreck. But hey...at least I slept good? Shit I've been stuck with the fear that I will never make it out of this shitty state, this shitty house, or even leave my shitty school. But thanks to that damn Mouse in Florida I broke out of this hell-hole and made friends world-wid. Yea international out here! It's pretty cool to know that I can take trips to Paris, Australia, Colombia, Brazil, and London (Lets not forget all over the United States) and know that I won't even have to worry about paying for a hotel room because I'll have a place to stay. I know alot of people that are stuck, not because stuck happened to them, but because they chose to get stuck. Or they are just really comfortable with not having peace of mind. Not me! I have to get out and venture and grasp life by whatever it is that you can grasp life with. As I have said in a previous post, I have returned home from Orlando a few weeks ago. At times I do relapse to that feeling of stuck, but its only temporary. Thank God for that. If this was a few years ago I would be smoking my weed with someone in the day and taking my pills at night to ease my mind. I remember my auntie told me "boredom is a state of mind" I use to look at her like as if she were a nut when she use to say that. But years later, I totally understand all that wise hoopla she was jiving about all those years. When I'm bored my mind wonders into many places (thanks to my looney meds) and I all of a sudden get really happy or really scared and lost, that's when the stuck feeling sets in. When I have free time on my hands I make damn sure that I AM DOING SOMETHING! Being stuck is very much still a fear of mine that will probably forever remain within, but luckily I have many remedies to cure that bullshit, many POSITIVE remedies might I add. So to Mr. Stuck...FUCK OFF & FUCK YOU...have a nice day, because I know I will.