The Homey.

It was 3 o'clock in the morning, you were riding around forever looking for a quick and cheap fix, all of your other "friends" weren't up to give you what you needed at the moment, even though they were all in the vicinity of where you were driving...they flaked. One of your friends actually just got off the clock at about 2am, but what kind of friend clocks off from the "friendship" shift? Then you are riding a little further down the street and there you see them, your homey, glistening, shining, bright and tall waiting for you to pull up into their warmth and tell them exactly what you want and how much of it you want. You may even tell this friend how you have been driving around for hours looking for someone like them to satisfy your late night craving. They ask you what you want and you begin by saying "let me get uhhh....number six no cheese, with a Hi-C...LARGE with two apple pies." Yes yes, ladies and gentlemen McDonald's is America's homey! Whenever you were hungry, on a road trip, and you just fucked up by passing the Waffle House...who was there at 3am in the morning with hundreds of locations on the way to your destination? It sure wasn't Burger King, Checkers, or that whore Wendy...it was your homey since you were able to say "I want a Happy Meal!" That's right!...Your dear good friend Mickey D! Who gives you what you need for the low low? Not Ruby Tuesdays or TGI Friday's...nope! Your homey Mickey D! Everybody hates em but you will sit there and defend your homey even though you know damn well they ARE NO GOOD for you...we all have that friend. McDonald's is probably part of the reason this country hasn't sunk into a DEPRESSION, cmon now...how can a country go into a depression when they have a meal that makes them happy?...it's called a fucking Happy Meal! When gas prices were going up and you were being evicted because THE RENT WAS TOO DAMN HIGH! who was across the street from your pile of shit on the curb waiting to fill you up with a goodness called joy?...not the Repo man! But...McDonald's was! People always say how fake the homey is, how bad they are, what they are made of and how they are going to kill you in the long run...they have yet to let me down and you either! I blame the parents for letting The Homey take place of a proper diet and exercise, who lets their child hang around their friends all day every day and substitute a quick meal (which should be consumed occasionally) instead of a home cooked nutritious meal? People are so quick to point their fingers at friends as enemies before they address the enemy that lies within which is their ignorance and negligence. No fast food joint ever hurt anyone...it was the infatuation with fast food, the lack of self-control, and the inability to simply say "I don't need that, I have food at home". McDonald's never killed anybody...they did it to themselves.