Missing.

I don't know what has me in this mood I have been in the past couple of days. Everything that could be going the way I wanted them to go is going perfectly, but still that isn't filling some void. I feel as if I have everything I could possibly need and kinda want at this moment right now, but something is missing. I guess I am missing romance or something along those lines. I'm so sick of seeing other people happy in their little zones with someone they appear to actually care about. I sit back and act like love at this age is silly, but honestly it is one of the few things to be happy about when you're young. Everybody wants a taste of young love I suppose, the shitty thing about losing it is trying to find something to replace it. My romance has come in the form of dark writing, becoming introverted, drinking, taking pills, and smoking just to put myself in a place where no one can hurt or reach me even if they need me the most. My best friend just came out and told me she hates who I become because of what's happened to me recently, as much as I honor and care about her opinion I really could care less about the last few judgments. I feel that opinions are nothing more than understated judgments actually. Of course people are going to offer their opinion to tell you what they like or didn't like about something that you have recently done. Fuck em. The more and more I look around campus I start to feel like coming here was a mistake and that I am a misfit...hell maybe school just isn't my thing...I been in college too long and still feel like I'm not going to finish, so on most days I'm like fuck school, only reason I go is to make my family proud, I'm pretty sure that I could find some way outside of school to become what I want to be once I get the fuck out of here. I'm just venting, I'm not gonna promote anyone to read this blog because I really don't feel like getting responses back about what I should do to make myself happy or try and fill that void, half of em are probably just going to talk out of their ass anyway and give some bullshit ass response.