Lockers and A Loser.

We all have those days that we will never forget. You may, as you grow older, forget some of the small details like: what you wore, where you sat, or what you ate that day, but you never forget what made that day known as THAT DAY. In my short life I have had many days that are unforgettable, both good and bad. That's life. But I will never forget my day of middle school. I went to school in Montgomery County till high school and the way they do it there is that you go to middle school after the fifth grade, not the sixth. I remember being in the fifth grade at an assembly where they had teachers from all the middle schools in the area come in and speak to our class about our decision as to which middle school we would choose, and then SHE came in. This beautiful specimen of a woman, long hair, smooth brown skin, and the most bomb legs ever! She was coincidentally, Ms. Wright (ain't that some shit?!)the 6th grade English teacher of Francis Scott Key Middle School. Traditionally, all the kids from my elementary school would choose "Key" to be their middle school after fifth grade even though it was the furthest one away from our elementary school, and the furthest one away from my neighborhood, but no school was TOO FAR when you had that good old cheese bus transportation to get you back and forth to school. I chose Key, and this is where the story begins...oh yea that fine piece of woman Ms. Wright also became my first period English teacher after all. I could not have been more proud to have chosen Key Middle as my middle school to attend; all the homeys from around the way (who I looked up to) had graduated from Key or were still there, one of my homeys actually got held back by HIS OWN DAMN PARENTS! Who in the merciful fuck holds their kid back from graduating into high school from middle school after they have legitimately passed all of their classes?! I guess some parents are socially dumb and ignorant in regards to their kids future these days huh? The first day of middle school was probably one of the most fearful, exciting, and embarrassing days of my young life. Walking to the bus stop, I was so nervous; shaking all over and I think I even had a cold sweat (I had and still have have terrible anxiety issues). I got down to the bus stop and I see all of my friends from elementary school and instantly I felt a great comfortable feeling come over me, I was also a bit fucking annoyed because I swore that it was people there that swore up and down all summer that they were going to Key's rival middle school...Banneker (aka Bammaker as we called it.)I also saw my friends who where in the 7th and 8th grade there too and they had so much fun scaring the shit out of me before the bus even pulled up talking about how the 8th graders love kicking the living shit out of the 6th graders asses and stuff em into lockers and trashcans and jump em and stuff like that. It took every fiber in my body for me not to run back home like a little bitch and beg my parents to home school me, but in the instance of these crazy thoughts running through my mind the bus decided to pull up. This big yellow concoction pulls up and the doors open and I see the bus driver, and luckily it is my friends from the neighborhood's mom...Ms. Debbie, and if it was anything I knew about Ms. Debbie is that Ms. Debbie ain't take NO SHIT at all! She knew all of our mama's and where we lived, so we could fuck around on her job if we wanted and it was guaranteed that it would be some sort of hell to pay sooner or later or in that very moment. I had the utmost respect for Ms. Debbie simply because she possessed the power that made the toughest of tough kids on the bus look like wimps simply by getting on that microphone, calling their name and telling them to move to the front of the bus. It was brilliant! So humiliating and humbling at the same time! Getting on the bus was a nitemare in it's own; so many faces, so many empty seats, but so many rules as to where you sat! Being that I was new and I knew that the bus was filled primarily with eighth graders, I sat my little sixth grade ass down in the very front of the bus! Eye to eye with the windshield wipers and everything! Ms. Debbie had the radio rocking with the Donnie Simpson Show and Nelly's Country Grammar came on and the whole bus sang it like it was "The Wheels on the Bus" or something. The bus ride wasn't too long, but it seemed like forever when you're going to a building that you have never been to (I skipped orientation because I was too afraid to walk through the doors even with my Mom, Dad, and Auntie by my side. I just wasn't ready). But today I had nobody with me to walk through those doors with, not even my own friends after we got through those doors because once we got through those doors it was onto homeroom and none of my friends had the last names that began with S-W...so I was fucked! We pull up to the school and I immediately take notice of how much bigger the kids are...I also tried to looking for familiar faces, but there were simply too many people to pick out certain faces in the crowd...I did however spot my girlfriend at the time which was a relief.(I'll talk about her later). I got off the bus and there was no turning back...and based on where I chose to sit, I was the first person off the bus. I walked where everyone else was walking and ended up in the cafeteria and they were lining up EVERYBODY by last name and by grade and of course I was amazed by all of the new and beautiful faces of the girls who were crammed in there. I got in line and moved along to homeroom,and I forget who my homeroom teacher was but I was so nervous as she took role (I do remember it was a she). I think that my voice cracked as I said "here!" when my name was called and everyone in the classroom laughed at me, great first impression huh? I got my schedule and they released us to go to first period. I'm not gonna sit up here and talk about the details of each period up to lunch...so I'll just skip to lunch which was the part of middle school that excited me the most! To hell with dressing up my binder with hot women in bathing suits and my favorite artists! To hell with trying to make my locker look like a piece of home with a touch of cool! And to hell with being able to pick my classes!...I was thrilled about the food! ...and seeing my girlfriend for lunch too! Little background on her...she was this short red haired white girl with glasses who liked every single dude in our fifth grade class and one day landed on me...and I decided to make her my girlfriend, why? I have the slightest clue! It somehow lasted through the summer and BOOM! here there we were. I got my stuffed potato, pepperoni pizza, Gatorade, and zebra cake and sat with her and her friends. As soon as I sat down I felt a weird kinda awkward tension that was so prevalent and strong at the table. My girlfriend wouldn't look directly in my eyes, and her friends were kinda looking at her as if they were waiting for her to tell me something, then one of em finally opened up and said "...Foster, Jess has something to tell you...tell him Jess...might as well get it over with..." The next thing I know is that she opened up her little mouth and said "I think we should break up..." What the merciful fuck?! This is the first day of school in middle school and you're deciding to break up with me?! You heartless little cunt! I had never been more crushed and embarrassed in my life. She just had to do it in front of all of her friends though? Really?! I had never been dumped before...I mean I was only 10 at the time and I didn't know how to take it so I broke down and cried like a little bitch in the cafeteria in front of everybody! I got up and took myself on over to the table with my friends (who I thought could be somewhat comforting) and told them what happened and one of em just burst out in laughter and said "damn nigga! you got dumped by a white girl on the first day of school?! Damn must suck to be you!" Some friends huh? I didn't eat the rest of my lunch that I had highly anticipated the whole day. The rest of the day was pretty treacherous, I had all of my worst classes (math, science, and home ec.) and I was picked on a bit for having a bush and wearing gel in my hair...and my clothes weren't really up to par with everyone else's. I'm not aloud to like flannel shirts and cargo pants? It was a pretty shitty day. As much I was looking forward to a new beginning at a new school, I would have never anticipated this, but hey, that's life. I didn't set my expectations too high, but they sure came crashing down as if they had fallen from the sky, which was a harsh reality to face. But it surely can't rain forever. Sixth grade year was quite a roller coaster. I ended up failing 6 out of 7 courses on quarter because at one point I just didn't care about anything because my confidence was crushed daily and I almost failed gym for not changing because I was shy about changing my clothes in front of people. It took me three months to learn how to open my locker. I had countless run-ins with Ms. Debbie on the bus for not taking any shit when it came to MY seat. I'm going to digress for a bit, but what the hell did Dr. King and Rosa Parks fight for if all my generation does when we get on the bus is go straight to the back of the bus? I guess it must have been so that we can sit wherever we would like on any form of public transit. Umm...what else happened? Oh yea I was turned down by like every girl I tried to go out with that year too. If there was anything positive that did happen that school year is that I learned how to "freak dance" with girls as they grinded on my still-goin-through-puberty wiener. As bad the first day and the rest of the year was accompanied by many ass-whoopin's at home for bad grades, I bounced back so diligently the next year and I have been on a roll ever since! One day cannot ruin it all, ever!

So Just Forget Carmen San Diego Huh?

Even we knew what Carmen San Diego looked like even though we never quite figured out WHERE THE HELL SHE WAS EXACTLY!!! But riddle me this, what in the living hell does a weapon of mass destruction look like?! Somebody, anybody please tell me what they look like?! Apparently our country has been on this wild goose chase for a few long years trying to find and secure these WMD's just so they do not get used on us but so we can use them on other countries? I remember in the seventh grade learning about America bombing Hiroshima, Japan with the first ever nuclear bomb created by Albert Einstein in World War II, and in my opinion that was the the first form of a weapon of mass destruction. Back then, military weapons were huge and obvious, but that was in the late 40's and fifties, and you know how with our technology these days things are just as powerful in a smaller and more compact space. The sad thing is that I came up with this theory when I was high celebrating the death of Osama Bin laden (sue me.) But cmon now! You cannot honestly sit there and tell me that you believe these technologically advanced and highly intelligent countries have missiles the size if Shaq buried underneath some secret chamber underground set to aim and strike American soil if we dare slip up (many countries blatantly have missiles aimed at us as it is)...I just refuse to believe this. I believe that because technology is so advanced terrorists probably have weapons the size of teardrops capable enough to take out entire cities or small states even. With that said, I am sure that nuclear missiles are out there still, they just aren't as hard to find as our media is making them seem (but they always try and sweep things under the rug these days when it comes to things that are threatening to civilization.) There are however, weapons of mass destruction that exist in our OWN damn country as well that are not even recognized by the naked eye of the public. For starters, you have these damn gas prices that are slowly killing everyone piece by piece at the pump. Then there are reality television shows that are killing off everyone's concept of "cool" and brain cells in general. Then last but not least, you have these half-assed parents who are now starting at the age of fifteen who want to bring kids into the world and not have a single thing planned in regards to raising them or establishing some sort of foundation for them to raise their kids upon. While they are sending thousands upon thousands of troops overseas to fix issues in other countries, we don't look twice at the issues that are constantly and consistently piling up in our own country. It is all sad, we know what solution we are after but fail to open our minds up as to how to find it or even consider that what we are looking for may not always be in the form that we envisioned. The sad thing is that terrorists or scientists or whoever is creating these weapons of mass destruction are probably (hypothetically) neatly and quietly storing their little concoctions in the back of their fridges right next to their milk and cheese while they watch American soldiers terrorize their neighborhoods through their windows with a smirk on their face because they know that what they have will not be found anytime soon.

Now Before You Get All in a Frenzy...

Last night I definitely decided to stay off of blogs to avoid two things:

1. Laughing my ass off
2. Shaking my head at ignorant posts about Osama Bin Lade

But last night on Twitter I got a good dose as to what my peers are feeling about the situation and how they interpret what is likely to happen next.

First thing I am gonna say is that THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT 2012 BULLSHIT! Get over it people! Osama Bin Laden's death may launch an attack or a whole new series of war, but I highly doubt that the Taliban is going to look on the calendar and actually Nuke us on whatever day the Mayans took a break from continuing on the calendar. Second thing, Osama's death has nothing to do with the general beliefs of people of the Islamic faith, please stop with all the ignorance surrounding Islam and the Muslims that are faithful to the religion. Regardless of how the media portrays Muslims or how your own ignorance interprets what Muslims believe in, please know that their religion is solely based on PEACE.

I am quite happy that Osama Bin Laden is no longer a worry of our country or anyone else's in the world, but let us not forget that this man did not operate by himself, he had a wide range of followers willing to die for whatever cause he would arrange. Our new worry should be on how to find and stop them from inflicting more terror and pain around the world. It was not ignorant for anybody to go out last night and celebrate that mans death, Personally, Osama Bin Laden was NOT a man. He killed using others, he ran, and he hid. That is not the description of the man, it is the description of a coward who rightfully deserved to die. I had a few friends who were disgusted at the whole idea of people celebrating a man's death does not mean that they are better or worse than anybody who indeed celebrated. To be honest, I think that most people only used that "that's wrong" logic for brownie points. He is dead, he is gone, let us move on.

The death of Bin Laden certainly did not lower our sky high gas prices, find a cure for HIV/AIDS, feed the hungry, stabilize the economy, or bring our troops back home which are all issues that our country must continue to focus on. Sure one day of celebrating and showing for your patriotic love for America is great and all, but it damn sure did not fix one of those problems today, now did it? Osama being gone is just one tasked marked off on this country's very long and insanely organized agenda. We should take that same patriotism we displayed and make it everlasting to help out our country on a daily basis and help improve our own being instead of waiting on our tardy, unreliable, and non-responsive government.

Let Osama Bin Laden's death be a wake up call to not only American's, but the world as well that we really need to wake up and get our priorities straight before we get one small victory, get comfortable, and decide to get lazy and end right back where we first started.

Fahrenheit Foolery & Fuckery

Oh Spring is here! Spring is here! Spring is here! I'm not talking about that damn day that is marked on the calendar in March that says "Spring begins today" when it was fucking thirty degrees below Jesus outside, but the actual feeling that comes along with the season that defines what Spring really is. The weather, the change of the wardrobes, the greenery making its return to the atmosphere...that is the Spring that I am talking about! I left out the temperature however (I know I said weather, but that isn't necessarily the same thing), I just love the temperature! Great Springtime temperature brings many great things...actually that is the reason for the season once we are all done with the damn rain from April that is suppose to bring May flowers that I could most definitely do without because I am allergic! The temperature brings a lack of clothes, lack of care, but sadly it also forces people to lack in their thought process and make them total assholes and idiots. I will never fully be able to comprehend why when the good weather rolls around, the fools of the earth transpire and the crime rate skyrockets! It is like these people plant their ignorance, stupidity, and foolishness underground in the early parts of Fall and once the warm weather comes back around their same old dumb ass ways of thinking sprout from the ground and find a way right back into their minds. Just last week, I was on Twitter and everyone and their mother was talking about going to the zoo or the word "zoo" was fused into each one of their tweets, I looked a little closer and dug a little deeper only to discover that everyone was tweeting about the zoo because there had been a stabbing from some idiotic group of teens at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. Are we fucking serious?! The National Zoo is FREE people! FREE! But then again that just goes to prove my theory about how people do not know how to act around anything that is FREE! For the past couple springs and summers the DMV (DC, Maryland, and Virginia) area has been one of the worst places to be as far as crime is concerned. Apparently, we just LOVE tearing shit up, killing each other, and ruining fun for tourists who slightly inflate our areas income as a way to enjoy the awesome weather that our area is blessed with from time to time. Stabbing at the zoo, it sounds like a joke but it is a very sad topic to discuss given their were probably plenty of people there who were looking to have a great time on a Monday afternoon. The animals were probably more than confused as to who should have really been locked up and put in a cage as people were forced to evacuate the zoo and pretty much stampeded trough the zoo to an exit knocking over concession stands and even strollers with children in them. What probably shocked me most is how some of the witnesses and patrons at the zoo acted once the news crews got there. From what I heard and read in the papers and online is that a female news anchor was harassed and ridiculed as she was trying to do her job and get a little bit of information about what had occurred that day at the zoo, but the coonery continued. There is nothing cool about acting a fool on camera to show the world that their negative stereotypes about young black people are in fact correct. In the midst of all this madness, the manager of the 7-Eleven across the street from the zoo was attacked and robbed as well. He spoke out and aired his frustration about how he is faced with the same issue every year on the same day, African-American Family Day. Fucking shame. If this is how people are going to act with the heat just beginning to rise, imagine what lies ahead when Summer comes along and scorches the area.(Kinda hard to optimistic huh?) I'm good and damn sure that people's brains do not literally bake and melt and get scrambled when the heat increases, or does it? It is like people leave their common sense, reasonable logic, and smarts at the gates of seasons change. (I would know I worked at Disney, home of the idiots!) Oh yea people please do not forget that just because it is okay to show a little more skin does not mean that you have to show ALL OF IT! We are not trying to see all of that, I promise you. I saw a girl the other day with more ridges in her cellulite ridden ass than a bag of ripple UTZ BBQ chips, disgusting! And ladies please do not think that showing a little more ass and boob is the key to keeping a guy around to build a substantial, lasting, and meaning relationship. Us dudes love Spring Flings and Summer fun as a substitute for an actual relationship. Trust me, there are a million girls doing and wearing the same things that you are in the name of the season; don't sell yourself short. But once again, like always, I digress; I just think that summer flings are the longest form of a one-night stand ever. But for the remainder of the season and throughout Summer let's increase the peace as the heat rises and not the crime rate. Let's keep our cool rather than lose it, and let's create memories rather than witness nitemares. Springtime is here!